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  • Three Stories from Today

    I must say that while I hate retail, I look forward to funny and WTF stories here, but am glad to be able to share recent ones from retail hell.

    For Five Dollars, He'll Be Back: Guy has a small, cute dog in his cart. Now we've just started cracking down on people bringing dogs in the store, unless of course they're service dogs. I kindly point out to him that the managers have started cracking down on this and that only service dogs will be permitted in the future.

    SC: "That's BS! Tell the manager that he can kiss my ass. You tell him that."
    Me: "Eh, I'm not gonna tell him that."
    SC: "And I'm going to Home Depot from now on. They love him there and they'll let me in. I'm not shopping here anymore!"
    Me: (SC goes to pay with a gift card. Thankfully it has a balance of five dollars and change. I write the amount on the back of it, then go to hand it to him like I would any customer, but I realize something and pause) "Wait, um... do.. you want this at all?"
    SC: "Of course! Why wouldn't I?"
    Me: "Well, you just said you were not going to shop here anymore. You said you were going to Home Depot.."
    SC: "... well.. erm, uh... I'll take the card..."

    PWNED!!!

    Here's Cousin Larry Appleton: Guy gets two flexible plumbing pipes. There's no UPC code on either of them. However, I do find an item number. I type that in, and it comes up at a disturbing $40. So I ask "Are you sure there aren't $40?"
    SC: Yeah, haha. They were in a bag full of other ones, but it was open..

    (Obviously it was meant to be sold as a pack, not individually. Yet, we have individual flexible plumbing pipes widely available for sale.)

    Me: "Ah, that's it. They're sold as a pack then, so I can't sell them individually.
    SC: "okay..."
    Me: "....so did you want to go back and get two regular pipes with a tag on them?"
    SC: "..."
    Me: "..."
    Sc: ".... ..."
    Me: "okay then, If you really wanna pay full price for a bag of them and only get two..."
    SC: "(sighs) Don't be Ridiculous! (walks back to get what I suggested).

    The Guy that Made My Night He comes in with a plunger and a hair removal tool for drains. Being that the temps have been in the single digits earlier in the week, and a lot of people's homes have frozen/busted pipes, I say, "better this than new pipes and blowtorches, huh?"
    Guy: "Ugh, yeah. This is from my grandkids though."
    Me: "Grandkids?"
    Guy: "Yeah, my grandson clogs up the toilet most of the time he's over. He's 6 feet tall.."
    Me: "Heh, you should just tell him 'let's go over to your place instead.. haha"
    SC: hmph.. he's a POWER SH***ER.."
    Me:
    Guy: (shakes head constantly) "Every time we have to deal with this stuff.."
    Me: "You know, sir... we have wood to construct a catapult too.. haha"
    Guy: "I may just send him over to the nearby woods..."

  • #2
    For Five Dollars, He'll Be Back: That is the BEST!!

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    • #3
      On number 3. I swear old people make me laugh every time. I worked, in the kitchen, for a great group of elderly in a nursing home.

      I hated the work,
      But I loved the people.
      I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

      What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

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      • #4
        Only reason I've been haunting Worst Buy recently is I have multiple gift cards there totaling over $200. The bulk of that came from when I returned the ipad mini one of my relative got me for xmas. Worst Buy rarely has anything I want. So unless I find something over $200 to buy there, it's gonna take me a while to use up that gift card!
        Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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        • #5
          I know the dogs thing can be confusing, since the decision is made by the store manager; where I live the Lowes on one side of town allows pets, the other one doesn't, but all home depots still do. I think it stemmed from people not cleaning-up after them.

          You sure get a reaction when you go in with a bearded dragon or a rabbit though!
          "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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          • #6
            Lol! Love the $5 guy.

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