Night... er... Day at the Museum

[manybellsdown]

So, I've got a volunteer position at a local museum. Here's some of the fun I have. Nothing super sucky so far, at least!

Yes it's real:
It's a museum. It's a museum mostly founded and owned by an extremely wealthy person. Our artifacts are real, or if they're not, it's clearly labeled as "reproduction." I'm giving a talk one our of our artifacts, a Very Rare Paper.
Me: This is the only Very Rare Paper in existence. <Insert further speech about the lengths we go to to preserve Very Rare Paper>
Guest: So, it's a photocopy?

Something New Everyday:
One of our exhibits features a large movie monster prop. This thing is at least 7 feet tall, and it's in a case which brings the whole thing to over 8 feet high. And this lady's son managed to throw his hat on top of it. So Movie Monster is basically wearing some kid's baseball cap. After I've called someone to deal with the issue we have this conversation:
Lady: Well, can you just climb up there and get it?
Me: (wondering how I'm supposed to scale the side of a rectangular glass case) No ma'am, but Security is on the way and they should be able to help you. Our cases are alarmed and they're the ones who can deal with this.
Lady: Our kids are hungry! We want to go to lunch! I can't believe this has never happened to you before!
Me: (Cheerful smile) oh, you know, something new everyday here at Museum!

And then I nearly died of shock:
I think I've mentioned the elevator debacle we have going on in our museum. One of our elevators travels freely between floors 1 and 2, but floors 3 and 4 are restricted by access code because the exhibit there is a separate admission. Well, we had a lot of trouble with people getting in the elevator on 3 and then getting dumped out of the exhibit (or stuck in the elevator!). So they put a sign on the wall above the elevator buttons. A sign which basically says "YAY ELEVATOR" in big letters and then "oh yeah it needs an access code please see staff" in tiiiny letters underneath. Which of course no one reads.

I'd just gotten finished helping an elderly couple in the elevator, and I came back to the Floor 3 Gallery to find another gentleman waiting in front of the elevator. He saw me and said "Pardon me, I'd like to take the elevator to 4, can you help me?" I thanked him for waiting for a staff member and he said the most shocking thing...

"Well, I read the sign."

I work THERE not HERE:
We got t-shirts that have the name of the museum and "I'm a Volunteer! Ask Me!" on them. I made the mistake of wearing this when I went to get lunch. Museum is located in a downtown tourist area with multiple attractions in a fairly small area. So naturally I didn't make it 5 feet before someone started asking me questions ... about a different attraction. Yes, I know I was standing by it, but that doesn't mean I work there, it means Attraction X was between me and lunch. Never making that mistake again.

[dalesys]

...I work THERE not HERE:
We got t-shirts that have the name of the museum and "I'm a Volunteer! Ask Me!" ... Never making that mistake again.

'Tis better to skip and go nekkid than wear branded garb...

[Gilhelmi]

"Well, I read the sign."

And people think I am crazy for holding onto my last thread of hope for humanity.

YOU CAN TAKE MY HOPE WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS!!!

[mjr]

So, I've got a volunteer position at a local museum. Here's some of the fun I have. Nothing super sucky so far, at least!

Yes it's real:
It's a museum. It's a museum mostly founded and owned by an extremely wealthy person. Our artifacts are real, or if they're not, it's clearly labeled as "reproduction." I'm giving a talk one our of our artifacts, a Very Rare Paper.
Me: This is the only Very Rare Paper in existence. <Insert further speech about the lengths we go to to preserve Very Rare Paper>
Guest: So, it's a photocopy?

Dear Guest:

Here's Your Sign.

[nutraxfornerves]

I volunteer at a small history museum. It is down the street from a large, world famous museum devoted to, let's say, cheese graters. We have a big sign out front that says "Blah Blah History Museum" followed by a list of the delights inside, not one of which is a cheese grater, a piece of cheese, a cow, or even a mouse. Each person coming in is greeted with "Welcome to the Blah Blah History Museum." The Cheese Grater Institute has even bigger signs all over the place, plus images of cheese graters on the outside of the building. It is very hard to miss.

We still get several people a day who come in and ask "Isn't this the Cheese Grater Institute?" Even better are the ones who buy admission, pick up a tour brochure, listen to the receptionist's spiel about the museum highlights, wander around the whole museum, then come back and ask "where are the cheese graters?"

[dalesys]

Dear Guest:
Here's Your Sign.

The sign needs to be on a T-shirt, with an up-arrow.

[manybellsdown]

I almost forgot the best story!

Once a week I go around to several different galleries and give a small talk on one of the artifacts in there. This is a fairly new thing the museum is trying out, and as I'm a regular volunteer with strong public speaking skills, they gave me the very first shift. (gulp.)

So the first day I'm in my first assigned gallery and it's a ghost town. There's one or two people in there the whole time. It's getting close to the time I'm supposed to round up people to listen to me talk and a big group of tourists walks in. Hooray! I won't be standing around alone!

One of the guys from the group comes up and asks me "What's there to see here?" So I start telling him about this specific gallery and he cuts me off "No, what's in the whole museum?" Uh, okay, well I tell him about the different exhibits we have, and then he wants me to point them all out on the map. And give him directions. As he's about to finally wander off, I tell him "By the way, I'll be giving a small talk over here by <Artifact> in a couple minutes, if you'd like to stay for that."

He looks at me, looks at the artifact. Says "...Nah."

And then they all leave.