So I'm making one of my many trips to Home Depot (tis the season!) and I'm cruising the tool aisle looking at routers, bits for them, etc, and about to leave the tools area when I found a reason to loiter at the levels. It seems there was a line (one of) at the self-serve U-Scan stations. Nothing out of the ordinary. What made me stop was a woman and her husband who had been standing as though watching the other people scanning suddenly move up to the scanner nearest them and begin to scan!
They completely avoided the line. This pair were straight out of the trailer park handbook of fashion, too. She had one of those "wife beater" undershirts with a black, unadjusted bra, loose shorts and no reason to show any midriff after the forty or fifty donuts she had eaten that morning. I'm sure they were in the larval stage a couple hours ago, but those donuts had gestated in to full on fat handles of the sumo variety. Her husband fared no better with a white (bobsy twins, anyone) shirt proclaiming his blind following to Harley-Davidson with a red NASCAR cap and short, dirty blonde goatee. Actually, they were both dirty, and I mean just literal dirt and smears on them.
In any case, as I saw them move up and what made me stop to listen was how another fashion victim, though black, was at the head of the long-existant line attempted to educate her poor sister in threads. The conversation was something like:
NW: Nascar Woman
NM: Nascar Man
RPW: Rightous, Patient Woman
RPW: Excu-use me. Hello? There is a line here.
NW: *ignore mode activated*
RPW: Hey, Bitch! I know you can hear me. You think you're too good for the line?
-I'm thinking, "crap, it's on now!"
NW: No, there are two lines.
RWP: Oh no, there's one line and it's here. You can't just walk up there.
NM: Why don't you just shut up?
NW: Yeah, who cares? We waited.
RPW: *looks to the clerk for help. Clerk is staring very intently at his monitor.* Bitch, scan your shit before I whip you. (NW and NM were already scanning within 2 seconds of getting to the machine).
Sadly, no claws were produced. The people in line behind RPW were starting to get in to it, too. I saw NW and NM later as they were cruising to the exit (by way of the sales) and in a glance at them, I could tell they knew they knew they took advantage of the situation and were just looking for a fight.
Ah, the excitement of HD. I've got to make a trip there now.