Advice / suggestions on getting a new dog

[persephone]

So Hubby and I have been discussing getting a dog for quite awhile. We have a cat, who is a bit older and never had a problem with dogs (my sister, his brothers and both of our parents have dogs that have visited our house, some for as long as two weeks, and Kitty was perfectly fine with them. He's actually REALLY good friends with my in-laws Great Dane.)

So I have a few questions and want some advice.

Both of us have owned dogs, both big breeds and small breeds. Personally, I like big dogs better (I don't know why, I just do) and would like to get a German Shepherd, Retriever, Lab or Collie. Yes, I know that these dogs vary in size, but those are the breeds (well, most likely actually mixes) we've been discussing. We have not had a dog in 4 years. I had a collie (that I'd had since I was 10) when we got married and she lived with us until she passed away 4 years ago. Daughter was 2. We haven't had a dog since.

Daughter is now 6. Son will be 3 in three weeks. We have a baby due in April (April 2nd, a girl). We live in a good sized house and have plenty of yard space in the back yard (the fenced in portion of our back yard is about a quarter of an acre). Our house is by no means a mansion, but we would not be putting a large dog in 650 sq. feet or anything like that. Every dog I have ever had has been indoor / outdoor (meaning they basically have run of the place and are let outside whenever they want (within reason). There is a place in our den that would work well with a doggy door too if we wanted to put one in.

My kids are used to dogs and well behaved around them. They understand the no pulling of tails or hair, being gentle, that dogs are animals not toys. They play well with them.

So here are my questions:

1) Any suggestions on breeds? I want a breed that will do well in a family situation. I know all dogs are different and have their own personalities, but are there any breeds that would be specifically recommended for families with children?

2) Should we get the dog before or after the baby is born? This is one I'm not sure about and would love suggestions / advice / ideas.

3) Is it better to get a puppy or a dog (I mainly ask this because of the kids)? I would really love to rescue an animal, like from the pound, but my husband is a little worried, seeing as you have no idea what their background is or what they've been put through. He's worried about how a shelter dog might react to children. I've never had a purebred / from breeder animal. All mine have been pound animals, and all of them older (I've never had a puppy puppy). He's never had a shelter animal – all his were gotten from the breeder / dogs parents as a puppy at a young age that he trained from day one. He wants to get a puppy for the kids, so they get to have an actual puppy and also so that he had control over how it is trained. Maybe I can get him to compromise with a puppy from the shelter?

4) Along the lines of the above question, if we do go to the shelter, any suggestions on how to interact with the dog and our kids to see how they get along? (Also applicable to breeders, I guess. I want to be sure I get a dog with a personality that fits with our whole family) I don't want to bring home a dog that's going to be miserable and terrified by children, you know? That would be mean. Any thoughts?

5) Or, if we go through a breeder / owner, any suggestions on how to find them?

6) And lastly, any thoughts on how to prepare a dog for a new baby, if we do get the puppy / dog first? Anything I haven't thought of?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts / ideas / suggestions. This is not something we will be going out and doing this weekend. We're just discussing it at the moment. Most likely, if we decide to get a dog before the baby is born, it will be a “family Christmas” gift – you know, tell the kids about it on Christmas (maybe put a dog bowl or leash under the tree) and then in the weeks after find the perfect new member of our family. If we decide to wait until after the baby is born, it would most likely be next summer / fall when the baby is a few months older.

[Evil Queen]

1) Of your chosen breeds, I think the German Shepard would be best. They're a pack animal (At least the ones I've been in contact with are) which means they will naturally keep an eye on the kids. Think of your kids as... little sheep for the dog to herd (my Dog did that a lot too).

2) Um... I'm all for the "Now, right now!" theory.

3) A dog is always better but if you really want to you can get a young dog (between the ages of 1-2) because the kids will see the dog no matter what and go "puppy!" or "doggie!"

4) If you're going to a shelter, take the kids and the cat with you. You don't want to wind up with a dog that either doesn't like kids or suddenly hates cats. I've used this method a few times myself and it has worked wonders.

5) uh... I actually don't know anything about breeders. I prefer a rescue puppy (pound puppy) from the Humane Society.

6) If you're getting the dog before the baby, I think it'll be okay with the baby as long as you remind him/her/it that the baby toys belong to the baby and let the dog smell the baby once she has arrived several times. That way the dog is familiar with the scent.

[draftermatt]

I haven't owned any of the breeds, however, my sister has a Golden Retriever, and one of my friends a Labrador Retriever, both are bundles of energy, and while they love kids, I don't know about cats. They are a hunting (retrieving) breed.

My wife had a collie, and he was the sweetest most kind hearted dog. And they too will see the kids as sheep to herd and keep in line.

I have no advice on pound pups since I've never owned one either, but I think EQ's advice is sound.

As far as now or after the baby is born, I'd say now. The dog will get used to the current kids, and then be introduced to the baby right away and be able to get used to it.

As far as breeder advice, I'd look up clubs for the breeds you're interested in, get a breeder list from them for your area, and talk to them about when they'll have puppies available.

That's how we got our Shar Pei.

[One-Fang]

Sounds like any breed is going to do you fine. Go rescue dog, and forget about "breed".

Head down there with family in tow (not so sure it'd be a nice thing to do to the cat). Talk to the staff about the dogs. They are, in some shelters, tested for reactions to children and cats and things. Go and interact with the dogs. Ask the staff if you can go into the dog runs to pet and touch the dogs.

Find one that clicks with your family, whatever breed or age it happens to be.

[Greenday]

I'm not going to suggest a beagle, but he is definitely an amazing family dog. My dog cuddles. He's really smart (like getting into the trash, getting into my mom's workbag and eating a box of chocolates, etc.). My lil cousins poke and pet him the wrong way and my dog just sits there and takes it. He's NEVER snapped at anyone unless he and I are playing (I play rough with him cause no one else does).

I've never had a big dog myself, but I'm quite fond of black labs. Beautiful dogs. They seem easy to train. My friend has a blacklab who crated no problem, knew he wasn't allowed to go into the kitchen, etc.

[Saydrah]

How much exercise could you give the dog, besides just the run of the yard? As far as walks, fetching, maybe running besides a bicycle? Collies and German Shepherds are both herding dogs and as such need a job. They are great family dogs if they feel adequately stimulated with exercise and training, but they don't do well being left to their own devices all the time.

Retrievers and Labs have slightly lower exercise needs, but they are both hunting breeds originally and do also need structured exercise and training. Labs are nice in that they tend to have low sensitivity to touch or pain, so kids can pull their ears and step on their paws without getting much of a reaction. The downside is, Retrievers and Labs are hugely overbred, so there are lots with personality issues and physical problems due to poor breeding.

If you don't think at least a long walk and a fetch session each day will be possible with the new baby (and who can blame you for that? Babies are like three full-time jobs!) I suggest a retired racing Greyhound. Get one who's been in a foster home with kids and cats, so you know he'll do well with them already. Greys need room to run in big, loping circles every day, but when they're indoors, they just want a squishy bed and some cuddles. They make great dogs for children because they are big but tend to be very calm, not the type to jump on kids and knock them over. The only downside is they have very thin skin, so the kids need to learn not to be rough with the Greyhound, or its feelings will be hurt and it will sulk. If you have never been sulked at by a Greyhound, you have never felt truly guilty! They are the masters of the pitiful "I'm a poor abused puppy" look.

IMO, if you are sure you want a new dog, get it before the baby arrives so you can get the dog adjusted to the household first. There's something to be said for getting the dog after the baby so it doesn't feel there's been an intruder, but I think if you already have children it won't be an issue, and you'll be used to the dog's routine already. If you wait until after the baby arrives, wait at least until the baby sleeps through the night on her own. Otherwise you will drive yourself absolutely up a wall dealing with a new baby AND a new dog.

If you get it before baby arrives, look around for a class on preparing dogs for babies. There is one taught at a hospital local to me called "Mommy, Baby, and Dog," that teaches you strategies to manage any jealousy from the dog when the baby arrives, and gets the dog used to sights, sounds, and smells that go with babies.

[ShinyGreenApple]

1) You mentioned Collies, and my biased self immediately thought of Border Collies. I've had one full-blooded BC and a mixed one, and they're both two of the best dogs I've ever had the pleasure of owning. Although, they do tend to be high-energy, so you'd need to have your yard fenced in so it could get lots of exercise, though I daresay kids will keep a dog busy, too.

German Shepherds are also an excellent choice, as they tend to be fiercely loyal to their families, along with being good watchdogs and gentle with little ones.

2) Will you or your husband still be able to give the puppy/dog the care and attention it needs along with the work and excitement that comes with a new baby? Though it's your third, so you might already have the routine down

3) Everyone loves puppies. Also, it would be a way of assuring that the dog will grow up trained and behaving the way *you* would like it to, as opposed to already having bad habits from previous owners or even having been abused. However, if you know what breed you want, literally all breeds of dogs have rescue programs. Usually these programs are very carefully run, and the rescuers and foster families won't take in or place animals with aggression problems, and most of the time they can tell you a lot about what kind of dog you're looking at. When I get back on my feet financially, I would like to rescue a BC. There's usually a fee of around $50-$200 to cover the costs of the dogs spay/neuter, as well as food and medical treatment it received while in foster care.

4) Having never adopted a shelter dog, I can't really be much help here. If you're getting a dog to which you don't know the history, it'd probably just be better if you stuck with a younger animal.

5) Be sure and ask if there are any medical problems in the animal's family history. And obviously, if you get to the 'breeder' and find lots of cages full of puppies stacked one on top of the other, just leave. Please, please don't buy from a puppy mill. Besides supporting mills, you may likely end up with a dog that has behavioral/psychological and/or health problems. If you're getting from a reputable breeder/owner though, just see how they treat their animals. A good breeder doesn't treat their puppies like something to sell and profit from, but will treat them just like any other pet until they find a new home.

6) 'Fraid I can't really give much advice in this area, but I'm sure lots of other CS parents will be able to.

Good luck with your puppy shopping though!

[Sliceanddice]

well i think large breeds do well with kids from my experience so any large breed will go well.
as for shelter vr breeder
I always adopt from shelters, only had a few purebreed dogs in my life.
if your husband is worried its quiet simple, you bring your children with you, you ask questions about the dog such as how it came to be there and if theyve noticed any behavieral problems.
And you can see how each animal reacts to the children.
If you dont find an animal there for you, then seek out a breeder.
im sure that once in the shelter and looking at dogs, you will find one that you know belongs with your family.
Also a lot of shelters ive been to allow you to be alone with the animal to see how it acts up close and personal with you.
you are better off getting a dog before the baby comes every time.
if you want to go breeder just to have the puppy, im sure animal planet has a breed finder with a pet adoption program.

oh before i forget, yes if you settle on a breed, the rescue programs are available for almost every breed.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Quoth persephone

1) Any suggestions on breeds?

Everyone else has made some pretty good suggestions. Mixes (as in, a German Shepherd mixed breed; I had one once as a kid (she was part shepherd and part collie) and she was absolutely wonderful) are a good option too. Just make sure you research your chosen breed, whatever it is, so you know what-all you can expect and prepare for accordingly (including potential health issues; some larger breeds are prone to particular illnesses like hip dysplasia).

2) Should we get the dog before or after the baby is born?

I know little about this one, so I'll go with what others have said about doing it beforehand. I also second Saydrah's advice; don't get them both at the same time or you'll go insane trying to juggle it all at once!

3) Is it better to get a puppy or a dog?

Either one is great and has its own advantages/disadvantages, some obvious, others not so.

Puppy - Good: You can train them as they grow.
Bad: You have to deal with housebreaking if you don't want pee and poop all over the house (you'll have more than enough of that once baby comes).

Adult dog - Good: You pretty much know what you're getting in terms of personality.
Bad: Depending on age, may not be around for very long.

Personally, I can't recommend shelters/rescue groups enough. Though it is possible to find good breeders out there, but you REALLY have to do your homework and if you see the slightest suggestion of puppy mill, RUN, don't walk away!

Reputable shelters will gladly let you spend some time with your prospective dog so you can see how he/she (as a side note, gender doesn't matter - either sex makes for a wonderful family pet) gets along with you and your family. (Be sure to ask how said dog reacts to cats! Some breeds are born hunters and small furry things that move = often stress for any other pet in the house) Make a list of questions you have on your mind about temperament, maintenance, history, etc. and take it with you when you go. Shelter personnel may not have all the answers, but they should be able to give you a good overall picture of what to expect.

Also, with this economy being so craptastic, it's important to note that not every shelter animal is one with Issues - a lot of families are being forced into the heartbreaking position of giving up their animals because they simply can't afford to care for them anymore. So odds are you could find a perfectly mellow-tempered pet at a shelter these days.

4) Along the lines of the above question, if we do go to the shelter, any suggestions on how to interact with the dog and our kids to see how they get along?

Let doggy come to you first, NEVER corner it or attempt to chase it. This behavior may be perceived by the animal as threatening and it will react accordingly (i.e., biting!). Just stay in place and hold out your hand, palm up, and let doggy check you out for a minute or two before attempting to pet it. If doggy seems happy to see you, generally speaking, all should be well.

Avoid dogs whose first reaction is to growl - these are animals that have Issues and would likely not be good with children.

5) Or, if we go through a breeder / owner, any suggestions on how to find them?

A reputable breeder will welcome your inspection of his or her facilities/animals, because word of mouth is what keeps these people going. People who've had great experiences with a breeder will recommend that person to other people that they know who may be looking for the same type of animal. I'm not familiar with reputable breeder resources, but I think that the American Dog Association (name?) keeps lists of approved breeders.

6) And lastly, any thoughts on how to prepare a dog for a new baby, if we do get the puppy / dog first?

It will be difficult considering all the juggled responsibilities involved with each, but be sure to give doggy the same amount of attention he/she gets before baby shows up. That way doggy won't feel as though he/she is being shunted to the background and bad behavior is less likely to occur (some animals will react to being ignored by improper behavior, such as peeing/pooping in an unauthorized area, or making extra noise, and so on).

Let doggy sniff out baby's things (and later, baby) to get used to the new scents, but don't force either one to spend time with each other if it looks like one or the other (or both) is being discomfited by it. Let them get to know each other in their own good time (with proper supervision, of course) and odds are everybody will get along fine.

Praise doggy for good behavior whenever you see him/her behaving around baby, even if it's just something as simple as sitting quietly nearby. If doggy learns to associate baby and baby paraphernalia with good things (like getting a treat, or getting extra lovings), doggy will think of baby as Good, and behave accordingly.

Good luck!

[draggar]

Quoth persephone

4) Along the lines of the above question, if we do go to the shelter, any suggestions on how to interact with the dog and our kids to see how they get along? (Also applicable to breeders, I guess. I want to be sure I get a dog with a personality that fits with our whole family) I don't want to bring home a dog that's going to be miserable and terrified by children, you know? That would be mean. Any thoughts?

5) Or, if we go through a breeder / owner, any suggestions on how to find them?

PM me your general location and I'll see if we know any *good* breeders in your area but here's a page we put up for people to tell good breeders from bad breeders:

http://www.casadelmango.com/goodbad.php

http://www.casadelmango.com/breeder.php

We have a German shepherd ready for adoption, too. (Artemis if you've seen my puppies threads).