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Do I know him? Nope. Awkward Social Moments!

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  • Do I know him? Nope. Awkward Social Moments!

    So there is this awesome sandwich shop on the other end of town. The owners are great folks. I only go over there periodically, because it is literally on the edge of town next to WalMart where traffic is a mess, but even if you go there once and wait three months before going back, the owners will remember you and ask how your husband/dog/whatever is doing. Friendliest sandwich shop you will ever visit, and the food is great, too! I would visit more if it wasn't so out-of-the-way on a bad traffic strip.

    Since I've started going back to school in an online program and we meet monthly for face-to-face labs and exams, I've been making monthly pilgrimages to this place since it's not far from campus.

    So I walk in and both the owner and his wife are working the registers and they smile. The owner asks if I'm going into nursing because he remembered I had brought in textbooks to study last time and I inform him I'm going into physical therapy assisting. The wife shares about how her mother is in phys. ther. and how that's going. All is well.

    Owner: "You know, we were talking about you the other day. You look really familiar. Did you go to [high school]?"
    Me: "No, I went to [other high school]."
    O: "But you went to [middle school], right?"
    Me: "Uh, yeah?"
    O's Wife: "And you used to go to [church] with your big family?"
    Me: "It was me, my brother, and our parents, yeah."
    O: "Yeahyeahyeahyeah! Do you remember our son, M?"
    Me: "Um...."
    O's Wife: "Our son! You went to school with him and we went to your church!"
    O: *pulls out his phone and shows me a picture*
    Me: "Sorry, that was a long time ago."
    O's Wife: "That's too bad. We remember you! You were always so well-behaved!"
    Me: "Yeah...sorry guys, I can't remember."

    I was eventually released to go eat my salad.

    Awkward social moment, right there.
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • #2
    Some people (Bast, for instance) have an almost-perfect memory for faces and/or names. This is often accompanied by a an excellent memory for interrelationships around those faces/names.

    Others don't.

    Until Bast got to know me, and to realise that I genuinely couldn't remember people well, and couldn't recognise people at ALL well ... she thought everyone had her perfect memory for faces.
    (I might have 'face-blindness'; even if I don't, I do have problems recognising people.)

    Anyway: My point is that it's quite possible the owners of the sandwich shop have Bast's level of facial recognition, and have never realised it's an unusual trait.


    (Edit to add: if you're curious about how I work around the face-blindness: Toth has a distinctive gait. I recognise him by that. Bast has distinctive and unique mannerisms. Coyote has unusually long, straight hair for a male, and a distinctive mode of dress. Another close friend always has a very unusual hairstyle. Etc, etc....)
    Last edited by Seshat; 07-31-2014, 10:15 PM.
    Seshat's self-help guide:
    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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    • #3
      ^^This.
      Faces and names. I don't have any reason to remember them. Even after associating with you several times in transactions. Unless you either do something extraordinarily wonderful OR Horrible/offensive/Annoying. Then, maybe.

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      • #4
        Oh, goodness--I sometimes can't remember the name of someone I've known 10 years. But I've had a few head injuries....
        "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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        • #5
          I've got no head for names at all. I've been at my current job for 10 years now, and there are still lots of people on the same floor as me that have been here as long/longer than me that I still couldn't tell you the name of.

          I'm not face-blind; I'll recognize them as a coworker, but I couldn't tell you their name to save my life.

          This leads to fun when I'm collecting money for the Lotto Pool. 23 players who drop off money every 10 weeks. I think I've got about 15 of them down, but the others, I have to ask what their name is on the list.

          Of course, I also couldn't tell you the names of my neighbours, including the two on either side of me, or the ones right below me. I do TRY to make a note to remember their names when they are said, but it just slips out of my head by the time I actually try to remember it again. And we've been neighbours now for 4 years at least.

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          • #6
            Quoth Seshat View Post
            (I might have 'face-blindness'; even if I don't, I do have problems recognising people.)

            ...

            (Edit to add: if you're curious about how I work around the face-blindness: Toth has a distinctive gait. I recognise him by that. Bast has distinctive and unique mannerisms. Coyote has unusually long, straight hair for a male, and a distinctive mode of dress. Another close friend always has a very unusual hairstyle. Etc, etc....)
            I probably have face blindness too. I try to imagine people I've known my whole life and I have zero clue what their face looks like...it's like they have no face at all in my mind.

            I've learned to just roll with it when people start talking to me until I remember who they are by some specific trait they have.

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