Dumb Car Stunts.

[Jester]

A lot of discussion has been going on here about cars, so I was wondering, what are some of the dumb things you've done in a car? And no, Raps, I don't mean leaving a bra there!

I got my first car, the Urban Assault Vehicle, on two wheels (the right hand ones) once, purely unintentionally, as I was driving somewhere with my friend Boog. I pulled over and we both just breathed for a while afterwards.

Also unintentional was when I had the right rear tire blow out on my Shadow Turbo AT 80 mph in the desert between Phoenix and L.A. The tread from said tire actually whipped around the rear of the car and cut deeply into the left rear tire, ruining it for all intents and purposes. Didn't know that until I got into the service station. My first clue something was wrong was when my car started bouncing.

Yes. Bouncing.

The rear end, to be specific. Bouncing. Hard. Up and down. At 80. I take a lot of credit at being able to control that damn car and pulling over, and changing out the right rear to the donut, and then limping (at 35 mph or so) along the shoulder for 15 miles until we got to the next exit with a service station. Which is when we found out about the second tire. While the tires were being replaced, the three of us went across the road to the bar there and each had a beer. We NEEDED it, as all three of us were freaked the fuck out.

Purely INTENTIONAL was when I got my mom's car airborne.

Yes. Airborne. As in not touching the earth.

See, when I went to visit my parents in NJ in 1989 for the summer, Mom let me use her Toyota Corolla, as long as I got her to and from work. And near Mom and Stepdad's home was an interesting intersection. Going one way it was straight, but the other way, there was a small rise and then a huge downhill. Having driven over it, I knew the car was prone to rising at that point. So I decided to take it a step further. I went to that intersection, floored the Corolla, got what few guts it had going, and hit that intersection.....AND I FUCKING FLEW!!!!

Didn't tell Mom about that one until MANY years later. She was, of course, rather unamused.

This was the same Corolla that I put the first scratch in years earlier, two days after Mom brought it brand new. I used to meet my mom at a shopping center a few blocks from my high school, as we had moved from the high school town to a new town, and I was finishing up the school year at the first high school.

Anyway, these two assholes used to hassle me a lot, and this particular day they were hassling me on my walk to the shopping center. At the time, I was even scrawnier than I am now, weighing in at a non-daunting 120 or so. And I was not nearly the God Among Men I am now. I was only 15, the same age as my niece's boyfriend that I threatened today. Anyway, so they were hassling me, and I was getting annoyed. I got to my breaking point right as Mom pulled up. I grabbed the one dude by the head and SLAMMED his head into the Corolla's trunk. Second dude took off like a shot, Head Slammer followed him as soon as he picked himself up off the ground. Dudes never hassled me again. Corolla got a major scratch in the trunk lid from that, and Mom wasn't thrilled about it (did I mention she had had it for all of two days?) but she did like the fact that I stood up for myself, even if she didn't like the violent way I did it.

I was not the driver, but when I was 17 I found myself, on New Year's Eve 87/88 in a piece of shit Chevy Chevette out in the desert at a bonfire party wheeling around the desert, four wheeling. Oh, and the Chevette in question had only one of the four brakes working, and the clutch cable was crap. Hell, we had to get SOME use out of it, right?

Then there was the time I was driving back from Tucson with MacGyver. This was a dude I knew from college. Everyone called him MacGyver because of his amazing ability to fix things. He broke into the Ms. Pac Man machine in our dorm lobby and recalibrated the machine to our requested specifications. Dude was GOOD. Anyway, MacGyver had a white Chevy Celebrity, former cop car, with the cop car engine. We had been down in Tucson visiting some chicks we had met (long distance booty call!), and on our way back, he let me drive.

Did I mention it had the COP ENGINE?

So I've got the thing wide open, at 140 mph. Driving 140 on a highway is about comparable to doing 70 in a parking lot. The cool thing is that cars would see that cop car grill in their rearview and move over to their right to let us by, not realizing that we weren't actually cops until after we had blown by them. So, while I am tearing up I-10, MacGyver is upside down in the passenger seat with his head under the dash, trying to fix the stereo, which was giving him fits.

Amazing. An entire thread about cars, and not one mention about sex. Well, that just won't do. Not only did I have the greatest quickie ever with Blondie in the back seat of my Shadow (I was well into my 20s before I ever had sex in a car, mind you), I once had sex with her on the hood of her ancient Dodge Dart out in the middle of the desert. THAT was awesome.

My 18 month trek around the country has been mentioned enough in these forums, so I shall end this thread with the wise words of Stuart Scott:

BOO YAH!

[RichS]

The only dumb thing I did that comes to mind right away , is in my college days. I had a little Chevy Cavalier wagon going too fast for the conditions (~60 MPH with1/2 ft. of snow covering the road). That, and the lighter rear end of the wagon, put the car into a 360 degree turn.

Lucky that no one was in the opposite lane, and that at the end of the turn, I was still in my lane, going the same direction at roughly the same speed. It was even though the turn didn't happen. I slowed up for the rest of the trip home, and I know I didn't sleep well that night.

Oh, and there's my first car - a '77 Chevy van with a '74 steering column, which had about 1/2 " of slack while turning, and only the front brakes working. Driving that was an adventure.

[Jester]

I did forget to mention the times when I was 15 and stole my mom's Corolla to go joy-riding. At 3 in the morning. On highways. With no license and no real clear clue how to drive.

No, she didn't find out about that shit until I was well into my twenties! (Same day I told her about the airborne adventure!)

[Mr. Rager!]

I'm surprised with going airborne you didn't do any structural damage to the car. Of course, you might not have been that high off the ground.

I baby my cars. So, nothing daring really for me. I had my SHO pushin 140+(guage only went up to 140, but I had 2500rpm to go before I was at redline). No, cop engine, don't need one. My GTP has hit its max at 124mph (computer limited).

I think the most fun was driving that Porsche 911 Turbo... no, I didn't get it to extreme speeds, but going 0-60 in less than 5 seconds brought a smile to my face.

Now, if you want dumb car stunt stories... talk to the man that owns the Porsche that I drove. He made his fortune (yes fortune) by turbo-charging his Porsches with such great success, that he was charging people obscene amounts of money to do the same to their Porsches. My grandpa.

Same person that would run from the cops and since he could get so far ahead of them, he was able to drive into other people's garages to hide from the cops.

[Jester]

Quoth Fashion Lad!

I'm surprised with going airborne you didn't do any structural damage to the car. Of course, you might not have been that high off the ground.

I didn't get that high, and the angle I landed at was perfect for the car. No damage. And I am relatively sure of this, as Mom had that car for many years afterwards, and gave it to my older sister who had it for several more years. With no problems.

Quoth Fashion Lad!

I think the most fun was driving that Porsche 911 Turbo...

Don't take this personally....but I SO hate you right now.

The 911 Turbo is my favorite car EVER.

So when my friend Pilot out in La La Land added to his fleet of cars with a 911 Turbo (black, no less) I hated him, too.

That is, until he told me he'd let me drive it next time I'm out there.

Now he's my bestest best friend!

[Mr. Rager!]

Quoth Jester

Don't take this personally....but I SO hate you right now.

The 911 Turbo is my favorite car EVER.

So when my friend Pilot out in La La Land added to his fleet of cars with a 911 Turbo (black, no less) I hated him, too.

That is, until he told me he'd let me drive it next time I'm out there.

Now he's my bestest best friend!

I wish he still had it. He actually sold it not too long ago. He picked up a Porsche Boxster, Carrera and an Audi TT. The reason why he sold the 911? He didn't like the black on black... he wants a white one with tan or gray interior. Nicer in the summer when he would actually drive it.

I grew up with fast, exotic cars. But, I don't get too daring in them.

[Evil Queen]

car surfing. 'Nuff said.

[Mr Slugger]

Getting a car airborne is fun. There used to be a road near my house that was built on marsh land. The road itself sank, but the pipes underneath it did. Needless to say if you went about 60 over this stretch of road you could get airborne multiple times.

My car is my baby though as well. Luckily I'm in a rental this week. And we all know what happens to rentals They gave me a dang minivan as a rental. The interesting thing is I didn't think a minivan could leave tire patches and I was mistaken

[draftermatt]

* Got my Ford Ranger Airborne through an intersection, in town.
How I didn't lose it on the landing or screw it up I'll never know. This truck would get airborne again months later when a van rearended me and pushed me into a drainage ditch. Truck flew, hit the ground, and even the cop asked me "How'd you keep that thing on all 4 wheels?" It was bad.

* Same Ford Ranger, drove at least 90+ (speedo went to 85, but I was well past that) down a stretch of highway swerving. Later I ran from the police on that same road, eventually got caught and given a ticket for 73 in a 55. I was waiting to go to jail.

* Got my Jeep Cherokee airborne on a back road bump many times. The last time I did it was the funniest because my friend was following me in his lowrider, saw me get air so he decided to try it too. He forgot I had a good 12" more ground clearance than him until he was in the air. Made a nice crunch, scratched the pavement and had some nice scratches to the underside of the truck.

* Pulled offroad in my Jeep and just did donuts more times than I care to count.

* Doing donuts in my Jeep in a snowy parking lot with the same friend in his same lowrider. I hit a patch of dry pavement, and my truck was suddenly on 3 wheels (He told me I had a wheel off the ground) I got the truck stopped, sat and caught my breath, checked my pants, and then drove off to work. He didn't mention it to me till like a week later.

* Same Jeep, driving down a dark twisty back road at around 60, had two friends hanging out the windows.

* My buddy (one of the one's hanging out the window) wouldn't let me into his car (70 Camaro) trying to be funny. So I jumped on the roof. He took off down the road. I held on good until he went to stop then I slid down the windshield. He let me in then.

* My Godfather gave me a rusted out 78 Trans-Am when I was 14 (I played with fixing it but ended up selling it at 15). I was driving through the back yard in it and spun it completely around. Dad was not amused.

* Riding in my (former) friends Jetta, he pulled the e-brake at a speed well above 60. That was a fun turn around.

* Same night, same Jetta he hit railroad tracks at around 70, got air and had to pull the e-brake to avoid running into traffic on the slide down.

I could tell some more stories about the friend with the Jetta that involve his El Camino, the Jetta again, or his lowrider GMC which he ran from the police through town for a good 30 minutes, got hauled off to jail, the whole 9 yards. But most I wasn't there for.

Of all the crazy stuff we did, I'm still the only one to ride down the road on the roof of a car.

[protege]

Let's see...first car stunt involved my crappy Tempo. I'm winding my way along one of the back roads at a good clip. I'd just had my wisdom teeth out, so my diet consisted of milkshakes for a few days. Anyway, there are two milkshakes on the passenger seat, strapped in with the seat belt.

As I'm coming through the last straightaway, the road dips a bit. Gotta love that mine subsidence. I hit that at about 45mph, the car dropped about 2 feet, leveled out, and then popped up 2 feet. As it's coming back up, one of the milkshakes got loose...and hit the windshield Didn't make a mess, but it made me go

I got the Tercel airborne at least once. First time was coming back from the hobby shop. About halfway home, the route goes up a seriously steep hill. Halfway up the hill, a road is cut across. Nice drop-off right there. Since there's no stop sign coming up the hill (stop there, and you'd *never* get started again ), it's pretty common for people to come roaring up the hill. Like most people, I came up the hill quickly...hit the drop-off, and felt the tires leave the ground. Didn't last long, since I was only a foot or so up, but still. Glad there weren't any cops around

Not much went on with the car while in college, other than stuffing 6 people in it, various trips up to Penn State...including a trip with a slipping clutch, and another with an 80mph run up the hill on Route 220. Then there's the time I took it on the highway...after said highway had been closed to a snowstorm. Even though the road was reopened the next morning, nobody was on it--plows had packed the snow enough, that it was just like driving on concrete. Keeping a steady 55-65 cruise was no problem. Didn't slide at all...until I got within a mile of school--I turned onto the main street, and promptly spun the car 180 degrees

That car was great fun on twisty back roads. Shortly before I got rid of it , I had a little fun with a local Mustang driver. Rather than pass me, like most redneck idiots, he insisted on riding my bumper. Since he wasn't in a V8-powered (an old four-cylinder version, IIRC) car... I dropped it into 3rd, and stood on it. The look on his face as I pulled away was great

I didn't pull any stunts with the Mazda, other than a 90-95 mph blast to Morgantown, WV. That was the night my then-girlfriend's mother was rushed to the hospital with a possible stroke. I have no idea how far it was...but it took less than 20 minutes I managed to piss off said gf about a week later. She was trying to apply makeup...as I'm enjoying the Zoom-Zoom factor to the fullest. Let's just say she looked like a circus clown when we arrived

So far, no stunts in the Corolla. Unless you count trying to get up an icy driveway or driving through flooded roads, that is.