......when you don't have ADD.
As most of you know, I met a guy back in October who really swept me off my feet. The relationship has been growing and growing over the past few months and I'm hoping it can get serious.
There's just one thing.....he has ADD. As in he has seen a doctor and has been on medication since he was a teen. He claims it's ADHD, but he is not hyperactive in my opinion (but then again, I'm not the doctor, and he may very well be diagnosed as ADHD). I don't watch him take his medication and I'm not his mother or anything, but I just notice a few things about him that just irk me (well doesn't everyone have something that irks them?).
Sometimes he totally cuts me off while I'm talking and I start to think I bored him or he wasn't even listening to begin with.
He cannot seem to talk about the same one subject for more than a few minutes.
If we are out with friends he will try to carry on 10 different conversations with 10 different people and epically fail.
When he drinks, his voice gets very loud and it's hard to get him to quiet down when we really need to be (aka, when we get home or are leaving the bar and cops are nearby).
Also, I have several friends like this. Big Sis and a few other close friends have it, and I just found out that the girl I may be moving in with this summer has it as well (just ADD, not ADHD).
They are also guilty of the same things that I described above that my boyfriend does.
I do not want to seem like I am unsympathetic and harbor negative feelings against people with ADD/ADHD. There are just some times where I have to close my fists and my eyes and scream a little inside because they frustrate me. It's very difficult because I feel so different and I feel like I bring them down.
I have my own moments every once in a while, and I believe to a certain extent, everyone is a little ADD, it's just that some people actually need meds and others can manage. I can be talking away, see a bunny cross the street, cut myself off and go "Look a bunny!" or every once in a while completely lose my train of thought for no reason.
It's just difficult because I'm a very organized person. I'm a very free spirited person who does not fear sponteanity or randomness, but at the same time, I call people when I say I will, I always call to cancel if I must, I never leave people hanging, and I try to never cut people off because I feel it's rude. I try to listen as best as I can...even if I am not wanting to listen. The only time I cut people off and don't listen is if I really don't like the person and I'm in a position where I don't need to listen and don't need to care.
Can anyone offer me some advice on how to better understand my boyfriend and my friends? I do have other friends who do not have ADD, so it's not like I am completely alone, but I want to be fair to my boyfriend and his friends and give them every chance they deserve. I try my very best NOT to hold negative feelings towards my bf for forgetting to call or cutting me off, and I try to have the same respect for my friends when they do that as well....or when they ask for a ride home from the bar, I go to find them, and they disappear....
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
As most of you know, I met a guy back in October who really swept me off my feet. The relationship has been growing and growing over the past few months and I'm hoping it can get serious.
There's just one thing.....he has ADD. As in he has seen a doctor and has been on medication since he was a teen. He claims it's ADHD, but he is not hyperactive in my opinion (but then again, I'm not the doctor, and he may very well be diagnosed as ADHD). I don't watch him take his medication and I'm not his mother or anything, but I just notice a few things about him that just irk me (well doesn't everyone have something that irks them?).
Sometimes he totally cuts me off while I'm talking and I start to think I bored him or he wasn't even listening to begin with.
He cannot seem to talk about the same one subject for more than a few minutes.
If we are out with friends he will try to carry on 10 different conversations with 10 different people and epically fail.
When he drinks, his voice gets very loud and it's hard to get him to quiet down when we really need to be (aka, when we get home or are leaving the bar and cops are nearby).
Also, I have several friends like this. Big Sis and a few other close friends have it, and I just found out that the girl I may be moving in with this summer has it as well (just ADD, not ADHD).
They are also guilty of the same things that I described above that my boyfriend does.
I do not want to seem like I am unsympathetic and harbor negative feelings against people with ADD/ADHD. There are just some times where I have to close my fists and my eyes and scream a little inside because they frustrate me. It's very difficult because I feel so different and I feel like I bring them down.
I have my own moments every once in a while, and I believe to a certain extent, everyone is a little ADD, it's just that some people actually need meds and others can manage. I can be talking away, see a bunny cross the street, cut myself off and go "Look a bunny!" or every once in a while completely lose my train of thought for no reason.
It's just difficult because I'm a very organized person. I'm a very free spirited person who does not fear sponteanity or randomness, but at the same time, I call people when I say I will, I always call to cancel if I must, I never leave people hanging, and I try to never cut people off because I feel it's rude. I try to listen as best as I can...even if I am not wanting to listen. The only time I cut people off and don't listen is if I really don't like the person and I'm in a position where I don't need to listen and don't need to care.
Can anyone offer me some advice on how to better understand my boyfriend and my friends? I do have other friends who do not have ADD, so it's not like I am completely alone, but I want to be fair to my boyfriend and his friends and give them every chance they deserve. I try my very best NOT to hold negative feelings towards my bf for forgetting to call or cutting me off, and I try to have the same respect for my friends when they do that as well....or when they ask for a ride home from the bar, I go to find them, and they disappear....
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
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