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Do you REALLY know???????

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  • #1

    Do you REALLY know???????

    Had 2 phone orders back to back

    AND Where are you NOW????? and I want double whatever you are smoking/ingesting

    Me: why do I have any hair left????
    IDKWIA: mind altered dude who is somewhere in the Twilight Zone

    Phone rings and I answer


    Me: <standard phone greeting>
    IDKWIA: Delivery
    Me: OK may I get your phone number please??
    IDKWIA: 123-456-7890
    Me: OK your address is 123 X St. in the back???
    IDKWIA: no I am somewhere else.
    Me: OK what is the address where you are now

    Wait for it>>>>>>


    IDKWIA: 123 X St. in the back
    ME: SO you are at 123 X St. in the back
    IDKWIA: YES

    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP P
    Does NOT compute
    Fatal OS ERROR
    BSOD
    re-boot
    re-boot failed
    Replace brain

    NOW come the fun part taking the order.

    IDKWIA: Yeah I want WANGS
    Me: they come in x,y,z size
    IDKWIA:I want z size but I want to split it up into 3 different sauces
    Me: I am sorry but we can not split that size order up. It has to be all one sauce. What we can do is give you 3 x size orders with different sauces (since y and z counts are multiples of x)
    IDKWIA: OK I will have 1 order of x size SPICY.
    Me; OK we have a variety of sauces for those wings. Here are the spicy flavors Spicy A and Spicy B
    IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
    Ne: I understand that SIr. BUT we have Spicy A and Spicy B sauces
    IDKWIA: HOT and spicy

    <wash rinse and repeat for 2 minutes>
    Me; OK <at this point I just select one of the Spicy Sauces without telling him.
    Me: and what flavor sauce would you like on the Y sized order???

    wait for it >>>>>>>>>>

    IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
    Me: well we have theses flavors <lists flavors AGAIN for the 10th time>
    IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
    Me: < just wanting to say "I am sorry you are TOOO FUCKING STONED TO ORDER FOOD and hangup> <Lists sauces AGAIN>
    IDKWIA:HOT BUFFALO.

    Me: <gives total and hangs up ASAP>



    Are you SURE you understand spoken American English????

    At the same time I am ripping my hair out on the above order the GM is taking this gem from someone else who is quite brain dead.

    GM <standard phone scrip greeting>
    IDKWIA: Delivery
    GM: OK can I get your phone number?
    IDKWIA: Bob
    GM:OK you name is Bob. May I get your phone number please??
    IDKWIA: BOB
    GM: Yes I have your name. May I please get you Phone number PLEASE????
    IDKWIA: <finally gives phone number>

    I REALLY want a phone electrocution device.........
    I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
    -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

    "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Racket_Man View Post
    IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
    Ok, one order of wings coated in pure capsacin oil. Got it.

    Quoth Racket_Man View Post
    I REALLY want a phone electrocution device.........
    You and me both.
    "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

    Comment

    • #3
      We had geniuses who would respond to "may I have your phone number please?" with "Yeah, large pepperoni, large works and some breadsticks..."
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

      Comment

      • #4
        Any more questions as to why it is called dope?
        Seriously, RM, that post would not be out of place as one of Cheech & Chong's 70's stoner acts.
        Last edited by taxguykarl; 05-19-2015, 05:28 PM.
        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

        Who is John Galt?
        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

        Comment

        • #5
          Scientists theorize that true interstellar travel may be impossible due to the distances and our understanding of physics, and that the only way distant civilizations could ever hope to find and communicate with each other is through telecommunications.

          If an alien race out there ever picks up what WE talk about on the phone, they're going to hang up and write us off as amoebas with funny mannerisms and keep on dialing.....
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Argabarga View Post

            If an alien race out there ever picks up what WE talk about on the phone, they're going to hang up and write us off as amoebas with funny mannerisms and keep on dialing.....

            That'll take several eons before they find any other intelligent life out there . . . if they're lucky.

            Hell, they probably watch us from wherever they are and laugh at us. To them, we're a living sitcom.
            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

            Comment

            • #7
              Probably. Just as long as we don't get cancelled...>_>
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth EricKei View Post
                Probably. Just as long as we don't get cancelled...>_>
                So far I've not seen anything online about us being cancelled by the network.

                Of course, I'd love to be able to rewrite some of the plot lines and eliminate some cast members. . . .
                Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                Comment

                • #9
                  IDKWIA: Yeah I want WANGS
                  Me: they come in x,y,z size
                  Really naughty jokes in three, two, one...GO!!
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                    That'll take several eons before they find any other intelligent life out there . . . if they're lucky.

                    Hell, they probably watch us from wherever they are and laugh at us. To them, we're a living sitcom.
                    The fact they have not contacted us proves they are intelligent.
                    "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

                    Comment

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