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My wife and I went to Ohio Renessaince Festival (ORF) yesterday and I gotta tell you stupidity is timeless.
If you've never been its like this. the ORF is a small village from Elizbethian England that you are visiting for the day. The workers go around in character as various people form the village idiot to the queen herself. They have contests, shows and activities all in the theme of Elizabethian England. And they ahve the marketplace which is probably the main reason for the ORF where merchants sell various Fantasy/Midevil/Renassaince related items such as swords/clothes/foods/glasswares etc... So all in all a rather neat and kinda quirky place to go have some fun. Most of the time its hard to tell who works there and who is just a guest as the guests get into character and dress up as well. Although all weapons must be peace knotted at all times. (yes you have people wandering around with swords/knives daggers and axes where alcohol is served. Oddly enough there has never been a major incident as the place is policed very well by responsible guests and the park security)
That having been said there where a few thigns I wanna share.
1: This kid (sorry I'm 33 so teens are kids) decided he wanted to not pay for a small knife at this one booth. Fortunately the guy at the booth saw it and called out to his partner who was hawking the wares outside the booth. The street hawker turned and placed his pike staff ways in front of the kid and told him that the renessaince punishment for thievery is public floggin and asked if milord wanted to have the pleasure of the full ORF experience. The kid said he was just wanting to show it to a friend (which is why it was slipped into his waist band?) and put it back. At least the kid learned a very important lesson never try to steal from people who have bigger blades than you do.
2: speaking of big blades there was this lady at the same booth who asked if they had bodice daggers. She managed to put a 6 inch dagger in her cleavage!
3: There is a show there called the Theatore in the Ground. It is held in the Mudatorium. Basically it is these three guys who spoof beowulf and dantes inferno by flinging mud at each other and the crowd. Kinda think gallagher meets the classics. Ok there is a giant mud pit right in front of the benches and there are defiantely warning signs all around if you pay attention. (they even sell T shirts right outside the mudatorium, which that name should ring all kinds of bells)
But anyhow there was this one chick who apparently wasnt getting into the spirit of thigns. Dressed in white sweatshirt and slacks and the perfectly coiffed blonde hair thign goign on. Well she decided to sit down in the front area. Within what the old timers know is the splat zone.
Guess what? she got mud on her and bitched and whined & complained about how dirty she was (hardly any on her at all I must say my wife and I stayed to watch this free show. I should have done like I did to an exgirlfriend one time. I slipped one of the mud guys a 20 to go up and put his arm around her after the show.
) Fortunately they where like well its a mud show in a mud pit and there are a lot of signs that maybe you shouldnt be sitting in the front row like the people around you having their cloaks ready to pull over themselves among other things including jokes made before the show really starts. Somehow that didnt satisfy her and she stormed off. I have no idea what happened but I hope show got a halberd shoved somewhere.
4: this happened a few years ago and was definately not a sucky person at all. My friends and I are standing out in front of the gates and hear a big harley coming up the hill. Topping the hill we see this Viking warrior riding on a big harley hog coming over the hill. I mean the guy is dressed in furs and chain mail and has a big axe across his back looks like thor meets the hells angels. Can you imagine the looks this guy must have gotton on his way there? At least he was wearing a helmet.
5: Also from a couple years ago. I was on the way into opening weekend and stopped at a gas station near ORF. I go in dressed in full Robin Hood regalia. The one clerk was definately wierded out but the other one knew what was going on and all she had to say was (in a slightly bored/oh great the wierdos are out again voice) "Oh is it that time of year again?" I love it.
If you've never been its like this. the ORF is a small village from Elizbethian England that you are visiting for the day. The workers go around in character as various people form the village idiot to the queen herself. They have contests, shows and activities all in the theme of Elizabethian England. And they ahve the marketplace which is probably the main reason for the ORF where merchants sell various Fantasy/Midevil/Renassaince related items such as swords/clothes/foods/glasswares etc... So all in all a rather neat and kinda quirky place to go have some fun. Most of the time its hard to tell who works there and who is just a guest as the guests get into character and dress up as well. Although all weapons must be peace knotted at all times. (yes you have people wandering around with swords/knives daggers and axes where alcohol is served. Oddly enough there has never been a major incident as the place is policed very well by responsible guests and the park security)
That having been said there where a few thigns I wanna share.
1: This kid (sorry I'm 33 so teens are kids) decided he wanted to not pay for a small knife at this one booth. Fortunately the guy at the booth saw it and called out to his partner who was hawking the wares outside the booth. The street hawker turned and placed his pike staff ways in front of the kid and told him that the renessaince punishment for thievery is public floggin and asked if milord wanted to have the pleasure of the full ORF experience. The kid said he was just wanting to show it to a friend (which is why it was slipped into his waist band?) and put it back. At least the kid learned a very important lesson never try to steal from people who have bigger blades than you do.
2: speaking of big blades there was this lady at the same booth who asked if they had bodice daggers. She managed to put a 6 inch dagger in her cleavage!
3: There is a show there called the Theatore in the Ground. It is held in the Mudatorium. Basically it is these three guys who spoof beowulf and dantes inferno by flinging mud at each other and the crowd. Kinda think gallagher meets the classics. Ok there is a giant mud pit right in front of the benches and there are defiantely warning signs all around if you pay attention. (they even sell T shirts right outside the mudatorium, which that name should ring all kinds of bells)
But anyhow there was this one chick who apparently wasnt getting into the spirit of thigns. Dressed in white sweatshirt and slacks and the perfectly coiffed blonde hair thign goign on. Well she decided to sit down in the front area. Within what the old timers know is the splat zone.
Guess what? she got mud on her and bitched and whined & complained about how dirty she was (hardly any on her at all I must say my wife and I stayed to watch this free show. I should have done like I did to an exgirlfriend one time. I slipped one of the mud guys a 20 to go up and put his arm around her after the show.
) Fortunately they where like well its a mud show in a mud pit and there are a lot of signs that maybe you shouldnt be sitting in the front row like the people around you having their cloaks ready to pull over themselves among other things including jokes made before the show really starts. Somehow that didnt satisfy her and she stormed off. I have no idea what happened but I hope show got a halberd shoved somewhere.4: this happened a few years ago and was definately not a sucky person at all. My friends and I are standing out in front of the gates and hear a big harley coming up the hill. Topping the hill we see this Viking warrior riding on a big harley hog coming over the hill. I mean the guy is dressed in furs and chain mail and has a big axe across his back looks like thor meets the hells angels. Can you imagine the looks this guy must have gotton on his way there? At least he was wearing a helmet.
5: Also from a couple years ago. I was on the way into opening weekend and stopped at a gas station near ORF. I go in dressed in full Robin Hood regalia. The one clerk was definately wierded out but the other one knew what was going on and all she had to say was (in a slightly bored/oh great the wierdos are out again voice) "Oh is it that time of year again?" I love it.
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