That's probably quite a straighforward one - but it would have led to an interesting crime update.
Subject of crime - Black Labrador (or whatever the hell the dog was)
Location of crime - Moat of castle
MO - Person as described below was seen to have sexual intercouse on the above time and date by [persons].
It was probably at that point the Sgt would have been wondering if the PC was taking something a little stronger than coffee...
Waiting is good. It means you're not going to die. The person you need to feel sorry for is the one who gets rushed into A&E and treated first.