Do I Have To Shout At You?

[Canadian In Maine]

MOG - Miserable Old Goat Customer
MOGF - MOG's Friend
CW - Coworker
ME - Me

It's one minute before quitting time at Timmies, 6 am, and in comes a semi regular. I may have served him once or twice, certainly not enough to remember the way he takes his coffee.

MOGF - I'll have a large double double.
ME: Coming right up.
*MOG approaches, scowling*
MOGF - I'll pay for his as well.
MOG - Small, porcelain cup.
*CW grabs a small porcelain cup and waits, expectantly*
ME - Small what?
MOG - Coffee, what else???
ME - Fine, how do you want it?
MOG - *blinks*
ME - How do you want it???
MOG - Do I have to shout at you to get my coffee?
ME - No, but I'm not a mind reader either. I repeat, how do you want your coffee???
MOG - BLACK!!!
ME - Do not speak to me like that.
MOG - *blinks* Jesus christ, what is wrong with this fucking place???

CW gets the small black in a porcelain cup, presents it to MOG and MOG grabs it and stalks off.

CW - Wow, I thought he was playing around at being difficult.
ME - (to MOGF) Thanks for your support with that, is your friend always that miserable?

MOGF kept his eyes downcast the entire time, clearly embarrassed but not enough to tip more than a quarter.

On our way out the door MOG gave us both the stink eye and we both just smiled sweetly back at him. I made sure, however, to turn on my high beams through the window just to piss him off.

[otakuneko]

How dare you not read my mind! This is an outrage! What's wrong with this place?!

[dalesys]

How dare you not read my mind!

I'm not paid to wade your cesspool mind, looking for the *right* constipated nugget of thought.

[XCashier]

ME - Small what?
MOG - Coffee, what else???
ME - Fine, how do you want it?
MOG - *blinks*
ME - How do you want it???
MOG - Do I have to shout at you to get my coffee?

No, you just have to answer the question and behave like a decent human being.

What the hell is with people like this, who insist upon being assholes? Does being difficult make his life easier? Does it give him a little thrill of power? Or is it just because nobody's punched him out for his rudeness yet? It just boggles the mind, it really does.

[Canadian In Maine]

It boggles my mind as well. It's amazing how miserable some folks are. I had another one in the other day, elderly gentleman who asked for a "small chocolate".

My natural response was, "chocolate what?"

My god, he looked at me like I'd sprouted two heads before his very eyes and with a very impatient tone he replied, "Well, hot chocolate, of course."

I said, "Oh, my apologies, I didn't know if you meant chocolate milk, coffee, donut, or something else."

I mean really. Why are people so bloody obtuse sometimes??

[crazylegs]

It boggles my mind as well. It's amazing how miserable some folks are. I had another one in the other day, elderly gentleman who asked for a "small chocolate".

My natural response was, "chocolate what?"

My god, he looked at me like I'd sprouted two heads before his very eyes and with a very impatient tone he replied, "Well, hot chocolate, of course."

On the flip side, I regularly confuse my local takeaways and coffee places when I rattle off my order all at once (burger meal, large, with coke please). I'm normally met with a couple of questions, one being what size I want my meal and the other what drink I want...

I guess people are so used to having to drag the info out of everyone they're not used to all the info at once.

[EricKei]

crazy - It's also a matter (especially if they're new) of being made to follow a script - maybe they just don't realize that they can deviate from it if the custy is *gasp* actually prepared

[Canadian In Maine]

I love it when a customer is prepared...but in my own defense, especially when the order comes squawking via the drive thru into my headset - it isn't always easy to hear and interpret.

Customers have been known to rev their engines, suck on a cigarette, chew gum, talk on their cells, shush kids, or heaven forbid, not speak directly into the squawk box. All of which makes things more difficult. Add to that the sensitivity of the touch screen ordering system I'm trying to enter things into when the customer is speaking a hundred miles an hour!

[crazylegs]

I love it when a customer is prepared...but in my own defense, especially when the order comes squawking via the drive thru into my headset - it isn't always easy to hear and interpret.

Of this I have no doubt. I see the headsets the local guys use and they look like something that comes out of a Christmas cracker, hardly something that aids customer service

[raudf]

Well, it'd help the ol' mind reading, if there was a mind there to read in the first place. Also, if there is a mind present, knowing what you want helps too.

[wolfie]

On the flip side, I regularly confuse my local takeaways and coffee places when I rattle off my order all at once (burger meal, large, with coke please). I'm normally met with a couple of questions, one being what size I want my meal and the other what drink I want...

I've run into that as well. When I'm asked for my order, I'll say "Big Mac meal, with Coke, to have here", and they'll ask me what I want to drink, and whether it's an "eat in" or a "to go" order. About the only way a counter person could be more confused by such a simple order would be if someone placed that order at Burger King.

[raudf]

I actually feel for the workers that are intelligent. Between registers that are designed to be step-by-step for the intelligence impaired and the customers who want to treat them as Chuck E. Cheese animatronix, you learn quickly to just pretend to be a robot who BSOD at the slightest deviation from the normal abuse/obtuse patterns. You just get in the groove and pray it lasts long enough to end another horrible day.

(Mart of Wal encouraged this sort of behavior in cashiers. Just smile, auto-pilot and get it done. Don't remotely act human otherwise.)