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How to Make Your Own Pwnade

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  • How to Make Your Own Pwnade

    Say you work for a major soft drink company as a sales Stupervisor and you're filling in for one of your account managers, who is on vacation for the week. You're going around, making out orders for grocery/convenience/dollar stores that's on the account manager's route.

    When making out an order, in say a grocery store, do you:

    1) look at your actual back stock on hand, the shelves and end caps/supplemental displays and make mental notes of their on hand levels

    2)do all of the above and still look at numbers on your tablet that show what the store sold on the previous sale at the same price (item in question: 6 pk/.5 ltrs @ 5/$10.00.)

    3) Take into account what time of month it is compared to the last sale and also when that same sale price is slated to roll around again (which I can see one week ahead on the computer via Corporate Intranet - soft drink sales planner gives me that info)

    4) Now that you have all that information on hand and, even after seeing that business is slow (remember even though usually this time of month is busy due to EBT/monthly checks coming out, it's also November and folks will hold off until closer to Thanksgiving) do you?

    a) agree w/the Back Door Receiver (who checks in the product and who is here in the store FIVE days a week, same as the assigned merchandiser who works through the product and can tell you what is needed) that we can hold off on sending an order before Monday at the earliest

    b) argue that you need to bring in Y amount on Saturday so we can maintain stock levels

    Guess which option this "genuis" chose?

    If you guessed B, you get a cookie.

    Okay, I went ahead and agreed to a Saturday drop. I have my reasons for this:

    1) I'm OFF on Saturdays, so whoever is opening MOD (last Saturday it was Grasshopper) gets to say yes or no as to whether it gets accepted

    2) If it gets sent back, it has to be resent on next delivery day (which would be Monday) This gives Mouser (my merchandiser who replaced Mighty Mouse) time to go through the back stock, which on Friday afternoon, was still heavy and Mouser just didn't get to work much anything out other than a few odds and ends

    3) AND because of 1 and 2, hopefully Mr. I Know My Numbers will have learned an important lesson on ordering for MY store.

    I advised Grasshopper of this Friday afternoon when he roamed through the back room (headed out to my ramp for a smoke) and Mouser and I were discussing the Stupervisor sending an order. Grasshopper said he was MOD Saturday morning and he'd check the back stock and shelf first thing so he could make a decision when the truck arrived. He agreed we really didn't need it for Saturday as we were slow business wise and it may stay that way through part of the weekend. We left it at that on Friday when I left the store around 2.

    Got a text from the driver on Saturday morning that he was at the store and who was the MOD? I missed that text by 2 hours b/c I was away from my phone and it was also my day off.

    Flash forward to Monday: my backroom doesn't look much different from Friday. Big Redd came in (he's the part time guy who works on Sundays and Mondays when Mouser is off) said the drop was turned away on Saturday. EDI (Electronically Downloaded Invoice) was still in the computer on Monday, so that I'd already figured out. But we still didn't know if it would be resent for that day, so in between all the other regularly scheduled deliveries I didn't have time to check back until after 11 when I sent the text to my driver to see if he had it. Nope. Go back to doing my regular Monday stuff and before i knew it, it was already 3:30 and I'm heading toward the back to put my cart up, grab my stuff and clock out - I'm paged to the office phone.

    It was Stupervisor advising me that b/c he'd been out of town, the drop that was turned away Saturday didn't get rerouted onto a truck for that day (no Shit, Sherlock) and that it was already too late to get it put on for Tuesday so it could be Wednesday before we got it (and that's the day the ad changes and the 6 pks would be OFF sale and their 12 pack cans ON sale, which we already had enough to set the front end cap up for then without this truck.) Whatever.

    Yesterday the truck didn't come and Mouser's reaction when I told him what Stupervisor said, he just (Account Manager is back this week, so usually when he comes by to make out our orders, Mouser is there and will just take his tablet and punch in what he needs. Now that's how you get the shit you need - order it yourself. this little guy.)

    Even worse: we're setting up for the Holly-Daze this week and all merchandise needed to be out by 12 noon today. That includes all holiday themes items, soft drink trees (all 3 of our drink vendors get a tree for ginger ale/cranberry flavored sodas/raspberry punchy stuff, you name it - the stuff that moves for holiday parties)

    DW had his tree in two weeks ago and was still in the box with his back stock this morning when he came in to get his space set up. He had set all the stuff aside for the tree on a separate float so he could get 'er done and over with.

    Other vendor (New Papa Bear) had to bring his tree in from the warehouse this morning. He replied when I texted him it would be here before 12 noon. More product is coming tomorrow morning but he already had enough in the back stock then to set up and make it presentable. Gotta have our Canada Dry Ginger Ale - that stuff MOVES this time of year.

    Mouser had sent his tree in week before last and we both remember it being in the back room still in the cardboard box. We both went back there yesterday afternoon to make sure of where it was so it would be ready to go out this morning.

    NO box to be found. And we both remembered it being propped up behind the pallets against the bunker on the wall where Mouser's back stock is.

    He had to make an emergency phone call to Stupervisor to get another display thrown on today's truck with the drop. We also before I left looked at the EDI printout and saw exactly what was coming in. We made a joint decision to send back the 6 packs, as he still had enough to finish filling the shelf and if he found he needed anymore he has another Litter Box store on his route that has plenty and can bring from there via store transfer.

    Got a text this morning from driver advising me he's en route and would be here in 30 minutes or so. I ask about the tree, to which he replied back NO.

    SHIT!!! I sent a quick text to Mouser to let him know that the drop was coming and there was NO tree display.

    About 30 minutes later, we're checking the stuff in and sent back an entire pallet of 6 packs (I think my driver was ready to if he had any left at this point) and I have to subtract the stuff off the EDI before I finalize. While we're finalizing, Mouser comes into the back room as driver is going outside to bring in the empty pallets to load onto his trailer.

    Mouser's looking around, grumbling about still too much stuff and asks where the tree is.

    Uh, didn't you get the text a short time ago? He checked his phone and went "Aww DAYUM!!!" He quickly calls the Stupervisor and then tells me "He's going to call Merchandising Stupervisor and get back to me"

    And in the meantime, and we all agreed on this point (me, Mouser and the driver even) that in the time it takes these Stupervisors to call this person, and this person calls that person, SOMEBODY could have gotten in their company truck, drove all the way across town to the warehouse (right around the corner from the Cheerwine warehouse off I-40 by the Big Farmer's Market roughly 30 minutes from my little store in NE Greensboro,) loaded up another display and been en route with that damned thing.

    Even funnier: this same Stupervisor who tried to cram up our back room with a Saturday truck tried the same crap at my old store and the girl who runs that back room had her merchandiser send EVERYTHING in the back room back on the truck!

    HE doesn't know it yet and my driver wasn't warned (because he'd gotten his paperwork and had left right before Mouser could tell him) but what's left of the 6 packs (mostly diet and diet caffeine free, which doesn't sell well in our neighborhood) will be sent back tomorrow, as it's getting ready to go out of date soon.

    So yep, this guy not only made up a fresh batch of Pwnade but he drank the whole thing!

    And yes, our tree display finally made it to the store around 1:15 this afternoon. Saw a guy coming up the HBC aisle while I was doing a rotation check bringing it in on a hand truck. Mouser knows its there but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get back today to get it set up. But if he didn't, he'll be there first thing in the morning.

    Hope so: Grasshopper will be back tomorrow (been off all week on a bear hunting trip) and has to report everything to Corporate as far as our holiday merchandising execution goes.

    I don't think I have enough brown liquor to get me through the evening.
    Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

  • #2


    Methinks, the next update will be interesting.
    I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

    What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

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    • #3
      My regular account manager is back from vacation and stopped by the store shortly before I left today. Mouser wasn't far behind - he had texted to say he'd be there around 1 to run the drop that came this morning (had 4 pallets and sent back an entire layer of 6 pks that were very close dated.)

      And yes, our tree display was still in the back room in it's cardboard box (apparently Mouser didn't get time to run back by yesterday evening to set it up) so at least we didn't lose this one.

      Had an interesting discussion with the Account Manager about Stupervisor and let him know point blank I did not want that guy back in my store to order ANYTHING. I have 3 sides: the nice side, the nasty side and the side NO ONE wants to see! This guy definitely was on the verge of seeing that inner bitch come out to play (Stupervisor, not the regular account manager.)

      Not sure what happened but I was told that he wouldn't be back to order anything else next time my regular guy took a vacay - and that Stupervisor had 3 other orders turned away (including one for Wallyworld - their Receivers are way BITCHIER than I am on a bad day!) My guess is the Stupervisor is in some deep shit w/his bosses over this. But if Big Red Cola company is run as dumb as the Litter Box, this guy will get promoted instead of shown the door.

      Hopefully I'll see Mouser tomorrow . . . he still hadn't made it in when I left around 1:30. But if this guy gets in any trouble for his antics over the past week, I'm sure I'll hear about it.
      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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      • #4
        Has anyone figured out what happened to the original tree that disappeared?
        Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

        I'm a case study.

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        • #5
          I didn't take it.
          I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

          Who is John Galt?
          -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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          • #6
            I no nussink!
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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            • #7
              Quoth Cia View Post
              Has anyone figured out what happened to the original tree that disappeared?
              Quoth taxguykarl View Post
              I didn't take it.
              Quoth dalesys View Post
              I no nussink!
              Still haven't found the first tree that was shipped to us but this is the tree I saw when I came in yesterday morning:
              Attached Files
              Last edited by DGoddessChardonnay; 11-15-2014, 09:00 PM. Reason: resizing photo
              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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