Ventting !!!!!

[flyinghi]

ok I just need to vent about a situation involving a job search and my parents..

first so background .... I have Cerebral Palsy a VERY MILD form of the condition basically on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd be a 1.5 tops!! After a couple od surgeries and more years of therapy then I care to remember all that is noticeable to the everyday person is that I walk with a slight limp kinda like someone with a knee injury which is how I play it off when I dont want to explain things fully.

I am NOT Handicapped I am has fully able bodied as anyone else I might not be able to win a gold medal in the Olympics but I'll be fucked if I cant do my job ANY job as well or better then the next person.

Now to the issue at hand...My parents insist I mark myself as being handicapped ( or a person with disabilities if you prefer) on job applications in order to guarantee myself a cushy job at the federal govt .

I completly refuse to do this for reasons that should be obvious to them. I have worked long abd hard my whole life to not me pigeon holed as the guy with the bum leg or pitied because of a minor defect I never wanted anything more then to be a normal person to measured on equal footing with everybody else. I refused to mark myself as being handicapped out of principal! not to mention the fact that my taking part in such a program may take up a spot that should be filled by some one more deserving of it. To me that is no different then me getting a disabled sticker for my car so I can park in handicapped zones It's just not right!!!!


You would think that my parents would realize this and not push the issue, Sadly, they dont. My dad especially gets angry at me for "not helping myself" um Hello? I'm busting my ass in college so that I can get a job a want on my own merits and with my own accomplishments Isnt that helping myself?

I love and respect my parents dearly but they just dont seem to see how hurtful and insulting this is to me Not to mention the battering it gives my already spotty self esteem


so I ask you am I being short sighted and letting foolish pride get the better of me ? or should I stand my ground?

thanks

[monolayth]

I say stand your ground honey.

And kudos for overcoming things.

[tropicsgoddess]

I second that!

[Rubyred]

Definately stand your ground.

My younger bro has Cerebral Palsy (he also has a very mild case..but it was 10x worse when he was younger). Theres no reason to put "handicapped" on a job application. He lays tile for a living and he does just fine.

[Saydrah]

I work for a website that focuses on disability and social networking within the disability community (see sig link, my blog's on the employer's site), and I can tell you with absolute certainty that identifying as disabled is NOT the easy job and meal ticket your parents think it is; I think you know that, but maybe you need that knowledge reinforced. I see many members on our website- even those who held government jobs- asking questions about discrimination, wrongful termination, and civil rights in the workplace. Perhaps identifying yourself as disabled would guarantee you a job in the government, but would it guarantee you fulfillment, opportunity for advancement, freedom from harrassment and discrimination, or the chance to pursue a dream?

If not, you don't need that stinking job, and you can and should tell your parents so- and keep doing so until the day when you have a fulfilling job that you love.

[Andara Bledin]

I wonder if, perhaps, taking a hurt, "are you saying I'm defective?" sort of approach might bring it home to them.

^-.-^

[flyinghi]

Thanks for the support!!! it really does mean alot thank you

using the guilt response wouldn't work since they're not saying I'm handicapped ( I hope and pray they don't) they just see checking that little box on the application as an open door for me to walk through and get a "job for life" with a very good salary In their mind they see it as a white lie that will pay off huge for me

For me it's more of wether or not I'd be able to look at myself in the miror if I applied as a handicapped worker I dont think I could do it

[ArcticChicken]

Damn straight you should hold your ground. You've worked your ass off to get to where you are, to get people to accept you for you, not for some disease. Checking the handicapped box would say that the Cerebral Palsy is the most important thing about you, and that all your hard work doesn't matter.

Have you spoken to your parents about how they're making you feel? Spelled it out exactly? It might make them back off. Just try to keep in mind that you're their baby, and they want the best for you, even when they don't know what it is.