Kids and cell phones

[LewisLegion]

So apparently the SCs were out in force today at my local grocery store. I went in after work to pick up some ground beef for the dogs and as I'm walking around all I can hear are these kids SHOUTING. All over the place. One pair of preteen girls is walking down the main aisle, looking for their parents. I know they're looking for their parents because they're shouting "MOM?? DAD???' as they're going along.

Now, I don't know about you, but growing up looking for my parents in a store I simply walked quietly along, looking down each aisle as I passed until I spotted them.

The reason these pre-teen girls wanted their parents is because they wanted to know if they could buy popsicles and this rubber ball they'd gotten out of the bin. When they found their Dad they demonstrated the need to have the rubber ball by showing how magically high it could bounce.

Loundly.

Repeatedly.

Of course, Dad did nothing to correct this behavior at all.

So I'm trying to tune this out when I hear shouting like a drag race is taking place in produce.

Oddly enough, a drag race WAS taking place in produce. I kid you not. I've written fiction since I was old enough to know my ABCs and I cannot make this stuff up.

Two fathers were in produce with six kids between them. One had one of those kiddy carts made to look like a Beetle car. There were four kids in this 'car'. The other father had one of those tandom strollers.

THE FATHERS WERE RACING EACH OTHER.

In a packed grocery store. The one with the stroller kept popping wheelies too, to make the kids scream even louder. OMG I was ready to start throwing melons at them just to get them to stop.

I escape to the registers, which are full. I'm waiting behind two full carts and a woman with a basket that had about six small things. She's on a cell phone. This is important.

Someone makes a comment about the shouting kids. The cashier laughs and says "I know, and I'm stuck here."

She had my sympathy.

The two carts get checked through. Belt moves forward. I start unloading my stuff as the cashier starts ringing in Cell Phone Lady (CPL). Gives CPL her total. CPL does not have enough cash.

Does not hang up the phone, of course, since it seems to have mutated onto her head.

She looks at the screen as the cashier asks if she wants to take anything off. She says 'tomatoes'.

Cashier takes the tomatoes out of the bag, voids them off, and puts them in the return cart. Lady is still about ten cents short. Cashier asks what next. Lady says 'jalapenos'. Cashier unbags, voids. CPL pays, gets her receipt, and edges around to the bagging area.

Cashier greets me and starts scanning in my items. CPL suddenly interrupts her phone conversation to blurt, "Where did you put them?"

Cashier: "I'm sorry?"

"I wanted the tomatoes and the jalapenos and to leave the other stuff."

Poor cashier apologizes, makes some half-laughing comment about the customer being on her cell phone and how perhaps she shouldn't be, but customer of course is back in her conversation and does not hear the comment.

Cashier finishes putting me through, I pay and apologize. I put my debit card away and go to grab my bags which becomes a contortion act because CPL is standing DIRECTLY in the way and makes no motion like she hears as I say 'excuse me'. So I bend and reach around her to get my things.

Poor cashier is now voiding out CPL's order so she can ring in the tomatoes and jalapenos and remove the other items. Meanwhile, she's got a long line which has now been joined by the Drag Racing Fathers and their Screaming Spawn of Death.

I shake my head, and escape out the door. I spend a few minutes loading my stuff into my car, getting my ipod set up on my radio, etc. etc. Start the car, put it in reverse, look behind me....

...and there's CPL, clutching the bag of precious tomatoes and jalapenos, standing directly behind my car and shouting oblivously into her cell phone.

I honk after a moment or two, thinking how fortunate she is I'm the kind of person that LOOKS before they back up (and how unfortunate the world is because of the same) and she doesn't even blink! About thirty seconds later she wanders on her way toward her car.

I swear, if I ever had notions of working in a grocery store for any reason, this single trip cured me of them forever. Oy.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Ah yes, that breed. The kind that cannot be disconnected from their phone for even one second because to do so will cause instantaneous death or something.

...actually, that's not a bad idea...!

My most recent job, I was all too familiar with that scenario. I wanted to hurt very badly the idiots that would come through my line glued to a phone and couldn't be arsed to do much anything besides gab on their phone about shit that was so very not important. Bad enough I had to deal with people in the first place; people with cell phones make me want to

[Sliceanddice]

Im sorry but im sure i would have taken her cell and hung it up for her.
I cant stand them, but i luck out on not being behind them in line. Mostly because my usual store is like the bermuda triangle cell reception....

God forgive the woman who does that infront of me.

[iradney]

Quoth LewisLegion

.
...and there's CPL, clutching the bag of precious tomatoes and jalapenos, standing directly behind my car and shouting oblivously into her cell phone.

I honk after a moment or two, thinking how fortunate she is I'm the kind of person that LOOKS before they back up (and how unfortunate the world is because of the same) and she doesn't even blink! About thirty seconds later she wanders on her way toward her car.

Forget Honking, I would've revved my engine VERY loudly with the reverse lights on (and the handbrake up). I've only had to do that once (hehehe, they nearly wet themselves), You're in a frakking PARKING lot. Which is full of CARS. You do NOT have right of way! Farking idiots...

[JustADude]

A Ludacris song came up on the ShoutCast station I was listening to, right as I was reading about CPL, and it nearly made me nearly fall out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

The title? "Move, Bitch"

[Becks]

Ooooh, I'd like to see a drag race in the produce department. That would be hilarious!!!!!!

Quoth LewisLegion

I swear, if I ever had notions of working in a grocery store for any reason, this single trip cured me of them forever.

Working in a grocery store isn't ALL bad. (See some of my posts in "Things I'm not allowed to do at work".)

[LewisLegion]

ROFL That's funny, Justa. Reminds me of something that happened at work the other day. I have a station for my ipod on my desk. This turned out to be a particularly long and grueling day, but when I plugged my ipod in on random the first song it pulled up and started playing was 'Chain-Gang'.

The last song that started to play as I logged off to go home? 'The long day is over' by Norah Jones.

[katie kaboom]

Quoth JustADude

A Ludacris song came up on the ShoutCast station I was listening to, right as I was reading about CPL, and it nearly made me nearly fall out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

The title? "Move, Bitch"

thanks for that. it's always fun to snort coke out your nose.

[myswtghst]

Quoth katie kaboom

thanks for that. it's always fun to snort coke out your nose.

Better out than in, I always say...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So I'm trying to tune this out when I hear shouting like a drag race is taking place in produce.

Oddly enough, a drag race WAS taking place in produce. I kid you not. I've written fiction since I was old enough to know my ABCs and I cannot make this stuff up.

Two fathers were in produce with six kids between them. One had one of those kiddy carts made to look like a Beetle car. There were four kids in this 'car'. The other father had one of those tandom strollers.

THE FATHERS WERE RACING EACH OTHER.

In a packed grocery store. The one with the stroller kept popping wheelies too, to make the kids scream even louder. OMG I was ready to start throwing melons at them just to get them to stop.

Ah-WUH?!

I know that would be entertaining to watch, but Jesus Christ Eating Reddi-Whip From the Can while Riding a Coin-Operated Pony, there are people around!

People who can get hurt and hire lawyers. And kids who can end up the hospital!

If I really wanted to be evil, I'd slyly push my cart into their path and recreate a pile-up that routinely happens at Daytona or Talladega (yes I watch Nascar, no I do not apologize for doing so). I bet next time you act like human beings and not a pack of sugar-crazed orangutangs.