Stupidest question of the Millennia.

[bob the goat]

I’m new here, so I have a ton of old stories just itching to get out. Years ago I used to work at the One Hour Photo lab at the Grocery chain Meijer (for those of you not lucky enough to have one around, Super Walmart and Super Kmart were based on Meijer).

The SC in question walks up to the counter and calls me over. Since I don’t have a photo, let me paint a mental picture for you. I’m standing there wearing a white dress shirt and red vest, complete with name tag that reads “my name is bob, Meijer One Hour Photo”. I lean on the counter that has a 2’x3’ placemat that has the same “Meijer One Hour Photo” logo on it. Below the counter is a 8 foot long banner that has the same “Meijer One Hour Photo” logo. Above us on is a 2 foot tall 15 foot long red neon sign that says “Meijer One Hour Photo”.

What is the question the SC asks?

“Yall make pictures here?

My reply (without missing a breath): “Nope, that is the meat department. We only sell beer here.”

[IT Grunt]

Quoth bob the goat

“Yall make pictures here?

My reply (without missing a breath): “Nope, that is the meat department. We only sell beer here.”

Here's your sign.

[Foxglove8778]

Welcome Mr Goat. I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. How did the customer react?

[bob the goat]

Quoth Foxglove8778

Welcome Mr Goat. I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. How did the customer react?

They looked at me dumbfounded and walked away.

[Kilamon]

Quoth bob the goat

They looked at me dumbfounded and walked away.

As Bill Engvall will tell you, he was once standing at an elevator, having pushed the button and waiting. The building had several sets of elevators. A guy walked up and asked Bill, "Are these the elevators that go up?" To which the only reply can be, "No, these ones go side to side. The up elevators are down the hall to the left."

Same reaction as above.

[zzapp the witch]

When I was a kid my favorite MAD magazine bits were the "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" so of course good Bill fits right in my idea of entertainment.

[CrazyCashierGuy]

Quoth bob the goat

I’m new here, so I have a ton of old stories just itching to get out. Years ago I used to work at the One Hour Photo lab at the Grocery chain Meijer (for those of you not lucky enough to have one around, Super Walmart and Super Kmart were based on Meijer).

The SC in question walks up to the counter and calls me over. Since I don’t have a photo, let me paint a mental picture for you. I’m standing there wearing a white dress shirt and red vest, complete with name tag that reads “my name is bob, Meijer One Hour Photo”. I lean on the counter that has a 2’x3’ placemat that has the same “Meijer One Hour Photo” logo on it. Below the counter is a 8 foot long banner that has the same “Meijer One Hour Photo” logo. Above us on is a 2 foot tall 15 foot long red neon sign that says “Meijer One Hour Photo”.

What is the question the SC asks?

“Yall make pictures here?

My reply (without missing a breath): “Nope, that is the meat department. We only sell beer here.”

Our chain can't help it, the idiots just love us it seems.

[uknz76]

If any of you have ever been on a cruise, you probably heard the 10 stupidest questions heard on board. Unfortunately all of them are true. After spending three years at sea these are my favourites that I was atually asked (In no particular order);

10: Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?
(Duh!)

9: What do you do with the ice sculptures after they melt?
(How do you like your iced tea?)

8: If the casino is R18 can my 15 year old play?
(Sure, in 3 years)

7: Do these stairs go up?
(Only at the bottom)

6: Do the crew sleep on board?
(No, the helicopter brings us in every morning)

5: If the ship sinks, what part goes down first?
(The Bottom, but does it really matter)

4: On a cruise from Jacksonville, Florida
What type of money do they use in Key West?
(For those who don't know Key West is in Florida, USA)

3: How can I tell which photos are mine?
(The ugliest ones)

2: What altitude are we at?
(Ever wonder what 'Sea Level' means)

1: What time is the midnight buffet?

and a bonus, not a question but:
People going to the gym in exercise gear - taking the elevator!

[JustADude]

Quoth uknz76

2: What altitude are we at?
(Ever wonder what 'Sea Level' means)

My general response to that, in complete and total BS, would be as follows:

Hmmmm... *mutter*distance of deck from keel, minus the submersion, factor in the extra thick carpeting*/mutter*... You are currently at 128 feet, 4.2 inches!

Accompanied by much wiggling of fingers and fake mental tallying. The ones that just had a brain-fart will laugh, and the idiots will be impressed by my massive brain!

[rvdammit]

Quoth uknz76

and a bonus, not a question but:
People going to the gym in exercise gear - taking the elevator!

I know the logic behind this one; if the exercise is measured in the gym it doesn't count.