Am I crazy?

[smileyeagle1021]

Well, I know I'm crazy, that has been established
More specifically, am I crazy in feeling this way in this specific case.

I am right now living in my grandma's old house, I'm renting it from my mom, aunt, and uncle. It is a nice enough house (3 bed, 2 bath, about 1400 square feet not including the two covered porches, detached garage, washer/dryer in house, along with a clothes line in the yard, which I actually prefer to the dryer when I can use it, decent quality appliances, and mature landscaping) and not in a horrible neighborhood (crime is fairly low, traffic isn't bad*, and it is one of the places in the value with an unobstructed view of both the Lady Rose on Mount Rose and also of Mount Davidson... however, according to walkscore.com the walkability score of this neighborhood on a scale of 1 to 100 is 5... we are quite literally in the middle of nowhere, there is literally nowhere we can go that doesn't require a car or a walk long enough to be counted as your daily workout plus some).

Now, here is where I'm apparently crazy, I am keeping my eyes open on places that I can buy. As much as I like the house, it is as I mentioned at the intersection of Middle and Nowhere, but more relevantly I am renting my grandma's house. On two levels makes me want to change the situation... one, I really want something that is mine. I want something that is permanent. I doubt that my family is going to sell the house out from under me, but at the same time, no matter how much trust and faith that I have in them will never change the fact that they could if they so desired. I know that banks can screw you in many ways, but at least there is legal recourse most of the time when that happens. And frankly, as an investment, your own home is a good one... yes it can lose value, as we've learned recently, but as long as what you pay in interest, plus the loss in value, plus any repairs that may be needed while you live there is less than what you would have paid in rent, then you've come out ahead.

Second, and this is where it seems like I'm crazy... it's grandma's house. I was talking to my mom yesterday, and not once in the conversation did we refer to it as "my house"... I routinely referred to it as grandma's house, she referred to it as mom's house. I'm having doubts on whether or not somewhere can truly be a home when even after a year of living there you can't bring yourself to call it your home... I know it's possible that if I were to actually buy the house (it isn't FHA compliant, and I know I can't afford the down payment on a conventional loan, but I might be able to negotiate a lease to own situation), it might give me a better sense of ownership, but I don't think I can feel that for a rental.

Am I crazy for wanting to buy my own place? Should I be happy to be living in my grandma's old home? I know that there is a value to keeping a home in the family and it used to be the norm to live in ancestors' homes, but I'm not sure if that is me. I guess I'm asking for a second opinion, am I being unreasonable thinking about buying a house rather than continuing to rent from my family?

[telecom_goddess]

In my opinion I would stay put in your grandma's house, and start calling it your house. If something breaks you don't have to cover the cost of it, it's still someone else's problem. And it sounds like a nice house, plus you're keeping it in the family.

I would just stay if I was you.

[Kheldarson]

No, not crazy.

Kabe and I were in the same position really. We were renting his mom's trailer which really meant covering utilities. Pretty sweet deal, even with the trailer's issues (no insulation, drafts, leaks, mold....).

Anyway, got pregnant and now a 400 sq. ft. place is no good. We began house hunting.

His mom thought we were crazy. I mean, she had renters with a baby before! (They stacked all their used diapers outside in a pile.) The place wasn't that bad in shape! (Yeah, we run the heater/AC 24/7 because we want to, sure. And the water heater's busted twice. Sure, there's not a mold problem.)

We found a place and moved, right before the big freezes, thank God.

Anyway, people will call you crazy, but so what? If you find something you love and it's within budget, go for it! But wait to move until you find a place that fits those requirements. Don't jump on the first near fit just to get out.

[Javarod]

Not crazy if its what you want. Me, my were and a friend rent a town home which is enough house for me, I don't want to have to mow the lawn or anything, someone elwe can eeal with that stuff.

[Seshat]

I understand all your issues with it.

I only have three comments:

1. Is it going to remain in the middle of nowhere?
As an example: our place is in an area which is gentrifying, the longer we stay, the more and better the local facilities become. (And our land is significantly higher in value than our house is - and more than our mortgage. After only ten years of living here.)

2. Have you yet gone through and studied the differences in the experience of owning vs renting? If not, please do so: one place to start is the archives here, plus there's tons of websites, books, and other media that talk about it.

3. Take your time. The more patient your house search, the better a deal you'll come out with at the end. And you have a lovely, near-perfect home to live in while you look.
You never know, you might end up deciding that your current situation is better than anything you can afford to buy, with your current income. Or you might not. You won't know until you look.


So yeah: I think there's absolutely no harm in researching and looking at housing. Right now, you're feeling unsettled. Once you've looked and made a decision, you'll settle down, no matter what you decide.

[cleorose]

I don't think you can always rely on family to do the right thing. When your grandma passes on, who does the house go to? Does she have a will or estate executor planned out? If not that house is an asset that is worth $$$.

I do not know about other states BUT in Indiana when someone dies, the estate passes HALF of the estate to the spouse. The other 50% is split between the children.

In some cases a child has died or can not inherit (JAIL for life lol ) it passes to THEIR children.

My husband's aunt passed away and left behind a house that her daughter was living in. No will. Nothing. Her Other two children are crummy people (hence jail) but as they get out soon, they can and do plan to contest house ownership. And they are in the right. She will have to sell the house to give each of them a share or buy them out to live in the house.


If you want to remain there, either build up a substantial downpayment on a home JUST IN CASE OR talk to your grandma about buying the house outright. Or at least making a will to leave you the house to live in as long as you want.

[smileyeagle1021]

I don't think you can always rely on family to do the right thing. When your grandma passes on, who does the house go to? Does she have a will or estate executor planned out? If not that house is an asset that is worth $$$.

Grandma already passed back in 2008, it was inherited by her three children. And while I trust my family not to screw me over, it doesn't change the fact that they can. My mom made the comment that "you know that your aunt and uncle wouldn't sell the place out from beneath you." No, I don't know, I think and I even believe, but I don't know.
And that she has been beyond the veil for more than half a decade and it is still "her" house as far as anyone is concerned is part of the problem... if in half a decade and several tenants before me (I was living out of state until about a year ago) it hasn't left her ownership psychologically, will a piece of paper that says I now legally own it change it? I guess it would be a good first step, but I have my doubts.

I understand all your issues with it.

I only have three comments:

1. Is it going to remain in the middle of nowhere?
As an example: our place is in an area which is gentrifying, the longer we stay, the more and better the local facilities become. (And our land is significantly higher in value than our house is - and more than our mortgage. After only ten years of living here.)

2. Have you yet gone through and studied the differences in the experience of owning vs renting? If not, please do so: one place to start is the archives here, plus there's tons of websites, books, and other media that talk about it.

3. Take your time. The more patient your house search, the better a deal you'll come out with at the end. And you have a lovely, near-perfect home to live in while you look.
You never know, you might end up deciding that your current situation is better than anything you can afford to buy, with your current income. Or you might not. You won't know until you look.


So yeah: I think there's absolutely no harm in researching and looking at housing. Right now, you're feeling unsettled. Once you've looked and made a decision, you'll settle down, no matter what you decide.

1. It will always be in the middle of nowhere in as much as you can always feel alone in a crowd. Housing is booming in the area, but it is only housing, things to do other than visiting neighbors have been locked out of the immediate area unless some houses start getting knocked down. And the neighbors aren't the type of people that I'd normally socialize with (they are nice people, but me and my husband moving in lowered the average age for the subdivision by 10 years). As far as raising children (which is a long term goal), I was raised in that neighborhood, I wouldn't want to raise a child there. At least when I was growing up the options you had as a kid for things to do when you weren't at school or doing homework was video games or drugs, and I have not really seen any sign that has changed. And this is somewhat selfish, but I know that RTC will never open a line to our neighborhood, I know with all that has already been built for houses that the only thing that will ever be within walking distance is other houses, and I want to be able to when my future children get older be able to hand them a bus pass and tell them to explore the city rather than telling them to arrange dad's taxi service 24 hours in advance.
2. I have not, but I am doing so now... I have started watching the videos and reading the blogs. The one thing I have noticed though about the benefits of renting is that there seems to be two groups that are much better off renting in the long run, the extremely low income that have no choice in the matter and the extremely wealthy for whom financial considerations don't apply.
3. I am obviously taking my time... I know that despite my misgivings, where I am now is at least objectively a nearly perfect place for me at this stage of life... my only rush factor is in listening to news about the prime rate potentially going up and if I am going to make a major purchase like a home, I obviously would want to do that before rates go up.

On a somewhat related unrelated note:
Is anyone familiar with oil heat? I've heard horror stories, but I've also hear people say it really isn't that bad. So, anything either good or bad that I can learn will help in evaluating a listing I saw (the place looks great, good location, close to a lot of stores and restaurants, close to transit, only problems that I can see without doing an actual tour is that it has oil heat which I know a lot of people don't want and it is under the flight path... which I already am anyway).

[NecessaryCatharsis]

Local info only:

Oil is delivered by trucks, put into tanks, and used for heat. The furnaces are no worse than others, oil is a lot cheaper than propane or electric, but more expensive than wood or natural gas. Delivery companies will only deliver a minimum load at a time, usually around $1000, and mostly don't offer equal billing or split payments, so you have to have the heating money saved up by October or your screwed. The biggest problem is changing over to another type or selling the house, the tanks are extremely difficult to move or discard, and there can be really expensive repairs (5 figures) to decontaminate soil after a spill, more if groundwater is involved. Keep an eye on your tank, replace it BEFORE you get leaking, and keep all paperwork when you discard to prove it was legit. Or lease a tank (costs a fair bit more) and the supplier is responsible for removing/replacing and environmental clean up as needed - check your paperwork carefully to find out your obligation as far as checking up on and maintaining to keep the liability all on the leasee.

You would probably have to ask around to find out which of these apply to your area.

[Ophbalance]

Depending on your winters, oil heat should be much cheaper than electric. And also presupposing you lock in your fuel oil rate for the year and pay monthly. Our home in North East PA used oil heat, also for hot water, and it got BLAZING hot. It was much cheaper than baseboard electric and this was about 10 years ago. I've got a heat pump now but here in NC it's not very likely to go into negative temps or even low single digits and hasn't failed to keep the house warm in 7 years.

[Yfandes]

You're house hungry, I get that. Its not a bad time to buy, but there's a LOT to learn, and you cant always assume a home is a good investment, especially over the short term.

Start doing your research, and find out what YOU can afford, and by that I mean that housing costs no more than 1/4 your take home income, up to 1/3 in a high COL area. And is there a plan B if something goes wrong? (for instance I had to rent out one of my 2 bedrooms and get a second job when my husband left).

Besides the mortgage, housing costs include property tax (find out how much they can go up yearly for your area), insurances (I am required to not only have homeowners insurance, but flood insurance as well), maintenance, repairs, sewage, trash pick up, utilities, HOA fees (if any)...

And it doesn't hurt to start saving for a down payment, I hear that 20% is the new norm for a good fixed rate mortgage (don't even think about an adjustable, please). You can also use this time to make sure your credit rating is as good as it can be, and what you can do to improve it.

[MoonCat]

Re: Heat, I think natural gas is cheapest and most efficient. But it's also the only type of home heating I've ever used so I could be biased.

Buying: No, you're not crazy. There's a difference between living in what is essentially someone else's house, and owning your own. There are things I would change about what and where I bought, but I can't deny the feeling of pride that comes with owning a home. It's also a huge responsibility. You have to keep it up to community standards, if the roof needs to be replaced you're on the hook for about $10,000+, and so on.

You may want to look into NACA - Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America. I don't know if they're in your area, but they're a good way to buy a home without going through all of the hoopla that you have to do the regular way. For one thing, you don't need to come up with a $30,000 down payment. For another, they will get you an interest rate that's at least one point below the going rate. I could never have bought my house without them.

[wolfie]

On a somewhat related unrelated note:
Is anyone familiar with oil heat? I've heard horror stories, but I've also hear people say it really isn't that bad.

When people say natural gas is cheaper than oil, they're assuming that natural gas is available in your area. If there are lots of homes around you with propane for heat, natural gas probably isn't available.

In some areas (check your local laws), oil tanks are life-limited - when they get to a certain age, it's illegal for oil companies to fill them. Now is a good time to check with your oil company, and if the tank is going to "age out" before NEXT spring, the summer is a great time to replace it.

You've probably heard about people getting carbon monoxide poisoning when the heat exchanger in their gas furnace cracked. I don't know about the newer, high-efficiency oil furnaces, but with the old ones you'd KNOW if you had a cracked heat exchanger - the soot would be a PITA long before the carbon monoxide reached a dangerous level. Still, get a CO detector (or preferably one per floor).

If you can't get an oil delivery, and you're running out, round up a bunch of jerrycans and head for the nearest truck stop. Be sure to specify "reefer fuel" - it's (supposed to be) dyed to show that it's exempt from highway taxes. 20 years ago, there was no difference between "marked diesel" and heating oil. Now, there may be a difference, but if there is, it's simply that "marked diesel" has less sulfur than heating oil. An oil furnace will happily burn diesel.