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  • First chewing out

    So I got called into the bosses' office today. As I mentioned in another post, my ADD is screwing me up at work, and I've been making some mistakes, including a few serious (though not unfixable) ones. Today I got called into the boss' office for a talk (that's always fun).

    A little background: I've always been the oddball, first the stupid one in the class, then the worker everyone has to be patient with. Needless to say, I hate it. I tense up every time I sense myself screwing up, and just once I'd enjoy playing a role other than "village idiot."

    I've learned to use humor to cope, to help myself maintain emotional distance so I can actually learn from my mistakes rather than beat myself to an (emotional) bloody pulp so badly that I can't function.

    Well apparently one of my coworkers took my humor as flippancy. Said coworker thought I wasn't taking mistakes seriously, and apparently spoke to my boss about it. Actually, I think the boss was more upset about my perceived attitude and my not asking for help when I needed it (I've been trying to muscle through myself because I thought I should know everything already) than about my making mistakes.

    I choked up in his office, and assured me he'd be there to offer help if I need it, and to be careful about the biggest issue I've been having. I'm once again impressed by the quality of his leadership, but it doesn't make being the stupid girl (yet again) any easier.
    "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

  • #2
    Well, at least you're trying, and apparently it shows.
    You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem! --From Patch Adams

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    • #3
      Quoth WishfulSpirit View Post
      but it doesn't make being the stupid girl (yet again) any easier.
      You don't know how often other people are spoken to about things, nor what they're spoken to about. You simply don't have enough information to compare yourself to other people in this way. So no, you aren't 'the stupid girl yet again'. Rather, you're 'the girl who isn't handling mistakes the way the boss would prefer her to'.

      You haven't even been doing anything wrong; just differently from how your particular boss would like it handled. Now you have more information, and you can change how you handle mistakes to more closely fit with what your boss wants.
      Not having had that information, you couldn't do that before now (unless you developed telepathy!)

      So my advice is: take some deep breaths, slow down, remind yourself that it's not stupid to not know things.

      And in future, at work, when you realise you don't know how to do something, do what your boss said he wants you to do. (Based on what you said, I think that amounts to 'ask for help'.) And in future, if you make a mistake at work, again, do what your boss said.
      Seshat's self-help guide:
      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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      • #4
        Everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes doesn't make you stupid. If I remember correctly you are fairly new at this job. Even if you have experience in a similar field, you still have to learn new place's way of doing things. To use my job as an example we got some new bartenders this year. They had previous experience but serving food and drink on a moving train is a lot different from serving food and drink in a normal restaurant. It took a few runs for them to get into the swing of things.

        You'll catch on too. Before you know it you'll be the one people are coming to for help.
        Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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        • #5
          Thanks everyone for the consolation. I know I'm not stupid, but I AM learning disabled to the point that I always stuff something up. I take lots of notes during training, but it always turns out that the way training says to do something isn't the way we actually do it.

          In other news, boss-man bought me a soda yesterday. He didn't say so, but I think it was to reassure me that everything is OK as long as I own my mistakes and work on fixing them, which I'm doing.
          "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

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          • #6
            Quoth WishfulSpirit View Post
            I take lots of notes during training, but it always turns out that the way training says to do something isn't the way we actually do it.
            Well, that's not your fault, that's poor training. If you were in trouble for doing something the way you were taught in training, that would not be right.
            Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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            • #7
              Quoth notalwaysright View Post
              Well, that's not your fault, that's poor training. If you were in trouble for doing something the way you were taught in training, that would not be right.
              That wasn't what I was in trouble for, but it is something that tends to trip me up. In my current job, they're pretty good about "ok training said X, but we find it easier to do Y" and showing me the difference, but sometimes even here (and a LOT of times at other jobs) I've only found out "no, that isn't how you do it" by doing it the way I was trained and then being told otherwise after the fact. Sometimes I come up against things I was never taught about either.
              "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

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              • #8
                Quoth WishfulSpirit View Post
                I've only found out "no, that isn't how you do it" by doing it the way I was trained and then being told otherwise after the fact.
                And that's okay. I mean, no, it's not good that they trained you the way they DIDN'T want you to do it, but you did what you were trained to do. And that's the part that's okay.

                When - not if - this happens again, you can simply state that that's how you were trained to do it. Then ask how they ACTUALLY want you to do it, and write that down. (And write down the name of who is telling you to do it the new way, too, in case they're the one who's not doing it how the boss wants it done.)

                You don't need to - correction. You shouldn't ever need to defend yourself for doing things the way you were taught to.
                Some people are idiots and will make it so that you do; but even with them, keep in the back of your mind that you didn't do anything actually WRONG. Just nod and listen even if they're berating you, and bring the whole topic to your boss. Ask which way he wants it done, and tell him about being berated/shamed/whatever.

                Truly great, nearly superhuman, supervisors and bosses, on being presented with 'I was trained to do it way X and that's what I did' will simply thank you for doing it how you were trained to, help you correct any 'mistakes' (quotes intended) resulting from that, and teach you way Y for the future. And correct the training so the next new employee is trained with way Y right from scratch.
                The closer a supervisor or boss comes to that ideal, the more you should treasure them.

                Sometimes I come up against things I was never taught about either.
                In those cases, if you can possibly ask for help, do so.

                If you absotively posilutely cannot get help; do the best you can think of, then document document document. And report the situation to a boss or supervisor as soon as you can. And I mean the moment they come in (short of an emergency), tell them 'I need to clear something I did with you, can I have five minutes as soon as possible?'
                Seshat's self-help guide:
                1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                • #9
                  Well so far I seem to have the knack for dealing with problems. I pleased my boss by my response to a potential bed bug presence in a room today. We moved the guest, paid for their laundry and laundry supplies, gave them some clairitin, comped the room, and got her a reservation at another hotel if she wanted to go somewhere else.
                  "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

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                  • #10
                    I'd be pleased with that, too.
                    Seshat's self-help guide:
                    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                    Comment

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