Things you never hear anywhere else

[MystyGlyttyr]

Working in the newsroom, I very often hear sentences that would NEVER be heard in the outside world, at least not without some DAMN good explaining. And I'm willing to bet that's the case regarding other lines of work. What things do you catch yourself saying or overhear that would give you GREAT PAUSE, if only you weren't at work at the moment.

My examples:

"I want the dead baby for the weekend." (regarding a story in line to be run)

"We've already done meth twice this month." (also a story, LOL)

"Break and enter *BRZZZZZZZZZZZTCRACKCRACKCRACK* DAMNIT!" (usual noise from the police scanner)

"Oh God please let him be dead." (long story short, we were alarmed to find out an obituary we'd run hadn't died yet-BIG NONO. We were checking/hoping to see if he was. ...he wasn't.)

"We...can...name...her oh shit are the sprinklers still on?" (reporter making notes for a story and getting sidetracked)

"Have you killed Mr. Smith yet?" (referring to a story about Mr. Smith being "killed" meaning the story was to be deleted)

I'm sure I could come up with a dozen more once everyone gets up here. What are some of the ones you guys have?

[Horsetuna]

In their want for the 'jackpots' on some games, it seems they dont care if they get sucky cards.

Player gets a King

Dealer gets a Nine.


Player starts asking for a two (to get the jackpot payout of 3-1 on his five dollar sidebet, as opposed to asking for an ace or face card so they can win on their fifty dollar main bed).

[Acolyte]

McDonalds:

'The meat's up, go grab it!' (Well, OK, I'm betting this is said a lot. Just generally not in front of a few dozen people.) Unless you're into that sort of thing.)

'Do you want a boy toy or a girl toy?' (Although the Happy Meal toys are becoming less gender-specific)

Computer Shop:
'Nuking it will solve most of your problems.' (In reference to the 'Nuke and Pave' special, customer-dummy-talk for formatting your HDD and reinstalling Windows)

[trunks2k]

When testing a program at work, I got a pop up that said "You need a License to Kill in order to terminate this child" (child process, but they left off the process part). Further down the line the program had a list of stuff on the screen, most of which said I didn't have a license to kill and to talk to the administrator to get one. I asked my boss whether I was secretly being trained for the CIA. Our department had a funny dicussion if we should allow the program to be delivered to the customer with the license to kill messages.

-"I think it's funny."
"But it's unproffessional!"
-"But it's funny!"
"It's a big corporation, they'll be pissed!"
-"BUT IT'S FUNNY!!"