It didn't start out sucky and stupid, but it did later on!
The cast never ends. 2 people:
SC - The deliverer of grief and frustration (Company ticketing system shows that SC is in the company's IT department as a Level 3 Systems Engineer. Translation - He resolves server issues and makes at least 3x my salary.)
ME - Helpdesk, Blade_Raver speaking.
SC - Blade, I can't get into VPN.
My thoughts are in italics.
I go through the troubleshooting..
Disable proxy settings, he can surf internet fine.
20 mins into troubleshooting, he drops this gem:
SC: It prompts me to login, I put in my login credentials and then it prompts for me to put them in again and repeats until after it gives me an error.
I check the logs and have him try to login. The log doesn't show any communication from him. Issue now isolated to a defective VPN client.
I have him go into add/remove programs and repair it then reboot.
After reboot (painfully slow process because company loads their laptops up with a bunch of shit that the hardware is nowhere near geared for running simultaneously. A 15-30 minute reboot process is not uncommon here.)
After reboot, checked web connection (it works) and then tried VPN again. This time it hangs after typing login info. Corrupted profile.
Okay, no problem, send an email to his external email address with the pcf files and then walk him through replacing the old ones on his machine with the new ones.. and then the problem starts. Consider almost every one of his replies stressed in a way that reflects impatience and rudeness.
SC: How can you email me the files when I can't login to VPN?
ME: I can email them to an external email address. Can you access webmail on your private email address?
SC: No, I only have 1 computer that can access my personal email and that's it.
ME: (Wonders how this is possible.
) What's your personal email address?
SC: (username) at (major telco company).com
ME: Okay, I'm sure (major telco company) has a webmail portal you can login to from this laptop. All I have to do is email you the pcf files and....
SC: No! I don't know how to. I'm not computer savvy.
ME: (WTF? Are you shitting me?
) You don't know how to access webmail on the (major telco company).com site?
SC: No. I don't. I don't want to know how to either.
ME: (Ignorant asshole! You don't deserve to be in IT!
) Okay, let's use our company's webmail site then.
I walk him through the webmail site for the company. I upload the files via email.
He copies them. Still doesn't work.
I walked him through uninstalling VPN and then reinstalling it. He couldn't get the zip file to open when I emailed him the VPN client in a zip file. (WTF?)
SC: Can you just remote into my machine and fix it?
ME: You have to be connected into VPN for me to be able to remote to your machine.
SC: Oh.. Then can I just drop by your desk and have you deal with it?
ME: (How can someone as incompetent as you not know how to open a .zip file?
) Company policy forbids it, but in the case as you are on-call for your support group, go ahead and come up.
I give him directions and call back # and also alert company security letting them know of him coming in and to allow access.
2 hours rolls around and still no sign of this guy. I check my incoming phone logs, and call him back.
ME: This is Blade at Company Helpdesk. Are you ok?
SC: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to come in when I get a call.
ME: Understood. Please call me before you come up so I can prepare you a network connection and also don't forget to bring the laptop's power supply.
SC: Power supply? What's that?
ME: (At this point, nothing suprises me anymore.
) The power cord that you plug your laptop in so it stays charged.
SC: Ohhh ok.
ME: Thanks, have a good one.
SC: Ok. Bye.
3-4 hours of my time, wasted. ARGGHHH!!
Let's also include that there were calls missed while I was talking to him (because I'm the only one here and I only have 1 line that people can ring into.)
This was a pure example of ignorance, arrogance, and stupidity.