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  • The Rules

    I wrote the following two months ago. I did not post it, because I wanted some time to refine The Rules, and see if any new ones occurred to me. As it happened, five more did pop into my head, two as I was typing this up today. Now, after many edits and much refinement, I feel comfortable posting this now, keeping in mind that, like anything else in life, this too can be improved upon at a later date (Rule 21). Without further ado, here are my Rules, and how they came to be:

    The Rules

    Anyone who watches NCIS knows that Gibbs has his Rules. Even if you don't watch the show, it's easy to understand: the main character has rules he applies to his life and his job, and those who work with him often apply those same rules to their own lives, or come up with their own versions of rules.

    I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few years, and the other day, it all came to a head when I put down my own Rules in my own list. I figured I'd come up with about ten if I was lucky.....my list ended up being 30 Rules without any effort, and since then, nothing new has cropped up in my little brain. So, while I can always revise this at a later date, these seem to be my core Rules. I present them here for your entertainment. This is not meant to be preachy, nor a suggestion that anyone else should live by these Rules, but if you feel like they would work in your life, by all means, use them. But I present them more to hopefully help others come up with their own Rules, whatever they may be. If you do come up with your own Rules, take some time with them. Don't just rush them to paper or keyboard. These are, after all, Rules by which you live your life.

    Regarding my own list, some of these you will recognize from some of my posts. Some of them may be new to you. Some are very important in my life, and some are just amusing guidelines, but regardless, they are all Rules that have guided my life for some time. Enjoy!

    Jester's Rules:

    1. Every day of your life, you learn something new.*
    2. Protect those you love.
    3. You can find something positive in anything.
    4. Honesty and sincerity will get you further than lying and being fake.
    5. Always move forwards, never backwards.
    6. Never get involved with your friends' exes.
    7. Always be specific when you lie.**
    8. Never have less than $40 in cash with you.
    9. Never go anywhere without a knife.**
    10. Not an eye for an eye. A head for an eye.
    11. Always be willing to try new things.
    12. Be a gentleman and a bastard, and know when it's time for each.
    13. Price does not denote quality. Only quality does.
    14. Life is too short for cheap booze or cheap food.
    15. If you don't like your situation, change it.
    16. Don't assume people can't get any stupider. They can and they will.
    17. When something jumps off the menu at you, order it.
    18. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.**
    19. Women are crazy. Men are stupid. There are no exceptions.
    20. Sometimes you need to ask for help.
    21. There's always room for improvement.
    22. You can't change people. Only they can.
    23. Bacon, beer, garlic, and rum make everything better.
    24. When in doubt, just smile and nod.
    25. Politeness and respect will get you further than being an asshole.
    26. Fuck with me and you will reap the whirlwind.***
    27. Always drink at your own pace.
    28. Always be willing to admit when you're wrong.
    29. It's better to be efficient than lazy.
    30. It's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done.
    31. If you break it, fix it.
    32. Never leave the game until it's over.
    33. Cooking is an art. Baking is a science.
    34. Adjust to the situation. It won't adjust to you.
    35. Learn from your mistakes, and from those of others.

    *I learned this in 1982, and have been applying it and various corollaries of it to my life ever since.
    **Yes, these were blatantly stolen from Gibbs' Rules, but I've found them to be very applicable in my own life. In a nod to Gibbs, I have these rules in the same numbered slots on my list as on his.
    ***Okay, technically this is not so much a rule as it is an observation of what happens to those who fuck with me. So this is basically my own rule for others. And it's been proven over and over again. Because people rarely observe Rule 35.

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    Three more that I like:

    1. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    2. If it works, it's right.
    3. Something can be organized but not neat, and something can be neat but not organized.
    Last edited by Ironclad Alibi; 07-27-2015, 11:43 PM. Reason: Renumbered
    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

    Comment


    • #3
      Can't really argue with any of those, but will comment on some.

      #1,2 & 4 Hell yes.

      #9 That's why I have a skinning knife under the seat of my car. If I get a wild turkey or bigger while driving - and I really hope not bigger, because I really don't want to go car shopping, I want to be able to take care of it, for dinner.

      #10 The late PM of Israel, Golda Mier (sorry if the spelling is horribly wrong, booze club time) had a philosophy, "do on to others as they do on to you, plus 10%".

      #16, mostly why I'm in the Booze club. Oh, shit, the Benton County Fair is in a week, I will need booze for dealing with that. The weirdos and prostitots will be out in full force there.

      #19. & 23 Yep

      # 27, yes, even if I'm on vacation.
      "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

      Comment


      • #4
        Avoid lying. That way you won't have to remember what BS you said.

        If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.
        "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

        Comment


        • #5
          Every day, learn something, teach something, make someone smile.

          Related to 'the situation won't adjust to you':
          Don't wait for the storm to pass. Dance in the rain.

          Also, the four below in my sig.
          Seshat's self-help guide:
          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

          Comment


          • #6
            One I heard a guy at work say, that actually "covers" several of these at once:

            "Work for your reputation, so your reputation can work for you."
            Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

            Comment


            • #7
              It is better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt...
              The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                36.
                37.
                38.
                Remember, you're supposed to come up with your own rules, not merely tack on more to mine, since not all of my rules will necessarily apply to you.

                Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
                #10 The late PM of Israel, Golda Mier (sorry if the spelling is horribly wrong, booze club time) had a philosophy, "do on to others as they do on to you, plus 10%".
                Meir, pronounced "my-EAR." I agree with her philopsphy, if not the particualr percentage.

                Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
                # 27, yes, even if I'm on vacation.
                Especially when you're on vacation, because vacation is about enjoying yourself, and trying to keep up with someone else's faster pace, or slowing yourself down to someone else's slower pace, is hardly fun. Hell, the first one can result in you not remembering much of your vacation, and what fun is that?

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

                Comment


                • #9
                  1 When you feel tempted to try to understand somebody's logic.. remember there may be no logic to be understood.

                  2 Just because something works for one person, doesn't mean it will work for all.

                  3 When your best friend advises you to not poke the bear, you might want to listen.

                  4 Hold no grudges, they are worse for you then whatever revenge you might get on the person you are holding the grudge for.

                  5 Life is too short, make the most of it.
                  Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Jester View Post
                    Remember, you're supposed to come up with your own rules, not merely tack on more to mine, since not all of my rules will necessarily apply to you.
                    OK. I renumbered them.
                    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                      OK. I renumbered them.
                      Just file off the serial numbers and paint it. -- L. Long, Periphrasticus.
                      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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