I live in a house with housemates X, Y and Z. The house is owned by X's mom, but she says to consider it ours. X is my ex-boyfriend, but we are friends and I love the house.
I was in bad shape after the breakup. Within the past year I switched antidepressants. I'm much better. It's now made me notice that a lot of the things I used to do, and the things X complained about me doing, he now does. I'm certain he may be depressed too. He gets very frustrated with work and the other housemates, Y and Z; both were unemployed for a while so he helped them out. They now have jobs and are paying him back, but can't contribute any extra money to the house.
X and I are doing all the house repairs, gardening and finishing a patio in the back yard. X and Y went camping this past weekend. I spent the weekend working, doing yard work and pouring cement. I come home today from work and continue mixing and pouring cement. I'm taking a break when X wakes up (working nights this week).
I have mild asthma and crazy post nasal drip; it always makes me feel like I have to clear my throat, but it's been better recently. I've always been prone to throat/lung infections and I think it's because of this overactive post-nasal drip But all those infections have left me with a sort of hoarse 'smokers' voice too, which is aggravated by even more post nasal drip! Today it was really bothering me but I didn't even realize how often I was 'Harrrmmmmmckkkkkkk'ing. X comes in to my room and tells me how maybe I should get it checked out and how my doing that has always driven him nuts and how Y does the same thing.
I apologized and asked if I woke him up. He said not really, but it was still annoying. Honestly I was pissed. It flashed in my brain all the things about X that piss me off. For him working nights I offered earplugs, facemask, sleep music, etc. Of course, NOTHING I ever suggest for anything will ever work (right?) for him, he's tried it all and KNOWS it won't. So he just keeps complaining about the throat clearing. I told him flatly I have no clue why it happens, but I'm sure whatever it is would only be corrected by surgery so I'll just live with it, and went back out to work on the cement.
And I just felt so RESENTFUL that I put aside all the projects I want to do to work on the house to take pressure off HIM, and because the other guys can't contribute but lately have not dusted, vacumned, fed a pet or done dishes, and I have almost single-handedly landscaped around the whole house and yet MY THROAT CLEARING IS TOO ANNOYING! I wanted to tell him fine, I will go on some of MY stuff so my throat wont annoy you and YOU can work in the yard. And I think of the stuff that I'm asked to do real quick as a favor, but heaven help me if I ask for help with a project I'll be waiting 6-months or will just learn how to do it myself, then be asked 'didn't you want help?' Well yes, but I wanted it done this year! Sometimes I don't think my housemates have any sense or priority or urgency. We're all pretty eccentric, but sometimes I feel like I have to be the anchor holding us all in reality and focus us on the practical and necessary parts of life.
So X came out and could tell I was upset; he always knows when I get quiet. And he said he didn't mean to act like the throat clearing was something I could help and it wasn't that bad, he was just tired. I did tell him thank you for apology and he had me very upset. And he helped with the cement and we planned to get more supplies tomorrow.
It happens every so often, I'll have this breaking point where I'm like 'that's it, F-this and F this place' which would not be practical at all. I don't like being the voice or reason or the mom, but I want s*it to get done! And how I'll be self-conscious about the throat clearing for a month.
I just....AAARRGGGGHHHH... Needed to get that off my chest.
I was in bad shape after the breakup. Within the past year I switched antidepressants. I'm much better. It's now made me notice that a lot of the things I used to do, and the things X complained about me doing, he now does. I'm certain he may be depressed too. He gets very frustrated with work and the other housemates, Y and Z; both were unemployed for a while so he helped them out. They now have jobs and are paying him back, but can't contribute any extra money to the house.
X and I are doing all the house repairs, gardening and finishing a patio in the back yard. X and Y went camping this past weekend. I spent the weekend working, doing yard work and pouring cement. I come home today from work and continue mixing and pouring cement. I'm taking a break when X wakes up (working nights this week).
I have mild asthma and crazy post nasal drip; it always makes me feel like I have to clear my throat, but it's been better recently. I've always been prone to throat/lung infections and I think it's because of this overactive post-nasal drip But all those infections have left me with a sort of hoarse 'smokers' voice too, which is aggravated by even more post nasal drip! Today it was really bothering me but I didn't even realize how often I was 'Harrrmmmmmckkkkkkk'ing. X comes in to my room and tells me how maybe I should get it checked out and how my doing that has always driven him nuts and how Y does the same thing.
I apologized and asked if I woke him up. He said not really, but it was still annoying. Honestly I was pissed. It flashed in my brain all the things about X that piss me off. For him working nights I offered earplugs, facemask, sleep music, etc. Of course, NOTHING I ever suggest for anything will ever work (right?) for him, he's tried it all and KNOWS it won't. So he just keeps complaining about the throat clearing. I told him flatly I have no clue why it happens, but I'm sure whatever it is would only be corrected by surgery so I'll just live with it, and went back out to work on the cement.
And I just felt so RESENTFUL that I put aside all the projects I want to do to work on the house to take pressure off HIM, and because the other guys can't contribute but lately have not dusted, vacumned, fed a pet or done dishes, and I have almost single-handedly landscaped around the whole house and yet MY THROAT CLEARING IS TOO ANNOYING! I wanted to tell him fine, I will go on some of MY stuff so my throat wont annoy you and YOU can work in the yard. And I think of the stuff that I'm asked to do real quick as a favor, but heaven help me if I ask for help with a project I'll be waiting 6-months or will just learn how to do it myself, then be asked 'didn't you want help?' Well yes, but I wanted it done this year! Sometimes I don't think my housemates have any sense or priority or urgency. We're all pretty eccentric, but sometimes I feel like I have to be the anchor holding us all in reality and focus us on the practical and necessary parts of life.
So X came out and could tell I was upset; he always knows when I get quiet. And he said he didn't mean to act like the throat clearing was something I could help and it wasn't that bad, he was just tired. I did tell him thank you for apology and he had me very upset. And he helped with the cement and we planned to get more supplies tomorrow.
It happens every so often, I'll have this breaking point where I'm like 'that's it, F-this and F this place' which would not be practical at all. I don't like being the voice or reason or the mom, but I want s*it to get done! And how I'll be self-conscious about the throat clearing for a month.
I just....AAARRGGGGHHHH... Needed to get that off my chest.
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