More specific, please

[Rapscallion]

Odd that I get to post in here - not my normal posting grounds, but...

I got around to acquainting myself with some of the older emails other colleagues had answered in customer services this week. I came across this gem.

Can you send me some information?

We have roughly six thousand different products. We have documents that could give away trade secrets to competitors. We have leaflets about feminine hygiene. I could work out what my shoe size is compared to the average in the office...

It turns out that nobody had bothered answering him. We took the view that if he wasn't going to put in the effort, we shouldn't bother either.

Rapscallion

[Broomjockey]

I vote you send him the contents of the weird fact thread.

[Rapscallion]

On the other forums I run, we have an active thread about 44 pages long that started out as a "Hi there" post. It got pretty gruesome in a deliberate way halfway through, so I don't advise trying to find it.

That one would have been funny.

Rapscallion

[digilight]

What companies need is to actually make a product and call it information. Make it a play on words, something. Whether its a actual little crappy product or something written that means nothing other then sneezing frogs. At least it would give the folks who get these foolish requests something to giggle about.

[lordlundar]

Reminds me of some people (customers and co-irkers)

SC:It's busted.
ME:Care to be more specific?
SC:Well, it's busted.
ME:I need more info.
SC:I told you it's busted.
...

Sometimes I think being a dentist would be easier sometimes.

[Gurndigarn]

This reminds me of a story. I think I've posted it before, but here goes again:


I service coin-operated amusement devices. Video games, pinballs, cranes, and so forth. I got a call from this hotel one day.

"Your token machine is busted."

OK. This place has four token machines. Two in a little basement-like area on one side of the pool; two on a patio-like area on the other side of the pool. Also worth noting is that this place used to be a real lucrative place, but due to a few things that aren't worth mentioning, at the time of this story, revenues were down about 75%, and showed no signs that they'ld ever recover.

My response: "OK, do you know which machine?" Probably not; they don't think to ask the obvious before they call. But still, start at the beginning...

"No..."

"Well, do you know what the problem is?" Without an anwer to one of these two questions, there's a good chance you're not getting anything fixed.

"Nooo..."

"OK. Well, I'll stop by, but I don't know if I'll be able to find the problem, since you don't know where it is or what it is."

"The customer is right here. Would you like to talk to them?"

"Yes, could you please put them on?"

"Hello?"

"Hi. This is Gurndgarn; I service the equipment there. I understand you had problems with one of our changers, could you tell me which one?"

"Yeah, it's the one that gives out tokens."

"Yes... ma'am. Do you recall if it was upstairs or downstairs?"

"It was the one by the pool"

"Yes ma'am, they're all by the pool. So, you don't remember if it was upstairs or down? Do you recall the color?"

"Color?"

"Yes, was it brown? Black? White and blue?"

"I don't remember..."

Well that doesn't surprise me. Not just because this customer seemed clueless, but it's just something that doesn't latch on in most people's memories.

she continued "... look, you need to come down here and fix it. The pool is like a quarter mile away, and I'm not going down there to tell you about it."

It's more like 100, maybe 150 yards. But honestly, lady, I don't want you to go there. I just want to know which one.

"I understand that. I'm just trying to get information so--"

"You know, you're being rather unprofessional. I bet there are a lot of other operators who would love this account."

You remember that this place is running down about 75%? They can frickin' have it!


"Ma'am I'm trying to get it fixed I need the information so I can do my job. Really. Can you tell me anything about this changer?"

"It's the one by the tall token machine."

BINGO! "So, it's in the upper area, by the pool table, and it's a brown machine, next to the tall, black, flat-topped one?"

"No... it's in that area down the steps. By the candy machines."

Not so bingo. Both the changers in the lower area are the same size and shape. "By... the candy machine? There's a tall one there? Uh, do you remember the color?"

This continues a bit, Finally I decide to shift gears. If I know the problem, at least I can narrow down what to search for, and I'm down to only two changers. "OK. Can you at least tell me what the problem was?"

"It took my quarter."

Only one of those changers takes quarters! WooHoo! "Thank you, ma'am, that's exactly the information I needed. I'll be out there as soon as I wrap up what I'm doing here. Please don't use that machine again for an hour or two so I can fix the problem first. Can you hand the phone back to the desk clerk?"

Now, I wasn't really upset about the smallness of the complaint. I mean, I deal in small change: it's part of the job. But if she had just told the desk clerk "your machine stole my quarter", things would have been so much easier (quarter jams are easy to spot, and usually relatively easy to clear). She probably just said "you're machine is broken" with a "this will deal with everything" mentality. (And, incidentally, I shortened the conversation a bit. We did go around a few times trying to identify the exact changer.)

I did appreciate that she stuck around long enough for me to finally get the information. But I was amazed the line about competitors who would love the account. This place is not worth my time, so please, ma'am, go ahead. Make my day.

Oh, and that part about it being near the tall one? One of the two changers in the area had a sign mounted on a pole to the back part of it. That was the "tall one".