Loseing myself

[Mytical]

I honestly don't know where to put this, and part of that is also the problem itself. I will try to explain, but depending.. it could end up being just nonsense.

Not long ago, I experienced something that terrified me to death. A half of a day just.. gone. I have NO idea where I was, what I was doing, or why. But it gets worse .. in a way. For three hours me and my step brother.. and thought things were going good. He sat there, and I could see concern on his face, and finally he told me why. I had been calling him by my cousins name THE WHOLE TIME. I am losing myself, I can see it, I can feel it, and I can not do a thing about it. Any doctor I talk to about it.. just says "Take more Lactolous (spelling)" If I take any more I could take a bath in it!

It is terrifying to feel myself slipping away. To KNOW that I am slipping away more every day. To know I am powerless to stop it, reverse it, or heck even slow it down. So far I can remember names and such.. especially if I have known them for a long time. I just don't know when I will look at somebody and not know who they are. I feel trapped with a mind that is shutting down. I have no clue what I can do, because even if somebody makes a suggestion.. I will have forgotten it shortly after. Just had to get this off my chest. Before I forget anything else..

[MoonCat]

Hey buddy. Isn't there anything the docs can do? What about anti-dementia drugs? Not sure why you're experiecing this but the docs should be taking it seriously! Praying for you.

[Akasa]

/hugs

I have no advice, but you have my sympathy and concern.

[Geek King]

This definitely sounds like time to consult a different doctor, preferably one who specializes in memory issues. It sounds like a second opinion would be useful. I'd also ask current doctor why he thinks more of the medication is the answer, so you can compare the information you might get.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Ellain]

I have no advice, but *hug*

[Barracuda]

I would recommend finding a doctor who can get you a PET scan. (at least, I believe that's the correct scan, you may wish to double check.) This is a special scan that shows a 3-D image of the brain and can detect abnormally active or inactive parts of the brain. A specialist can use this to diagnose problems and possibly recommend treatment. In the meantime, I would recommend getting plenty of brain healthy nutrients, particularly the B vitamin group and gingko, and looking up natural remedies to increase blood flow to the brain as a whole. None of these steps are harmful, and they can help slow or reverse certain kinds of problems. I hope this helps, and I hope you feel better.

[Gizmo]

hugs Myt. I hope you find a solution. xx

[KhirasHY]

As someone who's had some neurology issues, there could be a few things going on. One possibility is something called aphasia (or disphasia at times), which is where you unconsciously use the wrong word in place of a correct one. Aphasia has many different levels of effect...for instance, I suffer from a type that causes me to transpose words when I speak, so I will say something like "how man can a low get" instead of "how low can a man get", for instance. More severe levels of the condition can result in someone basically being unable to communicate (they sound like gibberish) or unable to understand others (everything others say sounds like gibberish). This condition is, thankfully, pretty rare, so it's not very likely for most of you to come down with it. I can't say for sure, but the way it was diagnosed for me was having me repeat a tongue twister over and over...by the end of the second repetition, I will speak gibberish and not even realize it.

However, I would second the PET scan (or a CAT scan at the very least) - a lot of memory issues, including some aphasic issues like using wrong names, could be the result of minor strokes. I've had two friends who've had episodes where they couldn't remember things like their own name suddenly, couldn't type words, and so on...one even passed out at his computer after typing an entire paragraph of gibberish. Turned out both had the same sort of minor issue, though I'm not sure what doctors did to alleviate things.

I don't type all this to frighten you, but if your doctor isn't helping, it's time to request that he refer you to a neurologist, and go see them instead. Or see another doctor and get their opinion. Either way, don't let it slide, brain stuff has a way of getting worse if you don't treat it.

[Mytical]

Thank you everybody for the suggestions., I will write them down and take them to my doctor. I think mostly the problem is, that there is a memory issue tied in with Cirrhosis of the liver called Hepatic encephalopathy (had to look that one up, copy and paste FTW). It responds well to Lactulose. Mine has yet to respond to this medicine even though I am taking (by doctors orders) about 4x the normal amount. Every time I mention my memory issues (when I remember to) The answer for every doctor the second they see that I have Cirrhosis is "Take more Lactulose". How much of this stuff am I going to have to take before the doctors figure out "Hey, he is not responding to this!"

[BlaqueKatt]

your doctors are hearing you, but not understanding, it's not your fault or theirs, it's a communication issue, write this down. Sometimes it's not that the question is dismissed, it's just not presented in a way that they take notice.

"Doctor, I understand that Hepatic encephalopathy is a side effect of my main health issue, which is cirrhosis and is treated with laculose, however; I am taking x milligrams(insert dose for x) which I understand is 4 times the standard dose, with no effect, in fact it's getting worse. I'm concerned that it may be something else which is being masked by my primary diagnosis, as the prescribed treatment isn't working."

Doctors are told in medical school "when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras"
Your doctors sound like their focused so much on the horses, that the zebras are sneaking in unnoticed. Kind of a "can't see the forest for the trees". They're focused on one thing(the most immediate health issue) and not thinking that there may be other things happening that may be totally unrelated.

[Geek King]

Doctors are told in medical school "when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras"
Your doctors sound like their focused so much on the horses, that the zebras are sneaking in unnoticed. Kind of a "can't see the forest for the trees". They're focused on one thing(the most immediate health issue) and not thinking that there may be other things happening that may be totally unrelated.

Which is the basic idea for almost every episode of House.

[Mytical]

Today, it really come to a head. My mother, who was sitting beside me, had to grab the wheel from me. I did not know how I got to where I was, or even remember getting behind the wheel of a char. I am going to probably have to give up my license. I am now a danger to others as well as to myself.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I'm sorry about your medical troubles, but I just want to say that it's very courageous for you to recognize that it would be dangerous for you to drive, and for you to be willing to give that up. That's a very selfless gift you are giving everyone else around you, and you should be very proud of yourself. Too many people aren't willing to give that gift to others.

[XCashier]

I'm sorry about your medical troubles, but I just want to say that it's very courageous for you to recognize that it would be dangerous for you to drive, and for you to be willing to give that up. That's a very selfless gift you are giving everyone else around you, and you should be very proud of yourself.

Agreed! It's very decent of you to look out for the welfare of others like that.

Have you spoken to the doctor lately? BlaqueKatt's note is a good idea, as is the PET or CAT scan. I hope they can figure out what's wrong and give the correct treatment. We're all pulling for you here.