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  • 2 Musical Funnies

    These are 2 incidents from my years in music retail back in the '80s and early '90s. I was working as an assistant manager in a record store at the time.

    1. The Michael Jordan Story.

    Me = Me
    Mgr = My manager
    CC = Confused Customer

    The year is 1988. Manager and I were at the register talking when the customer, an African-American woman, approaches. This particular store had a primarily African-American clientele, and this does play into the story.

    Me: Hi. Can I help you find something?
    CC: Yes. I'm looking for the new tape* by Michael Jordan.
    (Mgr and I exchange glances.)
    Mgr: Ma'am, Michael Jordan is a basketball player!
    CC: (annoyed) I know that! This is a different Michael Jordan! This guy is white!
    (Mgr and I exchange glances again.)
    Me: Are you sure you have the right name? Do you mean Michael Jackson?
    CC: (angrily) No, not Michael Jackson! I said it was a white guy!
    Me: (trying not to go there...) Do you remember what song he sings?
    CC: No, but I saw the video on MTV. He dances around and plays guitar.

    I think to myself..."Well, THAT narrows it down.
    Mgr and I throw out some more lame guesses and she leaves.

    The next day:

    Mgr and I are at register again. CC comes in with a sheepish look on her face.

    CC: Hi. I was in here yesterday...
    Mgr: Yes, I remember.
    CC: I found out what his name is. It's George Michael.
    Me: Ohhh....OK!
    I get her the tape of "Faith", she buys it, everyone is happy.

    We had a good laugh over that one after she left. Usually we were pretty good at guessing what the customer wanted based on the vaguest clues, but this one had us stumped because she said he played guitar. Now I don't normally think of George Michael as a guitar player, but she saw him holding a guitar in the video, so to her that = guitar player.

    *a tape is a cassette tape, for all you young folks.


    2. BAD ENGLISH!

    The year is 1989. I am assistant managing a different store in the same chain. I am alphabetizing the tapes and my manager is at the register nearby.

    A customer comes in. It's an Asian female. (Again, the nationality is relevant.)

    She approaches my manager and asks, in a very thick accent,
    "Who sing the song, 'When I See You Smile?'"

    My manager blurts out: "Oh, that's Bad English!"

    You should have seen the look of shock on the customer's face! It was priceless!

    My boss quickly realized what the customer thought and said, "No, no! That's the name of the band!"

    She runs and grabs the tape for the costumer and sent her on her merry way, and it was all I could do to hold my laughter in until she left!

  • #2
    That second one sounds great. One of those you had to be there moments I'm sure but I still got a good chuckle out of it

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    • #3
      Oh, brother.
      "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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      • #4
        She approaches my manager and asks, in a very thick accent,
        "Who sing the song, 'When I See You Smile?'"

        My manager blurts out: "Oh, that's Bad English!"
        AKA John Waite (the same guy who sang "Missing You") With A Horrible Hair-Metal Hairdo.

        Bonus Smiles and Ha-Ha's: In that one song Irene Cara sang from "Flashdance", I keep thinking she's singing "Take Your Pants Off And Make It Happen." What can I say, horrible music is inflicted on me at work.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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