Autowash

[AyreBiskits]

this is from a friend of mine who works in the tech dept of our local cable company. these are her words, not mine (thank gawd - i couldn't work there and deal with the public like she does).

and so, her story begins...

working in customer service is challenging... add tech to that, and you get to talk to the crazies, the technically challenged, and the mentally challenged.

actual conversation that I had yesterday:
lady yelling at me "my cable hasn't worked in 3 days. it says to do an auto channel scan. I don't have an automobile, so I can't do this. I am tired of not having anything to watch and you BETTER fix it."
me, calmly trying to figure out how to handle this woman" it is an AUTOMATIC scan... you need to press the buttons on the remote to get your tv to automatically scan for the channels so that the cable box recognizes them and then you can watch tv."
her: "I don't care if it is an automatic or a standard... you are not listening to me... I don't have a car in my apartment and I wouldn't know how to scan one if I had one."
******me, still trying to figure out how to handle her and not "sound stressed" as my supervisor puts it... wondering if management hates me and is testing me...*****
"Do you have the remote that goes with the tv set?"
her: "yes"
me" what does the remote say?"
her "cable company"
me" I need you to find the remote that goes with the tv set."
her:" this remote makes the tv work, so it goes with the tv."
me:" what is the brand name of the tv set?"
her, after a lot more annoying stupid answers "it says "e-m-e-r-s-*-n"
me:"okay, it is an emers*n, do you have an emers*n remote?"
her: "I don't know"
me: "do any of the remotes say emers*n?"
her: "they all have a lot of letters, words, and numbers on them"
*****.. after a lot more of this... she finds the emers*n remote and I am trying to help her to do the auto scan...******
me: "do you see a menu button?"
her: "more letters, words and numbers"
me: "can you please read them to me?"
she reads a lot of buttons and I stop her at menu, and have her press the menu button, which doesn't do anything...
me: "this may seem like a dumb question, but are there BATTERIES in the remote?"
her : "nope, I have never had to put batteries in this remote before and I am not about to now."

... seriously, people ARE this stupid.....
wonder what would happen if she met the man who told me that his cable box does not run on electricity and I was to stupid to understand how that works... and they had kids...

[TheSHAD0W]

m(_ _)m m(_ _)m m(_ _)m m(_ _)m m(_ _)m

<gives chocolate chip cookies>

[Ironclad Alibi]

And here I was expecting the other autowash.

[MoonCat]

Bluescreen! Oh, wait, let me reboot my brain...

Oh god even I'm not that dumb! (usually)

[little_miss_springfield]

her: "I don't care if it is an automatic or a standard...

What...huh...????? Why would anybody think their car has anything to do with their tv? These things aren't related. At all.

I just don't understand the way some people think, and I don't want to.

[notalwaysright]

Oh god even I'm not that dumb! (usually)

Heh, you added that usually. Let me tell you a little story and you decide if I'm on the same level as the OP.

This morning at about 5:45, operating in a daylight savings fog, I tried to get gas. The silly pump wouldn't turn on. I kept trying, and finally the screen said to lift the lever. No, I thought, this gas station doesn't use levers, they have buttons! Wait, where's the button? Wait. I'M AT THE WRONG GAS STATION.

[Teefies2]

Is that a young Dax Shepard? <squeeee>

[Sunshine]

Good god. And yes, that's indeed Dax

[Seanette]

I do appreciate this one, since I now feel a lot less stupid after a two-fer yesterday (I was the guilty party).

First, misremembered what time a class was supposed to start, got all stressed about getting out of work in time to get to campus, class started 30 minutes later than I had remembered.

Class also didn't start until Wednesday, and I was trying to go to same on Monday.

[Jay 2K Winger]

There was a phrase I once heard to describe people like this woman.

What was it?

Oh yes!

"Rock-crunchingly stupid."

That hurt my brain just reading it.

[XCashier]

lady yelling at me "my cable hasn't worked in 3 days. it says to do an auto channel scan. I don't have an automobile, so I can't do this. ...
her: "I don't care if it is an automatic or a standard... you are not listening to me... I don't have a car in my apartment and I wouldn't know how to scan one if I had one."
...
her: "they all have a lot of letters, words, and numbers on them"
...
me: "this may seem like a dumb question, but are there BATTERIES in the remote?"
her : "nope, I have never had to put batteries in this remote before and I am not about to now."

There was a phrase I once heard to describe people like this woman.

"Rock-crunchingly stupid."

It's worse than that. It's willful stupidity. She brings up nonsense about a car despite the fact that it has nothing to do with the TV, she claims there are "a lot of letters, words and numbers" rather than just reading the darned thing, deliberately refuses to listen or put batteries in the correct remote. She is willfully choosing to say and do the wrong things. Unfortunately, customer service workers are not allowed to call out and shame people who choose to be this way.

I'm pretty sure she knows she is wrong, and refuses to do what is necessary because she wants someone else to come over and fix her problem for her. Sadly, the only one qualified to fix her real problem is a brain surgeon, and they don't make house calls.

[wolfie]

me: "this may seem like a dumb question, but are there BATTERIES in the remote?"
her : "nope, I have never had to put batteries in this remote before and I am not about to now."

... seriously, people ARE this stupid.....

Or they're still using an ANCIENT TV and remote. The old "clickers" (don't think they've been made since the '70s) didn't take batteries. The buttons operated spring-loaded strikers that would hit a tuning fork which resonated in the ultrasonic range, and the TV would "listen" for the appropriate frequencies.

There was a phrase I once heard to describe people like this woman.

What was it?

Oh yes!

"Rock-crunchingly stupid."

That hurt my brain just reading it.

I thought the phrase was "rock-chewingly stupid".

[CyberLurch]

I thought the phrase was "rock-chewingly stupid".

I prefer rock-GNAWINGLY stupid, myself.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Why come you don't have a tattoo?

[Nunavut Pants]

...The buttons operated spring-loaded strikers that would hit a tuning fork which resonated in the ultrasonic range, and the TV would "listen" for the appropriate frequencies.

Oh, I remember those! My grandpa had one many many years ago. (Like, 40 years ago!) It was amazing that he didn't need me to get up and change the channel for him any more.

Better yet, though, when the phone would ring, the channel would change on its own about three or four times! The bells in the phone were just the right frequency range...