Sasquatch Patrol

[bhskittykatt]

(Technically a GWC sighting, but I think it fits best here.)

Hubs recently learned some interesting history regarding the security firm he works for. Apparently in the late '70s, there was a client near the downtown high school who was experiencing weird smells and sounds in the area and things being moved around the property. The client attributed these happenings to Sasquatch (rather than being, you know, next to a high school downtown) and hired Hubby's firm to do patrols to look for the skunk ape.

Meaning someone got paid to regularly patrol around a property after hours every night looking for Sasquatch. (Downtown...it was an uber-rare Urban Sasquatch, apparently.)

Hubs only wishes he had the sort of luck to get a shift like that (he's a member of a regional paranormal investigation group and would love getting paid to do something like that).

[Argabarga]

I occasionally drop by paranormal/conspiracist websites for a laugh or two at the more extreme examples of nuttery on display.

There is a small but vocal splinter faction of bigfoot believers who think the reason we've never found one is that we're looking in the wrong place, Sasquatch has allegedly moved to urban areas (for better job opportunities, I guess) and we need to focus our efforts on staking out dumpsters behind the downtown McDonalds, or the local high school's athletic field, or dark alleys in industrial districts at night, because that's where he'll be SURE to show up!

[Dreamstalker]

Maybe that explains the bear that wandered into downtown a few years back...it was really a baby sasquatch

[AccountingDrone]

I occasionally drop by paranormal/conspiracist websites for a laugh or two at the more extreme examples of nuttery on display.

There is a small but vocal splinter faction of bigfoot believers who think the reason we've never found one is that we're looking in the wrong place, Sasquatch has allegedly moved to urban areas (for better job opportunities, I guess) and we need to focus our efforts on staking out dumpsters behind the downtown McDonalds, or the local high school's athletic field, or dark alleys in industrial districts at night, because that's where he'll be SURE to show up!

I will occasionally bingewatch something like Destination Truth and get inebriated. [Well I also keep hoping against belief that he will fall off a cliff, though once he did almost fall off the Great Wall of China ]

Why in the name of all the little green apples are they running around in the middle of the night looking for a cryptid that is admittedly *diurnal* and most likely asleep?! It would be like looking in my living room in broad daylight for an eyeless cave dweller.

Then there are those morons who keep claiming that they know that stray electrical overages can cause the brain to misfire, and they keep claiming all these metal hull boats are haunted but they never bother asking when the last time it was degaussed was. I know the US Navy degausses their submarines between once a year to once every three years [predicated on the readings the ETs get]

[Cia]

I occasionally drop by paranormal/conspiracist websites for a laugh or two at the more extreme examples of nuttery on display.

There is a small but vocal splinter faction of bigfoot believers who think the reason we've never found one is that we're looking in the wrong place, Sasquatch has allegedly moved to urban areas (for better job opportunities, I guess) and we need to focus our efforts on staking out dumpsters behind the downtown McDonalds, or the local high school's athletic field, or dark alleys in industrial districts at night, because that's where he'll be SURE to show up!

Actually Sasquatch likes to hang out on the Standing Rock and Pine Ridge Indian Reservations in South Dakota.

[Sapphire Silk]

I occasionally drop by paranormal/conspiracist websites for a laugh or two at the more extreme examples of nuttery on display.

There is a small but vocal splinter faction of bigfoot believers who think the reason we've never found one is that we're looking in the wrong place, Sasquatch has allegedly moved to urban areas (for better job opportunities, I guess) and we need to focus our efforts on staking out dumpsters behind the downtown McDonalds, or the local high school's athletic field, or dark alleys in industrial districts at night, because that's where he'll be SURE to show up!

Ars Technica just had an article on Bigfoot. Scientists tested hair samples of 30 alleged Sasquatch specimens and found all of them belonged to other animals, all of which were identified.

Cue the nutjobs in the comments section claiming scientific conspiracy

[Estil]

Yes, for those of you in Rio Linda and West Palm Beach Sasquatch means Bigfoot.

[Shalom]

Yes, for those of you in Rio Linda and West Palm Beach Sasquatch means Bigfoot.

I used to have a book, damn if I can remember the title, but it was a series of drawings wherein the artist combined the features of two different celebrities with similar or related names, what might be called a "mash-up" if he'd done it today rather than 20 years ago. Some of the examples were "Bing Cosby" (Bing Crosby/Bill Cosby), Jerry Mathers (who played Beaver Cleaver) with Black Panther Leroy Eldridge Cleaver, "Barbara Walter" (Walter Cronkite/Barbara Walters), "Lee Marvin Hamlisch", "E.T. Amin", "Khadhafy Duck", and so on.

The drawing on the last page in the book was a combination of Louis Armstrong and Bigfoot, labeled simply as "Sasquatchmo"...

[vikingchyk]

... and we need to focus our efforts on staking out dumpsters behind the downtown McDonalds...

I think a squatch would have higher standards than that

[wolfie]

"Khadhafy Duck"

I've seen one by the same name, but as a political cartoon with the caption "It's snowing in Washington but the flakes are in Libya".

If he'd done the mashup book today, would he have done "Toby Urban"? Toby Keith and Keith Urban are both country music stars.

[Shalom]

oh, I remembered a few more. Abbott & Costello. "Ronzo" (Bonzo the chimp + You Know Who.) and "Nancy" (Ronzo's wife + Nancy the cartoon character). "Bob Dylan Thomas". "Joanie Carson" and "Mister Ed McMahon." You get the idea... wish I could find that book today.

edit: I just found a thread with a bunch more suggestions. Funniest so far was Steve McQueen Latifah.