One crisis is over, another is just beginning (language and long)

[goldaries13]

You'll have to forgive me if I don't make a lot of sense and ramble in this post. I've been crying and my fingers are still shaking.

The Millie crisis is over, she's gone and has been officially for a few days. Unfortunately, a personal crisis has taken that crisis's place.

My husband works in a physical therapy/rehab center as a receptionist/intake counselor. Today he collapsed at work and was sent to the hospital. I had some trouble getting up there, since 1) I was at work and couldn't leave until my CW Joe took over, 2) I can't drive (obviously), and had to take a bus to the hospital the hubs was sent to (in the next county over, which is where he works).

About three hours from when I initially got the call later, I arrive at the hospital and have to wait another two hours before a doctor comes to talk to me. I wasn't worried; it's busy, and I assume the hubs only collapsed due to lack of sleep, hunger, dehydration, or any combo of the three because he's so busy all the time.

The news was much different. The doc told me apparently The Dane didn't just collapse, he had a seizure. Since he'd never had a seizure before, they were looking into possible causes. However, the doc said, they were almost certain it was a brain tumor from the MRI, and my husband was in surgery so they could confirm. The doctor then proceeded to tell me they were thinking it was a oligoastrocytoma, or some other glioma (I did my research when I got home, and apparently, that's bad). It's rare, especially given The Dane's age (he's 23), and he also said a bunch of stuff about it possibly being low grade, and the seizure only occurring because of the location, but they won't know till the biopsy's done.

Christ. I eventually went home because there's not much I can do till the results come back, which should be sometime tomorrow, most likely. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and calling off tomorrow so I can see my husband (he was still in surgery when I left). My friends are over, my mom is flying up, and I'm still trying to get in touch with his mom and/or stepdad.

Honestly, does someone hate me and The Dane or something? If it's not one thing, it's another. I think getting married caused some goddamned cosmic shift in the universe and someone is slinging handfuls of shit into our cosmic fan.

[Rapscallion]

Take your time - we'll be here for you.

Rapscallion

[Lil Bunny]

Sending tons of hugs, good thoughts and prayers if you're into that.

*HUGS*

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Holy crap...

Best wishes and prayers out to you and your husband.

[Akasa]

Holy shit!
/hugs
We're here for you and if you need to vent or have someone to talk to we're here.

[RootedPhoenix]

That's awful!

*offers hugs, prayers, and comfort* Anything else, we're here for you.

[goldaries13]

Thanks, guys... It really means a lot.

My mom just got here an hour ago, and I guess she's intent on holding down the fort in my husband's absence: she's already starting on the cooking (why is it in a crisis, moms always turn to the stove? Ah, no matter, it's amusing me how she goes on about the lack of bacon grease in my house and how can she be expected to make me a proper comfort meal without it I love my mom). His mom, on the other hand, is still waiting on a flight; she's probably not going to be here till tomorrow night at best.

My friends are also still here: In the 12 or so hours they've been here, they've broken open my husband's "panic" cabinet (that would be the good booze), and had me drink some to calm my nerves. Nobody's gotten any sleep at this point, but they will after I leave and they go home.

In a few hours, I'm taking a bus to see the hubs. I'll probably be up there most of the day. I don't see him coming home for another two days at least. After that, I have no idea whether he'll resume normal activities (work and school). I doubt it for now.

I talked with my CW Joe, who told me that the higher ups have been alerted and no one expects me to come in today. I still talked with my manager and cleared it, regardless. It's funny: Wally World gets a lot of crap for not caring about it employees, but apparently within hours, everyone at my store was trying to make it easier on me so I could spend time with The Dane. I'm still, for my own sanity, going back to work on Friday, though (Thursday I already had off due to someone's creative scheduling so I could have my birthday off. Happy freaking birthday to me).

I'll keep you guys posted. Thank you a million times over.

[CaroPhoenix]

:hugs:

Also, I'll be praying for your Dane and for you.

I have nothing else to say, just that we're all here for you.

[mandaliz8704]

Oh my gosh... I hope that you get good news from the doctors.

[Tireana Dorcha]

I am sending you many good thoughts and prayers (to any and every diety I can think of!).

And thank goodness for parents and friends. As others have said, we're here for you if you need anything! Don't be afraid to ask

[SengaKitty]

Oh honey We're all here for you if you need us, I'm sending out all the good thoughts and prayers I can, and lighting candles for you and your Dane. Please know you can come here and vent about anything

[Becks]

*Hugs and happy thoughts*

[goldaries13]

Home; Mumsy took me to and from the hospital. Buses, in her opinion, are filthy dirty things for hobos and thugs. No offense to anyone who takes the bus.

His sisters spent the night with him, and were downright chilly to me and my mother when we arrived. Apparently, The Dane was in and out during the night, and while he had no idea who his sisters were sometimes, he kept asking for me. This is my fault how? All we've ever really had since we met was each other, his family all but disowned him when we initially dated, and gah Iwantthesebitchestofalldownaverydeepholeintothepit sofhell!

Sorry, but my sisters-in-law (four of them) and I have never gotten along, probably because he's the youngest of them and he's oh so fragile and must be protected from the scary wheelchair lady!!!11!!

*looks at rest of post* I spend way too much time around you guys. Or reading Irv and GK's posts. Or something.

Anyway. My mother shoves them all out of the room ("Well, bless your hearts! [oh, noes, Mom is about to talk some trash in the way only old southern ladies do] But I do believe my daughter is the next of kin, right? And this is the ICU? Oh, goodness me, the rest of us should get out into the lounge before the nurses come and give us holy hell!" *winks at me* Love you, too, Mom! )

So me and The Dane, who is out at the moment, are alone. He comes to fairly quickly. The whir of my wheelchair is like his alarm clock, I swear.

TD: You... did not get any sleep last night.
Me: You... are all hopped up on painkillers and can't think coherantly.
TD: Touche.

He had no idea what happened. The last thing he remembered was getting ready for work... a week ago. He thought it was the 2nd. And he had no idea why he was in the hospital and why he had bandages on his head.

I filled him in as best as I could. After I did so, we waited for a doctor or a nurse or someone.

We got an answer around noon. And it's little more complex than even the first explanation. First, the sequences, which will be referred to as good, bad, and so-so as we go on:

1)It was indeed a tumor that caused the seizure (so-so, we knew this was coming)
2)They successfully removed the tumor that caused the seizure (good, as it means other than some monitoring, we may not have to worry about it at all)
3) The tumor that caused the seizure was a benign schwannoma about the size of a golf ball (so-so, leaning toward good; the size indicates it was caught on the late side of early)
4) As they removed the schwannoma, they came across another, larger tumor, that, in an MRI they did after the surgery, seemed to be the size of a small orange (bad, as that means it's probably been there awhile)
5) They were able to remove only a small portion of the second tumor, just enough to make a diagnosis (bad, getting worse; that means chemo and/or radiation if it's determined to be inoperable, which it probably is)
6) The second tumor is the tumor that the doctor yesterday was telling me about. This is the oligoastrocytoma (Bad? We've just entered hell)

Forgive the medical terms, I'm only spitting out what the doctor said.

So we were alternately thrilled, relieved, and floored. The Dane's only staying in the hospital another day after today, and after that, he can resume school, since he's graduating in a month anyway, and only has to go to classes since he already presented his thesis in the fall. He was going to go on and get his certification and Doctor of Physical Therapy degree, but that will have to wait until after treatment, probably a year from now, optimistically. He's taking a six month leave of absence from work, instead of quitting (I was called by his boss on the way home and told it was all set up)

The doc hesitated to give us a prognosis so early, but did say with a bit of aggressive treatment, the chances are probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 60% of The Dane surviving after five years. 60 is better than nothing at this point.

The Dane is worried, more so than I thought, but after talking with his mother yesterday, it made sense. His dad died when he was a kid, also of some form of brain cancer, although his father's symptoms were severe(headaches, vomiting, etc.) and came on quite suddenly, and the only symptom The Dane has displayed thus far is a seizure, despite the rather major growth of both tumors.

Here's hoping. All prayers, good thoughts, vibes, etc. are noted and appreciated!

[AdminAssistant]

I'm glad your doctor was so upfront and honest with you - my mom's oncologist was the same way and I think it helped. Cancer treatment is growing by leaps and bounds all the time, so keep your chin up! A positive attitude is the #1 secret to fighting cancer. That, and finding a community of support. Best of luck to the both of you!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Wow, that's a lot to take in. Sounds like there's a good bit of hopefulness mixed in with the bad stuff; I'm sending good vibes.