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my oldest cousin (3rd youngest grandchild) is going through some horribly rough times.... I think karma is laughing its ass off and pointing...with names redacted, here is the letter my uncle sent...
Cast:
Referenced as We/I (since hes the one writing it): My Uncle, Cousin's Father
Aunt: Mother of Cousin
Cousin 2: Cousin's younger brother.
Think I caught all the pertinent names.....but please...its not for me I ask this, but for my cousin.
Cast:
Referenced as We/I (since hes the one writing it): My Uncle, Cousin's Father
Aunt: Mother of Cousin
Cousin 2: Cousin's younger brother.
Think I caught all the pertinent names.....but please...its not for me I ask this, but for my cousin.
When we went to see Cousin last fall it was in the aftermath of two personal ‘hits’.
His girlfriend L told him one Friday in May 2013 that she wanted a ring, a baby, a move to Omaha Nebraska where she was from and for Cousin to convert to Catholicism. Cousin balked and she left.
His ally and strategic owner of the AquaLogix products company went in to the hospital the next Monday for back surgery, had complications, and died. A control struggle for the company followed and Cousin was out.
He had toyed with DJing as an avocation off and on for years and picked it up again. This time he also turned to the drugs inevitably involved with the nightlife as his coping mechanism, Ecstasy and Meth.
He joined us for Christmas, which we celebrated in Florida. He was not healthy and he was drawing away from us all. He asked us for help and upon his return to California Aunt found a San Diego Psychiatrist/therapist who was a terrific fit. Cousin was unable to keep two appointments…and he went off the grid.
By this time the Meth had its talons into him very deep and he went underground. He was squatting in an apartment, throwing ‘famous’ parties, and playing DJ with loud music. He would not return or send emails, texts or phone calls.
The apartment belonged to a Navy SEAL who was deployed in Afghanistan and was due to return home. This was in May.
Out of the blue, at my office, I got a call from the SEAL’s commanding officer, a nice guy, a LT. Navy Seal who used to train with Cousin, was his friend, and was really worried about him. He had helped Cousin sub-let his friend’s condo and needed my help to get Cousin out. He said Cousin;
Hadn’t paid rent in months.
Had 13 noise complaints form the neighbors.
Had pretty much trashed the place.
Was going to be formally evicted.
Wouldn’t answer the door when he knocked.
He was in a rock bottom condition, unrecognizable as the Cousin he knew.
Over the next couple of weeks Cousin did vacate the premises. Also, Aunt and I got busy. We planned an intervention.
We researched and hired an interventionist, Cousin (2), and a 28 year old ex-addict with a go getter personality and professional certifications and was recommended by the top ranked psychiatrist mentioned before. We planned with CB to do an intervention in SanDiego, and put together the ‘Gang of Six’:
Mom
Dad
Cousin (2)
Friend 1 – Cousin’s childhood (since age 5) and school
chum from the neighborhood (in Rochester)
Friend 2 -- Cousin’s college roommate and football team mate
from Ithaca college days (in Rochester)
Friend 3 -- Cousin’s oldest, steady and only ‘straight’ friend in
San Diego
June 1st
The ploy: Aunt and I went to Florida Memorial Day weekend to help Cousin (2) and Cousin 2’s Fiancee move into their new rental home. We called Cousin and told him Cousin (2) was coming out to visit him for a 48-hour brother bond before Cousin (2)’s baby came and all dynamics change! Mom and Dad would put them up on the favorite hotel on the beach and they could hang together.
Of course, all six of us would be there on the day they would ‘check in’. And, at 5pm Cousin and Cousin (2) arrived at the hotel.
We had an intervention that lasted 5 hours and failed. Failed in the sense that Cousin said he would not go to detox or treatment. Failed in the sense that he came high and we couldn’t reach him emotionally. He was not the Cousin we love and know. Cousin was suffering from meth induced paranoid psychosis, a common result of long term use of the drug. And he was too gone to make sense.
We drew the line. We would only support treatment. The stakes were high. Truth is all options were terrible.
We went home and waited for the other shoe to drop.
June 11th
We get a call. Cousin has been arrested on the campus of UCSD (University of California San Diego) at 3:20 AM. He was walking around with a (legally registered) firearm in his backpack. He was in a meth-induced psychosis. (There is a 1995 CA law forbidding firearms on school grounds). He is in deep shit.
He stayed in Jail for the next 14 days while we worked behind the scenes to build a strategy. Our interventionist CB introduced us to a terrific attorney from LA who was not only a lawyer, but also an ex meth addict and licensed interventionist/ and alternative sentencing lawyer.
We hired him to be our liaison to the public defender, who worked directly for Cousin. By tactfully interjecting our desire to get Cousin into treatment, and Aunt telling the public defender that we had just tried an intervention, the judge ordered Cousin into 90 days treatment rather than an immediate trial. This was a very fortunate outcome, considering the charges.
He’ll be there until September 24th. You can see where he is here http://amissionformichael.com . It is a dual diagnosis treatment facility. Obviously, depression, anxiety or some diagnosis is involved with his self-medicating.
We have a long road to go down with him, and he has serious charges to face. The ‘meth psychosis’ is very real and he suffers from paranoid/grandiose thinking. This will take time to sort out.
We spoke with him yesterday, he sounds a little like old Cousin, and he is embracing treatment. This is very positive from where he was a month ago. Please send your prayers (And keep them coming…).
His girlfriend L told him one Friday in May 2013 that she wanted a ring, a baby, a move to Omaha Nebraska where she was from and for Cousin to convert to Catholicism. Cousin balked and she left.
His ally and strategic owner of the AquaLogix products company went in to the hospital the next Monday for back surgery, had complications, and died. A control struggle for the company followed and Cousin was out.
He had toyed with DJing as an avocation off and on for years and picked it up again. This time he also turned to the drugs inevitably involved with the nightlife as his coping mechanism, Ecstasy and Meth.
He joined us for Christmas, which we celebrated in Florida. He was not healthy and he was drawing away from us all. He asked us for help and upon his return to California Aunt found a San Diego Psychiatrist/therapist who was a terrific fit. Cousin was unable to keep two appointments…and he went off the grid.
By this time the Meth had its talons into him very deep and he went underground. He was squatting in an apartment, throwing ‘famous’ parties, and playing DJ with loud music. He would not return or send emails, texts or phone calls.
The apartment belonged to a Navy SEAL who was deployed in Afghanistan and was due to return home. This was in May.
Out of the blue, at my office, I got a call from the SEAL’s commanding officer, a nice guy, a LT. Navy Seal who used to train with Cousin, was his friend, and was really worried about him. He had helped Cousin sub-let his friend’s condo and needed my help to get Cousin out. He said Cousin;
Hadn’t paid rent in months.
Had 13 noise complaints form the neighbors.
Had pretty much trashed the place.
Was going to be formally evicted.
Wouldn’t answer the door when he knocked.
He was in a rock bottom condition, unrecognizable as the Cousin he knew.
Over the next couple of weeks Cousin did vacate the premises. Also, Aunt and I got busy. We planned an intervention.
We researched and hired an interventionist, Cousin (2), and a 28 year old ex-addict with a go getter personality and professional certifications and was recommended by the top ranked psychiatrist mentioned before. We planned with CB to do an intervention in SanDiego, and put together the ‘Gang of Six’:
Mom
Dad
Cousin (2)
Friend 1 – Cousin’s childhood (since age 5) and school
chum from the neighborhood (in Rochester)
Friend 2 -- Cousin’s college roommate and football team mate
from Ithaca college days (in Rochester)
Friend 3 -- Cousin’s oldest, steady and only ‘straight’ friend in
San Diego
June 1st
The ploy: Aunt and I went to Florida Memorial Day weekend to help Cousin (2) and Cousin 2’s Fiancee move into their new rental home. We called Cousin and told him Cousin (2) was coming out to visit him for a 48-hour brother bond before Cousin (2)’s baby came and all dynamics change! Mom and Dad would put them up on the favorite hotel on the beach and they could hang together.
Of course, all six of us would be there on the day they would ‘check in’. And, at 5pm Cousin and Cousin (2) arrived at the hotel.
We had an intervention that lasted 5 hours and failed. Failed in the sense that Cousin said he would not go to detox or treatment. Failed in the sense that he came high and we couldn’t reach him emotionally. He was not the Cousin we love and know. Cousin was suffering from meth induced paranoid psychosis, a common result of long term use of the drug. And he was too gone to make sense.
We drew the line. We would only support treatment. The stakes were high. Truth is all options were terrible.
We went home and waited for the other shoe to drop.
June 11th
We get a call. Cousin has been arrested on the campus of UCSD (University of California San Diego) at 3:20 AM. He was walking around with a (legally registered) firearm in his backpack. He was in a meth-induced psychosis. (There is a 1995 CA law forbidding firearms on school grounds). He is in deep shit.
He stayed in Jail for the next 14 days while we worked behind the scenes to build a strategy. Our interventionist CB introduced us to a terrific attorney from LA who was not only a lawyer, but also an ex meth addict and licensed interventionist/ and alternative sentencing lawyer.
We hired him to be our liaison to the public defender, who worked directly for Cousin. By tactfully interjecting our desire to get Cousin into treatment, and Aunt telling the public defender that we had just tried an intervention, the judge ordered Cousin into 90 days treatment rather than an immediate trial. This was a very fortunate outcome, considering the charges.
He’ll be there until September 24th. You can see where he is here http://amissionformichael.com . It is a dual diagnosis treatment facility. Obviously, depression, anxiety or some diagnosis is involved with his self-medicating.
We have a long road to go down with him, and he has serious charges to face. The ‘meth psychosis’ is very real and he suffers from paranoid/grandiose thinking. This will take time to sort out.
We spoke with him yesterday, he sounds a little like old Cousin, and he is embracing treatment. This is very positive from where he was a month ago. Please send your prayers (And keep them coming…).
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