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I love love love it when customers try to kill me!

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  • #46
    Quoth Slave to the Phone View Post
    I once bought a ceiling fan brush. It was shaped to slide over the blades and dust the top and bottom at once. It came with a warning label "turn fan off before use". Every time I used it, I envisioned someone who hadn't read the label running madly around in circles to try to dust their fan blades.
    And then, of course, there's the classic warning on a curling iron, "Do not use internally."
    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
    - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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    • #47
      My favorite silly warning is on the soap dispensers at my work; per the MSDS sticker, if you come in contact with the soap inside the dispenser, you need to "wash skin with soap & water" .

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      • #48
        The best one I ever saw was when I worked at the pet store. It was on some dog blankets: "Washable dog blankets. Caution - Remove dog first."

        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
        My DeviantArt.

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        • #49
          Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
          The best one I ever saw was when I worked at the pet store. It was on some dog blankets: "Washable dog blankets. Caution - Remove dog first."

          Rats. So much for multi-tasking.
          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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          • #50
            Quoth Deevil View Post
            My favorite silly warning is on the soap dispensers at my work; per the MSDS sticker, if you come in contact with the soap inside the dispenser, you need to "wash skin with soap & water" .
            What is in that soap?
            "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
            - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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            • #51
              Quoth Kanalah View Post
              I could put up a sign for my quilts that say they're free-range and gluten free
              From your previous posts about your customers, I'm sure the only part of the sign they'd read would be the word "free".

              Quoth CyberLurch View Post
              Shortly after my release from military service, I learned that this individual made the transition to commissioned officer.
              I'm not surprised. It's simply the military manifestation of the Dilbert Principle - promote the idiots to management to get them out of the way of the productive workers.
              Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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              • #52
                Quoth wolfie View Post
                I'm not surprised. It's simply the military manifestation of the Dilbert Principle - promote the idiots to management to get them out of the way of the productive workers.
                I know, but the military mindset is you are supposed to trust your superiors and follow their orders without question. Sorry, but when you have people pulling stupid stuff like that, it's hard to take them seriously as 'leaders'.

                But then, officers are commissioned by Congress, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

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                • #53
                  Quoth Seanette View Post
                  HOW did she manage to pass the licensing test, with an apparent IQ room temperature or below?
                  That's even more insulting here in Europe!

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                  • #54
                    Quoth Kogarashi View Post

                    And then, of course, there's the classic warning on a curling iron, "Do not use internally."
                    Ever seen Sleepaway Camp? It explains some things....
                    "Hi, this is Silver. How may I lose my self respect in order to cater to your over- inflated ego today?" --- Silverrb

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                    • #55
                      Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                      The best one I ever saw was when I worked at the pet store. It was on some dog blankets: "Washable dog blankets. Caution - Remove dog first."

                      I'd say the folks who write these kind of warnings are being wiseacres. They know it's stupid, and they have to do it, so they have fun with it.
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #56
                        Quoth Kogarashi View Post
                        What is in that soap?
                        I know carbolic soap can be a bit harsh if you don't wash it off, maybe it was that. You have to rinse it well or it can burn.

                        Also, around Maryland where I used to live, the gas pumps don't even say not to use your phone.

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                        • #57
                          Quoth Silent-Hunter View Post
                          I know carbolic soap can be a bit harsh if you don't wash it off, maybe it was that. You have to rinse it well or it can burn.
                          I know the original comment about making sure to wash the soap off was not entirely serious but... It's possible that the "soap" is actually detergent. Wonder why body wash isn't called soap? Because it's not. They put words like "moisturizing" on it, and it sounds more appealing. Once you start noticing this, it really stands out everywhere. Not saying it's evil or anything, but there is a difference, and I dislike the general marketing for these.

                          And back in the day, when people weren't measuring as accurately, and they were using homemade lye, sometimes the lye wasn't totally saponified. So that meant that some lye was left, and it could potentially burn the skin. Thus the idea that old fashioned soaps were harsh, and not as good quality. Of course, many people made soap very well, but not everyone. Nowadays, soapmakers add a little extra fat to make sure all the lye goes through the saponification process and there is NO lye left in the final product.

                          I need to make soap again.
                          Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                          • #58
                            They are real

                            Quoth XCashier View Post
                            I'd say the folks who write these kind of warnings are being wiseacres. They know it's stupid, and they have to do it, so they have fun with it.
                            Read the website "Darwin Awards", the things people do are so dumb you sometimes wonder how the human race survived.

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                            • #59
                              Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                              Nowadays, soapmakers add a little extra fat to make sure all the lye goes through the saponification process and there is NO lye left in the final product.
                              But there is plenty of lie in the advertising material.

                              Quoth Silent-Hunter View Post
                              I know carbolic soap can be a bit harsh if you don't wash it off, maybe it was that. You have to rinse it well or it can burn.

                              Also, around Maryland where I used to live, the gas pumps don't even say not to use your phone.
                              IIRC, "carbolic" means it contains phenol (a.k.a. carbolic acid), which is nasty stuff.

                              Before they replaced their pumps, the pumps at Flynn's truck stop in Massachusetts had warning labels on them saying that it was illegal to dispense gasoline into unapproved containers. Why is this odd? Read back to where I described Flynn's as a TRUCK STOP. Yes, these labels citing laws about dispensing GASOLINE were on DIESEL-ONLY pumps.
                              Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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