Anyone know......

[KellyHabersham]

what the term "Friends with no benefits" means? I have a guy on Facebook who is interested in that sort of relationship with me, and that's not a term I've heard before.

[dalesys]

Sex without any commitment (other than friendship).

[KellyHabersham]

Well.......the guy specifically said "no benefits", so I'm not sure what exactly he meant. (He's someone I knew from church some years back, and has some mental/physical disabilities, so a lot of the stuff he says makes no sense)

[April]

Friends with no chance of sex ever? I've never heard that term either

[AnaKhouri]

According to the Urban Dictionary site:

A relationship in which two friends are practically dating but there are no sexual benefits.

[KellyHabersham]

Thanks much for that definition! That could be what "Jerry" (as I'll call him) was referring to, but it's hard to figure out what he's talking about sometimes.

Either way, I am NOT interested in being more than casual online friends with him......just not sure how to tell him that.

[lordlundar]

So in other words it's a "trendy" way of saying friends.

[rvdammit]

Could be a romantic but no sex relationship.

[KellyHabersham]

Could be a romantic but no sex relationship.

Well.....I think "Jerry" is/was looking for something sexual, because earlier tonight he said something about "playing with your boobs could be fun". I just told him I was not looking for that, unfriended him, and he's now blocked from contacting me on Facebook.

[AccountingDrone]

Well.....I think "Jerry" is/was looking for something sexual, because earlier tonight he said something about "playing with your boobs could be fun". I just told him I was not looking for that, unfriended him, and he's now blocked from contacting me on Facebook.

Then it sounds like he wants to neck, and do the whole above the waist stuff.

Though what I detest is the apparent current belief that a man and a woman can not be just plain friends with no sex interest between them unless the man is gay. How obnoxious. I have several male friends who are absolutely not in any realm of sexual possibility [and I just lost a friend of some 23 years who was one of those male *friends* that was absolutely not interested in me romantically, and I was absolutely not into him romantically, we shared common interests in the SCA, in guns, in food and in books and movies. He liked stacked thin blonds, and I like men who fit my husbands description. We just clicked as BFFs. I am not going to enjoy going to his funeral this week. ]

[KellyHabersham]

Oh, I agree it IS possible to have male friends who are just that......such is the case with a guy whom I used to work with at the library. (He's a great guy, just like a brother to me)


As for "Jerry", it's hard to explain things without getting into Fratching territory, so I will just say that I feel bad for the guy, but I can see him end up doing something inappropriate without intending to.

[Jester]

Though what I detest is the apparent current belief that a man and a woman can not be just plain friends with no sex interest between them unless the man is gay. How obnoxious.

I agree with you that it's obnoxious, but I disagree with you that it is something that is current or recent. I've been dealing with this shit for decades, as I have tons of female friends, two of whom are my very best friends.

When I worked at the brewpub, my best friend also worked there, and it got so ridiculous that she would introduce herself to new hires thusly: "Hi, I'm Neets, this is my friend Jester, no, we're not fucking." Yeah, she's about as subtle as I am.

Luckily, I'm in a relationship with a woman who's neither jealous nor stupid, and has no problem with my having many female friends, even close ones. She actually looks forward to meeting them.