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You look pretty good for a dead guy!
  #1  
Old 02-12-2014, 11:25 PM
drjonah drjonah is offline
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Default You look pretty good for a dead guy!

So last night I went to the store to get some groceries. In Ohio, the cutoff for alcohol sales is 1am. As I'm approaching the register an extremely obnoxious guy (OG) is arguing with the cashier

Cashier - I'm sorry sir but it's past the 1am cutoff for alcohol sales

OG - OH COMON, YOU'RE LYING TO ME!

Cashier - No sir, state laws cuts off the sales of alcohol at 1am

Me - She's right, it's the law

OG - BUT I'M A VETERAN! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO BUY ALCOHOL WHENEVER I WANT.

Cashier - Sir, if you have a problem with the laws, you need to take it up with the lawmakers in Columbus

OG - BUT I DIED FOR THIS COUNTRY!!!

Me - You look pretty good for a dead guy

OG - F#$% YOU! I'M CALLING CORPORATE (storms out)



ps - I respect everyone who has served in the military but I absolutely detest when people try to throw that in your face to try and get you to bend the rules for them.

  #2  
Old 02-13-2014, 02:36 AM
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barainga barainga is offline
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I am a veteran. I served in Iraq, I was once told it was a minute past the cut off time. I shrugged my shoulders and bought a soda some cigs and left. It pains me that any vet would try to use the status to get around the laws.

Last edited by barainga; 02-13-2014 at 02:41 AM.

  #3  
Old 02-13-2014, 03:13 AM
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MadMike MadMike is offline
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I wonder if it could have been this guy. (Warning NSFW.)
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  #4  
Old 02-13-2014, 12:02 PM
CrappyToHelp CrappyToHelp is offline
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"Yes, sir. I'm lying. Your pathetic, meagre existence means so much that I risk my job so I can get out of selling you booze."

  #5  
Old 02-14-2014, 03:29 AM
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Quote:
Quoth barainga View Post
I am a veteran. I served in Iraq, I was once told it was a minute past the cut off time. I shrugged my shoulders and bought a soda some cigs and left. It pains me that any vet would try to use the status to get around the laws.
Amen to that. I served my time, and I have NEVER. EVER. thrown it in anyone's face. (Hell, I rarely mention it without reason, said reason usually being "military/vet discount". )

But the "I died for this country" just proves that even stupid people are allowed to serve.
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  #6  
Old 02-14-2014, 11:51 PM
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Mr Hero Mr Hero is offline
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SC is doing it wrong. The point of war isn't to die for your country. It's to make the other side die for theirs.
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  #7  
Old 02-15-2014, 01:26 AM
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Plague*Star Plague*Star is offline
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Quote:
Quoth drjonah View Post
OG - BUT I DIED FOR THIS COUNTRY!!!
I'm sorry, sir, brain death doesn't count.

P*S

  #8  
Old 02-15-2014, 03:34 PM
snugglegirl05 snugglegirl05 is offline
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Quote:
Quoth drjonah View Post
Me - You look pretty good for a dead guy

OG - F#$% YOU! I'M CALLING CORPORATE (storms out)
Ok

And exactly what is the Corporate office supposed to do about the laws that the lawmakers in Columbus make?

What does the old guy think that the Corporate office can do?

He does need to go to Columbus, OH and complain himself if he wants to buy alcohol after 1 a.m.

Or go to a bar or a serving restaurant like ADeMartino mentioned.

Last edited by EricKei; 02-21-2014 at 12:21 PM. Reason: trimmed excessive quote

  #9  
Old 02-15-2014, 04:08 PM
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ADeMartino ADeMartino is offline
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Quote:
Quoth snugglegirl05 View Post
Ok

And exactly what is the Corporate office supposed to do about the laws that the lawmakers in Columbus make?

What does the old guy think that the Corporate office can do?

He does need to go to Columbus, OH and complain himself if he wants to buy alcohol after 1 p.m.
Or just go to a bar or serving restaurant. They can sell until 2, if memory serves.

Yeah, I've had people try that 'I'm a veteran' shit, too, when I won't sell them beer because it's after cutoff, if they don't have ID, or if they're clearly inebriated already. Yeah, buddy, I'm a veteran, too. But guess what? The cops won't give a shit about my veteran status when the arrest me for alcohol sales violations. So just mosey on down the road.

Last edited by ADeMartino; 02-15-2014 at 04:12 PM.

  #10  
Old 02-15-2014, 07:14 PM
wolfie wolfie is offline
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I'd be tempted to keep a bottle of one of the liquid artificial sweeteners (can't recall which brand) at the register, and tell an SC like that "This contains sorbitol, which is a type of alcohol which is legal to sell at this time. Do you want to buy it?".

Technically, any chemical with a name ending in "ol" is an alcohol. While sorbitol is not toxic (otherwise it wouldn't be legal to sell as an artificial sweetener), consuming it in large quantities (i.e. drinking it as if it were hooch - but I doubt if anyone would be able to tolerate the taste in concentrated form) can have side effects - I'm sure you guys have heard about the sugar-free gummy bears.

Note that a supermarket with a pharmacy department would have other alcohols available as rubbing alcohol, but since this would have either a "make it undrinkable" ingredient (95% ethanol), or be inherently toxic (methanol or isopropanol), they would NOT be suitable for this "backup plan" offer.
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