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  • Things customer say...

    ...that I have to keep a straight face and answer as if their question were something not easily answered. Keep in mind, I work in at OfficeMax, which is an office supply store for those who might not know.

    If I hadn't been on this site and I haven't worked in a position dealing with the public, I would think these questions weren't real. But these were some that I got this past week.

    "Do you sell printer ink?" Nope. The whole wall of it you're standing next to is just to make it look like we do.

    "Do you have paper clips?" Nope. Paperclips have been banned.

    "Do you sell stapler refill staples?" Nope. You have to buy a whole new stapler that comes with one small strip.

    "Do you sell printer paper?" Nope. We sell trees that you have to make your own paper with.

    "Do you know where the pens/index cards/jump drives/blank CD's/'other misc products' are?" No, I only work here. I don't know where anything is.
    "We go through our careers and things happen to us. Those experiences made me what I am."-Thomas Keller

  • #2
    Quoth FuzzyKitten99 View Post
    "Do you know where the pens/index cards/jump drives/blank CD's/'other misc products' are?" No, I only work here. I don't know where anything is.
    I hated when things would get rearranged overnight or on my days off. I couldn't find ANYTHING.
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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    • #3
      Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
      I hated when things would get rearranged overnight or on my days off. I couldn't find ANYTHING.
      I make sure to tell customers this. It totally inspires confidence.

      "Yeah, last time I worked, that item you want was RIGHT here the last time I worked, but they like to re-arrange while I'm off..."

      But they are usually very sympathetic.
      you are = you're. not "your".

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      • #4
        Oh, the fun of saying, "The thermals are right over...well, they were there yesterday! Hang on a minute, let me find them. They moved them after I left!"

        "Where is menwear?"

        About three feet behind you. You walked past thirty feet of mens clothes to reach me to ask where the mens clothes were. I still don't know how I kept a relatively straight face.

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        • #5
          Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
          I hated when things would get rearranged overnight or on my days off. I couldn't find ANYTHING.
          I am mostly self-employed and only work at the hardware store 8 days per month. I've been there 10+ years so I pretty much know where things are but with 18,000 things in our inventory, I frequently have to ask one of the full-time guys where stuff is.
          I usually remark to the expectant customer that I'm like the primates and their food at the zoo. I swear they move stuff around so I won't get bored.
          "What did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?"
          -Eric Foreman That 70's Show

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          • #6
            I can see if it were a specific item the customer is looking for, but these are more general questions. And our store is set up a specific way, and the only product sections that get moved around are the clearance items and a couple of the end-caps. Otherwise the store is set up to stay the exact same with the same products in the same sections. Like the pen wall, which takes up a 7'x40' wall and you cannot miss it. That and the large 4'x4' hanging sign on the wall that says "Writing Instruments". And our store is actually a new style that is a prototype that the corporate office is trying out. If it proves successful, they will remodel all the older stores to look the same way.
            "We go through our careers and things happen to us. Those experiences made me what I am."-Thomas Keller

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            • #7
              Quoth simplyanother View Post
              But they are usually very sympathetic.
              They are.

              Or maybe we're just so cute they take pity on us.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

              Comment


              • #8
                I think my favourite is the lady who asked me where the washroom was. She was very indignant, as she easily located the men's washroom, and the handicapped/family washroom. But she was most upset with us that we didn't have a women's washroom. I had a very hard time keeping a straight face through her indignant utterings. Because when it was finally my turn to speak, I just pointed over her shoulder. The enterance to the women's washroom was directly across from the men's.
                Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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                • #9
                  Quoth FuzzyKitten99 View Post
                  "Do you know where the pens/index cards/jump drives/blank CD's/'other misc products' are?" No, I only work here. I don't know where anything is.
                  *SOB* They're resetting the store right now. I can't find ANYTHING! The worst is when they move something to another aisle temporarily, and then move it to another aisle, and I don't know if this is a permanent move or another temporary move. *shakes fist in air* KAAAHHHNNN!!


                  On the other hand, when a lady demanded to know where the peanut butter was I got to tell her she was standing next to it. That was fun.
                  The High Priest is an Illusion!

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                  • #10
                    I really have to resist uttering "Here's your sign," to some folks.

                    "Are you open?"
                    "Nope. The doors are open just to taunt you. Here's your sign."
                    I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

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                    • #11
                      KAAAAHHHHNNNN!

                      Nice Kirk reference! I LOL'd at that one!

                      My absolute favorite...

                      'Where are your sporting goods?'

                      Wait for it...

                      We are an entire 'sporting goods' department store...

                      I swear the inside of my cheek is raw from biting it when asked that question (to keep from laughing)
                      Just to cut off any helpful suggestions: This woman was not blind, nor disabled. She was just a bitch. - Boozy

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                      • #12
                        Ah, the old "where is ___" questions. I especially enjoy it when the item they're looking for is right behind them, or right in plain sight.

                        The "where is your women's restroom" question is one I get when I'm on the express register. For whatever reason, the little plastic cover over the Women's sign on the door is dirty -- on the inside, where we can't actually clean it -- or there's something that makes the sign a little difficult to read. So it's no surprise there.

                        I've come to recognize the puzzled look on some women as they head over that way, so I'll tell them "Last door on the right," and they quickly thank me and hurry off.
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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