Anxiety advice

[i4wolves]

Hi All;

I need advice. i just started a new job on Monday, had to call off on Friday because of severe panic attacks and thoughts of depression (suicide thoughts). Thoughts of depression have gone down. But I do not know how to make it through work without the anxiety. What makes me anxious the most is that I will be left alone in my department in one week (assuming I still have a job due to calling in the first week). Any ideas on how to get through the anxiety about work so I can still function and keep this job. Thanks all.

[Pimento]

I would begin seeking professional/medical help and maybe seek a job less likely to trigger attacks

[i4wolves]

Thanks for the advice. I am seeing a doctor, and I am on medication. I just am freaking out working alone when I do not know everything in the store yet. I am on xnax and also on things for my depression, prozac and abify. I hope it will get better by tomorrow as I know it looks horrible to call in the first week.

[blas]

I take generic Zoloft for my anxiety.

I almost had to get FMLA at my job nearly a year ago because I was afraid I was going to start missing work or getting sent home for my panic attacks. My good friend at the time covered my back for me because it only happened a couple of times, but then I had to get some help and medication.

It's no fun getting so worked up over something you literally forget to breathe. Or when you do start breathing again, you're breathing so hard, so heavy, you start tearing up and you all but slump onto the floor and someone has to come pick you up off the floor.

[Seshat]

Has anyone done any talking therapy with you, or helped you learn coping techniques? If not, ask - hell, demand - both of them. I often say that talking therapy (and coping techniques) is physiotherapy for the mind.

Talking therapy is like the time spent with a physiotherapist. You discuss the issues you're having, your therapist thinks about it, and about other patients they've had with similar problems, and the things they've studied.

The therapist might have to do the mental equivalent of .. what I call 'lancing a cyst'. Sometimes you get a bad thing into your mind, and you wrap it up in protective stuff so you never think about it, but it stays and festers and poisons your thoughts. If you ever watched M*A*S*H episodes with Dr Sydney Freeman, the psychiatrist, he does the 'lancing a cyst' technique in many of the episodes he's in.

Or you might have bad habits of thought: kind of like bad posture, or a walk pattern which puts excess strain on one ankle, or .. whatever. The therapist will then teach you exercises to help you have better 'thought posture'.

Or you might have bad habits of thought, but respond better to techniques other than the 'thought posture' techniques: much like some people respond well to being told how to improve their posture, but others do better if given hydrotherapy classes or zumba classes or pilates or yoga; and just get better posture because their body strength improves and the classes inherently involve posture changes.

Yes, I keep analogising back to physical things. This is because most of us kind of understand physiotherapy, but the mental therapies are confusing and strange to many, many people.


Now, for what you can do RIGHT NOW:

When I feel a panic attack coming on, I put myself in as safe a place as I can find, and take control of my breathing. Hyperventilating is just going to make the attack worse!
In - two - three, out - two - three. In - two - three, out - two - three.
If you need to, do it to the beat of a favourite lullaby, or some song with a similar tempo. (Do NOT use a rapid-tempo song!)

Then when I'm a little bit calmer, I do a mental exercise. I used to recite the alphabet, then that got too easy. So I recited it backwards. Now I'm up to calculating the Fibionacci sequence as far as I can go before I lose my place: by which point I'm usually calm.
Intellect overrules emotion, at least for me.
Find a mental exercise which works for you. If you're not a maths nerd, skip the Fibionacci sequence!

Other things which help.
1. Carry a worry book. When you find yourself worrying about something, write it into your worry book.
Every day, designate a time of day when you can find solutions to the things in your worry book.
If you find yourself worrying about something in the book, and it's not solution time, remind yourself 'it's in the book. I'll think about it then.'

2. During solution time, focus not on the worries themselves, but focus on the solutions. (See below for an example)

3. Imagine people who would normally cause you stress as if they were toddlers, or dogs, or Dr Seuss-style fuzzy unnameable critters. Think about how you'd treat a toddler who was having a tantrum about a silly thing, then modify it slightly (so you don't sound patronising) and treat your customer/co-worker/boss much the same way.
"No, sir, I am not going to be in two places at once. In this shop, we obey the laws of physics."



Example of solution finding:
Problem: you're going to be alone in the shop. You can foresee several instances where you're going to not know how to resolve problems.
Not a problem.
* have the phone number of a supervisor, trainer, or other co-worker. Be ready to call them if you need to.
* have a notebook in which you've written down how to do the regular chores in the shop.
* write out foreseeable problems that are outside the normal scope of operations; eg, someone is injured, there's a fire, there's a theft, you think you're being short-change scammed or otherwise scammed. Put each one on a separate page in a notebook. Ask for advice on solving each of them.
* write out foreseeable problems that are within the normal scope of operations, but which aren't in the 'regular chores' you were trained to do. Ask about solving them, as well.
* for anything that is in your notebook/notebooks, refer to the notebook. If you DO happen to be hit with anything outside the books, call the supervisor.
* when, not if, you get a customer who's impatient with you, remind yourself that if people want top-notch, ultra-high-end service, they should be shopping at Harrod's and Tiffany's. If they're paying your shop's prices, they get your shop's service.

Seriously, that IS how it works. Harrod's and Tiffany's pay for twice or three times the number of customer service staff that middle class or working class shops do: and their customers pay for that in markup on the product. Your customers want that service? They can pay the bloody markup.
That's why your shop leaves you on your own on week two: their customers won't pay the markup it'd cost to have enough staff to give you two people in the shop at all times.

[Seshat]

Side note: if you want to, start another thread (possibly in General Work Chat) about scams and how to foil them. Between the people in this forum, we have a TON of experience.

[Seshat]

Oh: in case I didn't make it clear...

... anyone who is being affected by anxiety, depression, etc - or any other emotion - to the point where it is interfering with your quality of life: SEEK MEDICAL HELP.

And yes, that does include 'high' emotions like happiness. My best friend gets what's called 'manias'; during which her judgement is severely affected. She would spend the food budget on makeup and clothes, and would drive riskily when she's manic. Other people will gamble during manias, or - well, all sorts of things. Judgement is impaired, impulse rules.
(Bast - my friend - is under much better control now, btw.)

If you just have sad days where you curl up with your doona and watch weepy movies, but can pull out of it if you really want to or need to, you're okay.
If you get really happy sometimes, but your judgement remains just fine, you're okay.
If you sometimes want to yell at people, but are capable of recognising that while person A will just yell back, but person B would take it personally and be badly hurt, so you yell at person A but deal with the issue differently if it's person B, you're not just fine, you're a damn good person.


If you have sad days but doing things that most of your friends think should bring you out of it, never do, you may need medical help.
If you have sad days and even emergencies leave you feeling 'who cares?', you DEFINITELY need help.

If you habitually overspend, or are otherwise controlled by impulse rather than judgement, you need help.

If you ever find yourself coming out of an anger and going 'what the hell have I just done?!' you need help.

Ditto with other emotions. If it's interfering with you having a good life, get help.