Bi-Steptual

[Miss Conception]

I was working the help desk at the science library for a university (which is mainly used by masters/doctoral students). There were elevators about 10 feet in front of my desk, and for awhile one of them would occasionally get stuck on my floor and start opening and closing for about 5 minutes.

One day a woman gets into the elevator, and it started opening and closing. After the doors had opened and closed about three times, I began trying to help her:

*open*
(me) "The elevator will probably continue doing that for awhile."
*close*

*open*
(her) "Should I get out?"
*close*

*open*
(me) "yes"
*close*

*open*
She steps out and looks around for a few seconds before I began to continue trying to help her:

(her) "What should I do now?"
(me) "There are stairs just around the corner."
"But I want to go down."
"Our stairs go both ways ... they're bi-steptual."
"Where would I be then?"
"We're on the 3rd floor, if you went down one floor, you'd be on the 2nd floor."
"Oh. How do I get out?"
"The entrance/exit is on the second floor, would you like me to take you?"
"No! I can do it!" (she sounded rather indignant)

I would like to say that I managed that entire exchange with a straight face (minus the small smile on the bi-steptual joke). It was hilarious and a little disconcerting that she is one of our "best and brightest", lol.

[gaspode]

you've got stairs that go UP and DOWN!

[Balgram]

Bi-steptual is going to have me smiling and laughing to myself for a while, most likely when I use stairs.

Now people will think I'm crazy again.

[cinema guy]

That reminds me of Ghostbusters:

"Where do these stairs go?"
"Up."

[Jay 2K Winger]

It reminds me of a Bill Engval bit.

"I'm standing in the lobby of this building, I'm waitin' for the elevator, and this woman comes up to me and says, 'Are these the elevators that go up?'"
*pause*
"'Nope. These ones go side-to-side, the ones that go up are down the hall.' SHE WALKED AWAY. Heeeeeere's your sign."

[SG15Z]

Dude you have have stairs that go up AND down. Man, my store could only afford the stairs that go up unfortunately.

[Lady_Foxfire]

Well, to be fair, she might have been thinking that the staircase you were referring to only went between the third and fourth floors, and not to the lower floors. Not that I've ever seen a staircase didn't go to all the floors (unless one of the floors was restricted), I'm just saying it's a possibility.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Dude you have have stairs that go up AND down. Man, my store could only afford the stairs that go up unfortunately.

That's because they wanted you to work forever and never leave.

[the lawsmeister]

Well, to be fair, she might have been thinking that the staircase you were referring to only went between the third and fourth floors, and not to the lower floors. Not that I've ever seen a staircase didn't go to all the floors (unless one of the floors was restricted), I'm just saying it's a possibility.

Actually there is a shopping centre in Sydney where the stairs to the carpark are a bit like this. There's 2 sets of stairs that start only a couple of metres away from each other but one only goes to the odd levels of the carpark the other goes only to the even levels.
The stairs run next to each other and you can see the other staircase. So if you take the wrong one you can see the door that leads to your car but you can't get to it unless you go back into the centre and take the other staircase.
Of course the is also a ramp that connects every level but it still catches you out the first couple of times that you go there.

[JLRodgers]

Well, to be fair, she might have been thinking that the staircase you were referring to only went between the third and fourth floors, ....

I'm thinking that a library at my college (years ago) had some stairs that went from the lowermost floor to the topmost -- others went from the lobby to the second only -- some went from the lobby down only, others went only from that floor up a level or down a level/etc.

I actually got turned around there and the person said "don't worry about it - I work here and have gotten lost before" and he helped me down -- as we got lost in the process again LOL (well turned around).

[friendofjimmyk]

When I saw "bi-steptual" I thought of someone who attends both AA and NA meetings. (12-steps - two different fellowships)

[Miss Conception]

The main library at FSU has stairs that don't go to every floor, so I understand the potential confusion. It was just everything combined that has made it my favorite story .