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Well, it's been mostly smooth sailing since Captain Jellico's departure, then I get three different conversations that make me want to strangle some sense into someone.
Platinum Photo Paper
I hear the phone ringing, but Natasha had stepped away from the register to help a customer and wasn't available to answer it, so I sprinted over to pick up the call.
Me: (Standard Spiel)
SC: Do you have professional photo paper?
And we're off to a not-so-stellar start already.
Me: Well, what exactly are you looking for? We do have some very nice, high-end photo papers.
SC: Professional.
*Le Sigh* I was not in the mood to play 20 Questions.
Me: Yes, we do.
SC: Canon?
Me: Yes, we do carry Canon photo paper but our selection is very limited. However, we do have some excellent photo papers from HP and in our own brand.
SC: Why?
Me: Why what?
SC: Why is your selection of Canon paper limited?
I dunno. Because they use red packaging and our buyers are offended that they're using "our" color?
Me: Well, we don't sell as much of it.
SC: How about Kodak?
Me: Yes, but again, the selection is limited. But we have plenty of HP and store-brand papers.
SC: Are they good? How much are they?
Are they good? Honestly, that's a stupid question to ask, because the answer will always be "yes." Either because it's true, or because we're lying in order to cram something you don't need down your throat. I wish I could say this company never does that, but I'd be lying. However, for what it's worth, *I* don't do that.
Oh, and until you actually TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, I can't telly ou how much it costs.
Me: Yes. WE have some excellent papers in the HP Advanced line and our our Photo Supreme line.
SC: But are they good? I'm looking for platinum.
Platinum?? What the hell does that mean? Are you looking for platinum colored paper or are you applying some sort of non-existant "silver-gold-platinum" rating system - that as far as I know if not used with ANY paper - to this?
Me: They're very good.
SC: OK, how much is it?
How much is WHAT?? You have yet to specify just what it is you want. "Good" photo paper does not cut it.
And bear in mind that I'm answering this on a register phone, Natasha was still nowhere in sight (where the hell she went I have no idea) and I'm standing on the "customer side" of the register. I NEED to get the hell off this phone ASAP, but this guy is not helping.
Me: That would depend on what size you need, how many sheets you need, and whether you want glossy or---
SC: What sixes do you have?
Me: 4x6, 5x7, 8.5x11--
SC: You don't have it bigger?????
OK, calm down and stop interrupting me.
Me: WE do have 13-19 paper, but it's only available in our brand, double-side matte finish--
SC: ANd how MUCH is it?
Me: $25 per pack.
SC: OK. *click*
Needless to say, he never came in. Now, here's how the conversation SHOULD have gone.
Cust: Do you have any high-end photo paper.
Me: Yes. We have our own Photo Supreme papers, and HP Advanced papers.
Cust: I need large size paper. What's the biggest you have?
Me: 13 x 19, but that's only in our Photo Supreme line, and only in double sided matte, and it's $25.
Cust: Do you have any in stock?
Me: Yep!
Cust: Great, I'll be right over.
See? Much easier. Instead, I had to waste more than 5 minutes with that moron.
Red Paper Verizon Chargers
I just love clueless women....like this one who I had to deal with TWICE.
SC: Excuse me?
Me: Yes?
SC: I'm looking for red paper.
Me: That's along the back wall, just after the regular white paper.
SC: Ok.....actually what I'm really looking for is a charger for my phone.
OK, seriously, what the fuck? What. the. Fuck?
How the hell did we go from "red paper" to "phone charger?" Is the red paper really a red herring? Are you somehow embarrassed to need a phone charger? We aren't talking sex toys here, so I really don't understand why a segue was needed here, but whatever. I walk her over to the cell phone chargers.
Me: Do you have the phone with you? (It's always easier to match up a charger when I have the phone in my hand)
SC: Which ones are for Verizon?
*damnit*
Me: What brand phone do you have?
SC: Verizon.
Me: Yes, but who made the phone? What company?
SC: Verizon!
Me: OK.....Verizon is only your service provider. Their name may be on the phone, but they didn't make it; some other company did, such as Motorola, LG, or Samsung. I need to know which in order to sell you the correct charger. Do you have the phone with you?
SC: No, but it's a Verizon phone. Just give me a Verizon charger.
Me: Ma'am, Verizon doesn't make the phone. It'd be Motorola, LG, or some other company.
SC: So you can't sell me a charger?
Me: I could, but without knowing what make of phone it is, I'd have no way of knowing if it's the right one.
SC: It's Verizon.
Me: Ma'am, without the phone in front of me I can't determine what charger you need. Is there anything else I can help you with.
SC: No, I'm all set.
God....am I talking to myself here? I'll have you know ma'dam that it just like it takes two to tango, it also takes two to have a conversation, meaning that you need to LISTEN not just TALK. And why don't you have the phone? Is the battery already completely dead? If it were me, I'd try to get a new charger BEFORE that happened, and if I couldn't, I'd still bring the phone with me (well, actually I wouldn't since I already know what I need, but that's neither here nor there). I've had people bring in their whole damn printer just to be sure they were getting the right cable, just so as to be safe and not sorry. At least in that case it's always the UNIVERSAL USB cable, but sadly, universal phone chargers haven't quite caught on yet.
Wireless TV Headphones
Same woman! Obviously she lied when she said she was all set.
SC: Do you have headphones.
Me: Yes *walks her over to headphones* This whole section right here.
SC: Will any of these work with a TV?
Me: They will only if your TV has a headphone jack, and I have seen very few TVs that do, aside from portable ones.
SC: No, a regular TV.
Me: Well, as I said, you'd need a headphone jack on the TV, and as far as I know, most TVs don't.
SC: So these won't work on a TV?
Here we go again! I've already answered this question twice!
Me: In order for any of these headphones to work with a TV, the TV HAS TO HAVE a headphone jack on it. To the best of my knowledge, most TVs do NOT have such a jack, so unless you know yours does, then no, they won't. Besides, most of these are meant to be used with walkmen or MP3 players or iPods [yes, I know that iPods are MP3 players, but most people seem to think of them as different], so they have pretty short wires. You'd have to either sit right in front of the TV or get an extension cord for it.
SC: Oh, I don't want any wires, I want wireless headphones.
Me: Well I'm sorry but we don't carry any. All of these have wires.
SC: So which of these are wireless???
And we have a winner!!! She won the prize "Being Foisted Off on the Competition!" Congratulations!
Me: None of them. If you're looking for TV headphones, you'd be better off going to Best Buy. Since they deal in televisions, they'd be more likely to have what you're looking for.
SC (sounding as if that was the best idea since sliced bread): Oh, ok!
Me: Is there anything else you need? (pleasesayno pleasesayno)
SC: No, thank you.
And she meant it this time, thank God.
Oh, and she never did buy that red paper. Too bad, since that's the one thing she asked for that we could actually have sold her.
Bonus! Wherein I become a Math Teacher
(Ok, not really a bonus, but it didn't fit into the thread title)
Had a girl come in and ask for a calculator that "does fractions."
This isn't an unheard of request, but it's not common. Therefore I don't think it's something that teachers ask their students to buy, but rather something the student thinks they need. It doesn't matter either way, because we DO sell such things; all graphing calculators can handle fractional input (though you usually need to format it is "(x/y)" to make sure it solves the fraction before doing any other operations), and we also sell two-line scientific calculators that can do this as well.
Me: *tells here where the requested calculators are* But you really don't need that.
Girl: Huh?
Me: You could just solve the fractions, then enter the results.
*deer in headlights look*
Me: Instead of entering "1/4" for example, you'd enter "0.25"
Girl: Oh...ok.... *wanders off*
Obviously, someone needs to pay better attention in class instead of relying to heavily on a calculator.......
Platinum Photo Paper
I hear the phone ringing, but Natasha had stepped away from the register to help a customer and wasn't available to answer it, so I sprinted over to pick up the call.
Me: (Standard Spiel)
SC: Do you have professional photo paper?
And we're off to a not-so-stellar start already.
Me: Well, what exactly are you looking for? We do have some very nice, high-end photo papers.
SC: Professional.
*Le Sigh* I was not in the mood to play 20 Questions.
Me: Yes, we do.
SC: Canon?
Me: Yes, we do carry Canon photo paper but our selection is very limited. However, we do have some excellent photo papers from HP and in our own brand.
SC: Why?
Me: Why what?
SC: Why is your selection of Canon paper limited?
I dunno. Because they use red packaging and our buyers are offended that they're using "our" color?
Me: Well, we don't sell as much of it.
SC: How about Kodak?
Me: Yes, but again, the selection is limited. But we have plenty of HP and store-brand papers.
SC: Are they good? How much are they?
Are they good? Honestly, that's a stupid question to ask, because the answer will always be "yes." Either because it's true, or because we're lying in order to cram something you don't need down your throat. I wish I could say this company never does that, but I'd be lying. However, for what it's worth, *I* don't do that.
Oh, and until you actually TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, I can't telly ou how much it costs.
Me: Yes. WE have some excellent papers in the HP Advanced line and our our Photo Supreme line.
SC: But are they good? I'm looking for platinum.
Platinum?? What the hell does that mean? Are you looking for platinum colored paper or are you applying some sort of non-existant "silver-gold-platinum" rating system - that as far as I know if not used with ANY paper - to this?
Me: They're very good.
SC: OK, how much is it?
How much is WHAT?? You have yet to specify just what it is you want. "Good" photo paper does not cut it.
And bear in mind that I'm answering this on a register phone, Natasha was still nowhere in sight (where the hell she went I have no idea) and I'm standing on the "customer side" of the register. I NEED to get the hell off this phone ASAP, but this guy is not helping.
Me: That would depend on what size you need, how many sheets you need, and whether you want glossy or---
SC: What sixes do you have?
Me: 4x6, 5x7, 8.5x11--
SC: You don't have it bigger?????
OK, calm down and stop interrupting me.
Me: WE do have 13-19 paper, but it's only available in our brand, double-side matte finish--
SC: ANd how MUCH is it?
Me: $25 per pack.
SC: OK. *click*
Needless to say, he never came in. Now, here's how the conversation SHOULD have gone.
Cust: Do you have any high-end photo paper.
Me: Yes. We have our own Photo Supreme papers, and HP Advanced papers.
Cust: I need large size paper. What's the biggest you have?
Me: 13 x 19, but that's only in our Photo Supreme line, and only in double sided matte, and it's $25.
Cust: Do you have any in stock?
Me: Yep!
Cust: Great, I'll be right over.
See? Much easier. Instead, I had to waste more than 5 minutes with that moron.
Red Paper Verizon Chargers
I just love clueless women....like this one who I had to deal with TWICE.
SC: Excuse me?
Me: Yes?
SC: I'm looking for red paper.
Me: That's along the back wall, just after the regular white paper.
SC: Ok.....actually what I'm really looking for is a charger for my phone.
OK, seriously, what the fuck? What. the. Fuck?
How the hell did we go from "red paper" to "phone charger?" Is the red paper really a red herring? Are you somehow embarrassed to need a phone charger? We aren't talking sex toys here, so I really don't understand why a segue was needed here, but whatever. I walk her over to the cell phone chargers.Me: Do you have the phone with you? (It's always easier to match up a charger when I have the phone in my hand)
SC: Which ones are for Verizon?
*damnit*
Me: What brand phone do you have?
SC: Verizon.
Me: Yes, but who made the phone? What company?
SC: Verizon!
Me: OK.....Verizon is only your service provider. Their name may be on the phone, but they didn't make it; some other company did, such as Motorola, LG, or Samsung. I need to know which in order to sell you the correct charger. Do you have the phone with you?
SC: No, but it's a Verizon phone. Just give me a Verizon charger.
Me:
Ma'am, Verizon doesn't make the phone. It'd be Motorola, LG, or some other company.SC: So you can't sell me a charger?
Me: I could, but without knowing what make of phone it is, I'd have no way of knowing if it's the right one.
SC: It's Verizon.
Me: Ma'am, without the phone in front of me I can't determine what charger you need. Is there anything else I can help you with.
SC: No, I'm all set.
God....am I talking to myself here? I'll have you know ma'dam that it just like it takes two to tango, it also takes two to have a conversation, meaning that you need to LISTEN not just TALK. And why don't you have the phone? Is the battery already completely dead? If it were me, I'd try to get a new charger BEFORE that happened, and if I couldn't, I'd still bring the phone with me (well, actually I wouldn't since I already know what I need, but that's neither here nor there). I've had people bring in their whole damn printer just to be sure they were getting the right cable, just so as to be safe and not sorry. At least in that case it's always the UNIVERSAL USB cable, but sadly, universal phone chargers haven't quite caught on yet.
Wireless TV Headphones
Same woman! Obviously she lied when she said she was all set.
SC: Do you have headphones.
Me: Yes *walks her over to headphones* This whole section right here.
SC: Will any of these work with a TV?
Me: They will only if your TV has a headphone jack, and I have seen very few TVs that do, aside from portable ones.
SC: No, a regular TV.
Me: Well, as I said, you'd need a headphone jack on the TV, and as far as I know, most TVs don't.
SC: So these won't work on a TV?
Here we go again! I've already answered this question twice!
Me: In order for any of these headphones to work with a TV, the TV HAS TO HAVE a headphone jack on it. To the best of my knowledge, most TVs do NOT have such a jack, so unless you know yours does, then no, they won't. Besides, most of these are meant to be used with walkmen or MP3 players or iPods [yes, I know that iPods are MP3 players, but most people seem to think of them as different], so they have pretty short wires. You'd have to either sit right in front of the TV or get an extension cord for it.
SC: Oh, I don't want any wires, I want wireless headphones.
Me: Well I'm sorry but we don't carry any. All of these have wires.
SC: So which of these are wireless???
And we have a winner!!! She won the prize "Being Foisted Off on the Competition!" Congratulations!
Me: None of them. If you're looking for TV headphones, you'd be better off going to Best Buy. Since they deal in televisions, they'd be more likely to have what you're looking for.
SC (sounding as if that was the best idea since sliced bread): Oh, ok!
Me: Is there anything else you need? (pleasesayno pleasesayno)
SC: No, thank you.
And she meant it this time, thank God.
Oh, and she never did buy that red paper. Too bad, since that's the one thing she asked for that we could actually have sold her.
Bonus! Wherein I become a Math Teacher
(Ok, not really a bonus, but it didn't fit into the thread title)
Had a girl come in and ask for a calculator that "does fractions."
This isn't an unheard of request, but it's not common. Therefore I don't think it's something that teachers ask their students to buy, but rather something the student thinks they need. It doesn't matter either way, because we DO sell such things; all graphing calculators can handle fractional input (though you usually need to format it is "(x/y)" to make sure it solves the fraction before doing any other operations), and we also sell two-line scientific calculators that can do this as well.
Me: *tells here where the requested calculators are* But you really don't need that.
Girl: Huh?
Me: You could just solve the fractions, then enter the results.
*deer in headlights look*
Me: Instead of entering "1/4" for example, you'd enter "0.25"
Girl: Oh...ok.... *wanders off*
Obviously, someone needs to pay better attention in class instead of relying to heavily on a calculator.......
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