So I got called into the bosses' office today. As I mentioned in another post, my ADD is screwing me up at work, and I've been making some mistakes, including a few serious (though not unfixable) ones. Today I got called into the boss' office for a talk (that's always fun).
A little background: I've always been the oddball, first the stupid one in the class, then the worker everyone has to be patient with. Needless to say, I hate it. I tense up every time I sense myself screwing up, and just once I'd enjoy playing a role other than "village idiot."
I've learned to use humor to cope, to help myself maintain emotional distance so I can actually learn from my mistakes rather than beat myself to an (emotional) bloody pulp so badly that I can't function.
Well apparently one of my coworkers took my humor as flippancy. Said coworker thought I wasn't taking mistakes seriously, and apparently spoke to my boss about it. Actually, I think the boss was more upset about my perceived attitude and my not asking for help when I needed it (I've been trying to muscle through myself because I thought I should know everything already) than about my making mistakes.
I choked up in his office, and assured me he'd be there to offer help if I need it, and to be careful about the biggest issue I've been having. I'm once again impressed by the quality of his leadership, but it doesn't make being the stupid girl (yet again) any easier.
A little background: I've always been the oddball, first the stupid one in the class, then the worker everyone has to be patient with. Needless to say, I hate it. I tense up every time I sense myself screwing up, and just once I'd enjoy playing a role other than "village idiot."
I've learned to use humor to cope, to help myself maintain emotional distance so I can actually learn from my mistakes rather than beat myself to an (emotional) bloody pulp so badly that I can't function.
Well apparently one of my coworkers took my humor as flippancy. Said coworker thought I wasn't taking mistakes seriously, and apparently spoke to my boss about it. Actually, I think the boss was more upset about my perceived attitude and my not asking for help when I needed it (I've been trying to muscle through myself because I thought I should know everything already) than about my making mistakes.
I choked up in his office, and assured me he'd be there to offer help if I need it, and to be careful about the biggest issue I've been having. I'm once again impressed by the quality of his leadership, but it doesn't make being the stupid girl (yet again) any easier.
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