Dear....

[Food Lady]

Dear Random Dude in Parking Lot (and everyone else who does this): It's rude and creepy to stare at people. Stop it. I took the trash out--so what?? I don't know why that is soooo interesting to you, unless your life is that boring. I hate being stared at, and it happens at least twice a week. It makes me feel self-conscious.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Dear client I take calls for,

You can stop dicking us around now. Seriously, enough. It's not funny, and even in this climate of not being able to find new jobs, you're going to lose some good people because of all the stupid little hoops you make us jump through. I could put up with the crap from the company I actually work for, and even your sucky customers, if you weren't piling on even more suck.

Signed,
If I were single I'd quit and just take my chances out there...

[fireheart]

Dear self,

Please remember to charge your laptop BEFORE your university lecture at 9am, not as soon as you get to uni! Kind of embarrassing....

[MistressOfTangents]

Dear (not) Depression, Go The Fuck Away .. NOW.

No love, a very depressed MOT.

[Food Lady]

Dear Mom: I know you are trying to be supportive, but please stop being ignorant. My being vegetarian doesn't preclude me from getting enough protein. I probably consume more than you do. I know you're trying to help, but please stop blaming my blood sugar issues on it. I had those when I was an omnivore.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Dear crystal wine glass that broke in the sink earlier this evening:

Thank you so very much for taking a small chunk out of my finger when you decided to let loose of your chunk of the side of the glass. I can't remember when I've had so much fun trying to cook dinner with an open bleeder that finally stopped after an hour of holding my arm over my head while trying to keep continuous pressure on it after bleeding through 2 band-aids.

But it's okay though . . . I still have 11 more of your siblings in my cabinet here and two others at my sister's apartment. I always like to keep a couple of extra for future breakage (and if didn't happen to me, it probably would have been my Mom.)

At least I don't have to yell at anybody tonight over why one of my glasses got broke.

Sincerely-

DGoddess

[Food Lady]

That much blood sounds like you should've had stitches. Hope it doesn't get infected!

[Mishi]

Dear Mother-in-law:
If someone has not one, not two, but THREE AVOs... he is never going to be a good role model for a little boy. Especially when one of those is from his own mother! He will never change and I think you're insane for being happy that such a violent person is looking after your grandchild on an ever increasing basis.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear Netflix:

Your radio commercials with the game show contestant giving off the wall answers to questions? They're quite possibly the most retarded thing I've heard ever, and I've heard Rebecca Black sing.

Hire a different ad agency.

Irv.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Quoth Food Lady

That much blood sounds like you should've had stitches. Hope it doesn't get infected!

it's healing up. Looks much better now than it did when it happened, that's for sure.

And no, I didn't go to the ER . . . if it had been worse (if for example, I'd cut the finger almost completely OFF) then I would've.

Dear Charlie-

Yes, you are a sweetheart and yes, we love you dearly. But could you please confine your shedding to the great outdoors and NOT inside the house?

It's no fun dragging out the vacuum cleaner almost daily b/c you insist on not only jumping up on my bed every night but also taking up MY side of the bed and having to vacuum off the loveseat and the carpet in both the office and dining room.

And at the rate I'm going I may run out of duct tape to get all that hair off the clothes after I've gotten them out of the dryer by the coming weekend. . .

Sincerely-

Your new mommy