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Idiots and horses, never a good combo.

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  • Idiots and horses, never a good combo.

    This is one from my job as a horseback riding instructor.

    A little bit of bg info is necessary. The barn I work at, for this job anyway, caters to the rich and privileged. The kind that think that magic happens when you throw enough money at it.

    This story involves two bratty boys (the sucky customer family) and one of my more awesome students.

    My awesome student (AS) has only been riding a few months but despite her family being ridiculously wealthy her parents made it clear on the first day that she is to be doing her own tacking/untacking and grooming and not to let her shove it on some stable hand. Which I respect and support. She's a hard worker and I don't have to yell at her to correct stuff. Remind her occasionally but I've never had to read her the riot act because she's doing something unsafe after I've told her to stop. She's 12 years old.

    Then there's the boys. Spoiled rotten little brats. Keeping in mind that these are 1200lb animals that can kill you for a single mistake and there's not a hell of a lot I can do on the ground if the horse really decides it's had enough. First of all I usually have them warm up doing light work. Walk, trot, transitions, circles and the like. This is for the animal's safety in that just like any athlete starting cold can lead to all kinds of injuries. But it's also for the rider's safety in warming up their own muscles and getting a feel for the horse under them. Horses have bad days same as humans and you can usually tell pretty quick if ones feeling lazy, normal energy, or really wants to kick up its heels and play dump the rider. Part of this too is to get the riders used to paying attention to the question the horse gives. Knowing the animal underneath you is getting tense, and be able to feel it, is always useful for things like preventing them spooking at some scary object they've been eying up from across the ring. Then I get the students to do more difficult things some of which will target particular weak points. Using the horses whither a as a way to keep valence isn't that much of a problem at the walk or even the trot but by doing that you pull your body forward setting the horse off balance. If you tried to go over a jump like that at worst it's uncomfortable for horse and rider. You might catch them in the mouth with the bit because you didn't give proper release or the horse might stumble on landing or refuse to jump all together. I always make sure to point out these things. If the horse stops before the jump at the position, especially since the boys can't keep their freaking heels down, they will likely fall off. Most of the time you won't even bruise. But if the horse then decides 'okay I'll jump now' or they land badly? There's easily the possibility for breaks and not all breaks are as easy to fix as a busted arm.

    The problem started when I had AS riding in the ring finishing her lesson as the boys came down (loudly and disrespectfully) sans their horses (because they expect someone else to do the hard work and sadly this barn allows for that). Meanwhile my AS is jumping a course at the lowest 3'0" and the highest jump was 3'6" which is exceptional given her age and experience but like I said she's a hard worker and listens when I correct her. She still makes mistakes and the course was deliberately designed in such a way as to look intimidating but not be all that difficult in and of itself. Which made her want to look down at the jump instead of counting the horses strides and adjusting accordingly (a bad habit of hers which throws both off balance) and to have lots of turns forcing her to look ahead to keep from being surprised and getting a run out or refusal. She had taken it as a personal challenge and had done admirably for her level.

    Of course the boys only cared that she was allowed to jump and I wouldn't let them. Despite that they had been there longer. And made a fuss.

    As a precaution (because of some of the other they've pulled) I started pulling the jumps down when they entered the ring and got on. They know my rules and they know what they should have been working on was their individual warm ups. Instead I hear giggling idiots and stupid one and stupid two take off at a fast canter to one of the jumps I hadn't pulled down yet. Lucky them they've got such good horses that tried to do what was asked if them. Idiot one got a long distance (the horse took off to early and from too far back) and then jabbed the horse in the mouth by not giving a release over the jump (happens sometimes your just surprised like that) and yank back on the reins on the landing making the horse stop and rear slightly in protest. (How would you like it if some came and pinched you hard every time you tried to fix their screw up?) The other horse stopped before the jump and just as predicted went flying. I had to pull idiot 2 out of the way because he had landed to close to the other horse and I was worried with all the dancing around that horse was doing that idiot 2 would get kicked or stepped on, which is much worse then jostling his potential injuries. He wouldn't walk away from a crushed head I can say that much. And then I tried to get the other idiots horse under control for him. I told them that given their actions they were no longer welcome to ride today and that I would be sitting down with them and their parents with the barn manager.

    Now they may have forgotten but I certainly haven't that I video all my lessons. Partly because it's easier to see a mistake from the ground then one then horse (especially as a beginner) and partially because of the I just witnessed. It's in the contract and the waiver they and their parents signed.

    Meanwhile I've got the horses under control and handed them of to a groom that I radio in so I can walk idiots 1&2 over to the medicals to deal with. Protocol says I have to notify the parents which I do, to much screaming on their part. They come storming down to the stables where we all meet up in the managers office. Apparently the boys have already fed them some bs excuse about not wanting to teach them and not being fair so after the kids are finished and the parents have stopped throwing a fit I show them the video. Hard to argue with evidence isn't it brats? I know the owner of the barn and the manager go pale likely because they know all too well how differently things could have turned out.

    (Put it this way, the average horse at the canter travels around 16-27 km/h. Compare to a car going 50 km/h with a seatbelt airbag and all those fun safety features... Fatalities are 51% hitting a solid object. Keep in mind falling off a horse you don't get the animal to take the brunt of the impact, you get take the full force. There's no airbag to keep your face from getting smashed in or to keep your neck from bending at strange angles. There's also the chance the horse might trample or kick you. Cars are made of metal and designed to withstand impact. People are not. The ground is an immovable object that is comparable to the wall in crash tests but unlike a wall that might crack and give way the ground isn't moving... Just a fun fact. Stat taken off of http://members.optusnet.com.au/carsa...eeds_jan07.pdf after a quick look to get numbers)

    The manager and the owner basically turned around and told them they weren't welcome. Which they then responded to how it was their right to receive instruction and maybe if I had been a better teacher... Blah blah blah. I asked permission to use another video. One taken from my own days as a young rider and that I had the family's permission to use when they found out I was instructing. It shows me and a fellow rider warming up over a simple 6stride line. Less then a ft high. It shows us both doing the line from both directions until my friend came at it with her heels up and her horse stopped. Which I pointed out is exactly what had happened to idiot 2 only he hadn't known what the :hell: he was supposed to be doing in the first place and she had years of experience. She fell, landed on her neck and severed the spinal cord from the base of the skull on impact with the ground. Internal decapitation. She was dead instantly. Which got the father off my back at least as he finally realized that this is a sport with very serious potential for injury and being a good rider won't keep you from harm. Accidents happen and at 1200lbs on the small side those accidents tend to be proportionally worse.

    But the mother wouldn't stop screeching about how that couldn't happen to her sons because they're SpEcIaL and I just don't understand them. That if 'some little girl' could jump why couldn't her boys? Despite the fact that I pointed out that the 'little girl' in question was one of the best riders I've seen in a long while especially given her age. I had to call the kid (and her parents since she's a minor) so I could get their permission to use the tape of their kids lesson since I generally give them the memory card with their lessons on it at the end so they can see what they're doing wrong. But she had gone home already so the parents were nice enough to drive back (I love that family) and we watched the two videos side by side so I could point out the right and wrong ways of doing things.

    Still the mother insists that she's going to take me and the stable to court because of everything from refusal to teach the brats to 'ireparible psychological damage. Oh and for the dislocated shoulder that are on site medic hand bandaged and iced but wasn't qualified to deal with. Let me point out that instead of taking the brat to a walk-in or the hospital to deal with the injury that they had been informed about, they decided to through a fit. I left after that to thank the other family for coming down out of their way and to do something that wouldn't be punching stupid people in the face.
    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

  • #2
    My mother (1930-2013) grew up a ranch where horsepower was a living fact. I remember her dad (1892-1982) telling how terrifying it was to have a team of Belgians run away with a mowing machine. Trying to stay on a springloaded steel seat inches above a snarling cutter bar.
    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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    • #3
      Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
      Which they then responded to how it was their right to receive instruction.
      I... just can't. You read a lot of things on this site, but the stupidity never ceases to amaze me.

      When I was a kid I had riding lessons. Both from my neighbor, and from an official place. I was always responsible for mucking out the stall and dealing with the tack. Though for a while I was too little to put on the saddle, lol. Anyway, I feel like kids raised around large animals often have good temperaments. After all, a horse doesn't care if you throw a tantrum, does it? I know, I know, it's not fool-proof or anything, and obviously I'm thinking more of kids raised on farms, not kids who go to a fancy stable for a few hours a week.
      Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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      • #4
        It's amazing to me how many people think they can impose their will on something that weighs as much as a motorcycle, and has TEETH.

        Imagine your car had sentience, and the personality of a cat.... that's learning to ride in a nutshell.

        Anyone who's worked around horses for at least a couple years has their fair share of injuries, and that's just the ones who aren't trying to antagonize the poor things.

        (Mine is the middle finger on my left hand. It deflects to the left slightly at the last joint, not noticeable unless I line them all up and it clearly is curling behind my ring finger. Slipped and fell under my horse in a bathing stall when he spooked and reared, came down on my left hand, only the rubber mat I was on kept it from breaking)

        These nitwits are lucky to be alive and I have no sympathy.

        Can I take their place? I promise to be good....
        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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        • #5
          you cant fix stupid... People with lots of money think because they have money they can get what they want. Second if I had been told my son has a dislocated shoulder I would have told you all me and my husband will be back with out the kids after we have his shoulder looked at. PEOPLE!

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          • #6
            I assume the parents never heard of Chris Reeve? I'm not sure the mother would appreciate her dinkums become that special...
            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
            I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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            • #7
              The sheer level of both entitlement AND stupidity here astounds me. Mother and brats don't seem to have a clue as to just how badly this entire episode could have turned out.

              You have every right to toss these people out without a refund. And no sane lawyer would take their case but I'm sure they can find some ambulance-chasing bottom feeder to do so...

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              • #8
                I used to work on a thoroughbred farm (this is racing country) and even not riding, just leading horses around, I managed to strip skin off my hands and arms, lose toenails, get bruised up by flying hooves and one co-worker had his jaw broken while holding an x-ray plate by a back leg. I have ridden (and fallen) before too and it's not fun. Good for your manager kicking these morons out, it's better than a lawsuit.
                https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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                • #9
                  Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                  This is one from my job as a horseback riding instructor.
                  *snip story*
                  I've got it easy compared to you. A maintained gun doesn't have an bad mood. Got to respect the horse. You gave all the reasons.

                  Of course we know if they can't respect the animals they won't respect people.
                  AkaiKitsune
                  Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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                  • #10
                    But an idiot with a horse can't kill someone a hundred yards away.
                    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                    • #11
                      Yeesh. For the sake of those kids, I really hope Mummy Dearest wises up, and quickly! O_O

                      Last time I was around horses was when I was taking basic riding lessons at our local public stable at City Park, circa age 9 or so...which was *aHEMmumble* years back I learned to wash the horse they trained me on, do the tackle, etc, and -- apparently -- handle and ride her well enough to get Honorable Mention at a class show ...But, most importantly, I learned proper respect for the lovely big ol' critters. These boys need to do so at their next stable ('cuz you know Mummy will insist!)

                      I do remember one time when she "got away from me" as I held on for dear life as she got bored with trotting around and decided to head for the jumping course. She did a few leaps before we settled her down again, but hey, no harm, no foul, in that case. Damn you, Tinkerbell. You scared the hell outta me o_O
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                      • #12
                        Quoth wolfie View Post
                        But an idiot with a horse can't kill someone a hundred yards away.
                        Yeah, nice horsie can trot over and do that all on it's own for oats and whinnies
                        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth dalesys View Post
                          Yeah, nice horsie can trot over and do that all on it's own for oats and whinnies
                          When my family still owned the farm (sold in 2006 ), there was a large horse farm on other side of the highway. Most of the horses were bred and sold to the Amish. For those of you who don't know, Belgians are very large, very strong horses. Ornery critters too--they've been known to find ways at getting out of their pens, and they can (and sometimes do) take down gates and fences. While they're usually docile and tend to run from strangers...a 3,000-pound plus critter isn't one you want to mess with
                          Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                          • #14
                            I used to go horse riding at a very good stable, with little patience for spoiled brats (and their kids!) One girl I remember thought she was a fantastic rider, due to her stupid mother buying her a horse that went like clockwork and all she had to do was sit there. Let's call her Rachel. She came to the riding school after outgrowing the clockwork horse, and there her terrible riding was revealed. Now, Rachel's stupid mother had been teaching her up to this point, and had been teaching her badly. For example, Rachel learned that the correct jumping position was to lean back over the jump.

                            Rachel could not get the horse she was allocated to do anything. Said horse was an Irish draught cross named Ebony, who I had ridden for a while before being upgraded to an American Quarter Horse named Bill. Rachel could not get Ebony to canter, so she threw a tantrum, blaming Ebony for her own failings. I volunteered to demonstrate how it was not Ebony's fault, but Rachel's, so while the instructor held Bill for me, I got on Ebony and rode her round the school, got her to canter easily and did a figure of eight (pulling up to change legs as I could not yet do a flying change). Rachel's face was a picture. She could not think of a word to say.

                            At the gymkhana a week later, she entered for everything and came last at everything. She tantrumed and wailed, and was given a special rosette to shut her up. Eventually, her mother bought her another clockwork horse for her to sit on and she left the riding stables to go back to being taught by her mother and unlearning all the good that she'd been taught at the stables. No-one missed her.
                            People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                            My DeviantArt.

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                            • #15
                              My wife grew up as "beta mare" in a herd. She sometimes mopes about her college education (funds) "disappearing down a horse's gullet". Evidently one of the reasons that folks who own stables have kids is for the free labor...

                              She keeps telling me that you cannot out-muscle a horse, because it is so much bigger than you. So you have to out-smart it. The bad part is, I have a strong suspicion those big things are smarter than me, too...
                              “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                              One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                              The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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