Not sure what to do about this

[snugglegirl05]

My Mom is in her seventies.

In 2013 she was admitted to the hospital for inflammation of the pancreas. She also developed breathing problems during her hospital stay. She stayed in the hospital for over a week.

She takes medication for high blood pressure as well as other medications.

Recently she was admitted to the ER because she had been sick for several weeks. She did not say what she was admitted for.

She lives alone in a one bedroom apartment.

The thing is this...

She has been trying to plan a Thanksgiving potluck for several weeks. Based on her past medical history and the fact that she was admitted to the ER after being sick for 3 weeks during the time she was trying to plan the potluck, is it a good idea for her to host a Thanksgiving potluck *health wise*?

[morgana]

No.

(*&#$ character limit)

[sms001]

I'd have to agree. Unless this gathering is going to be an incredible boost for her spirit wise, the stress, the unknown illnesses that may come with guests, and the activity itself all kind of point to a resounding "no." Is there anywhere else you could have it where she could be guest of honor - someplace larger, and where she wouldn't feel compelled to host?

[snugglegirl05]

I'd have to agree. Unless this gathering is going to be an incredible boost for her spirit wise, the stress, the unknown illnesses that may come with guests, and the activity itself all kind of point to a resounding "no." Is there anywhere else you could have it where she could be guest of honor - someplace larger, and where she wouldn't feel compelled to host?

I agree with you.

But there is not another place we can have Thanksgiving at.

My husband's sister is having Thanksgiving with her friends.

His other family members live out of state.

My mom's other family members live out of state.

I asked her this question, and she said yes, she can, but she needs help.

It is the stress part along with the activity itself which makes me want to postpone the potluck and have a X-mas potluck instead.

but then I would have to tell her.

That is the difficult part.

[Seshat]

Surely some family member or friend who is coming to the potluck can host it!

Even if the person who hosts it doesn't want to organise it, maybe it can be done as a team effort.

[Sapphire Silk]

She could host it if she had help from someone in the family so she doesn't over tax herself.

But then she wouldn't want to eat very much. Pancreatitis is very painful, so gorging is not a great idea.

Given her age and where she lives, this pot luck sounds like a rare social outlet for her. If you take it away from her, it could have a negative effect on her sense of independence and cause depression. If you or someone from the family tell her, "look you've been sick and you're not up to this, but we know how important this is to you so we'll come over and help with the work behind the scenes so you can make it happen" that will probably be better received than, "You too sick for this, and I want you to cancel it."