No Sir, You're not Smart Enough for this Ride

[Gaki]

Okay, gas station. That covers the background initially.

I Need a Roadmap.

Confused Man: Hey, I need a pack of Camel Crushes. They're uh...
Me: *waiting for him to finish*
CM: They're uhhh.......the black ones, with the camel on them, um...third from the top. With the blue...and the...right there...*pointing.*
Me: .......*walks over and gets them* Sir I've worked here two years. I know where they are.
CM: Oh...I just....
Me: There are over one hundred packs of them on the shelves, they're hard to miss.
CM: ...oh.

No...just...go away.

We have these new things that fit on top of a soda can and it has a screw lid so essentially it turns your soda can into a soda bottle. So you can screw on a lid and it won't spill. Genius.

Woman comes up and starts to mold the thing over her SoBe Lifewater bottle that already HAS a screw lid and says this:

"This is sooooo cuuuuute! You think it'll fit onto this?"

I kinda stood there with my mouth ajar, wondering who could ever be so ridiculous. Why would one put a screw cap OVER a screw cap?

Hah. Gotcha...almost.

Me: Hey and when you register your rewards card online you can keep track of all your point usage and they can return your card to you with all the points still on it if you lose it, so you'll really want to register your card! And do it ONLINE, because if you do it with the papers you probably won't ever have it registered, just to be honest.
Jesus Lady: Okay, now are you ready for my spiel?
Me: Okay, shoot?
JL: Do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ?
Me: Can I register online?
JL: ...........HAH!

It almost stopped her. Almost. I think she went on and on for a good 10 minutes after that. It was unfortunate because for that brief pause I'd thought I'd shortcircuited her brain.

[Teskeria]

next time try saying 'you heathen! that is sacrilege!' that might shortcircuit them

[Ironclad Alibi]

Jesus Lady: Okay, now are you ready for my spiel?
Me: Okay, shoot?
JL: Do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ?

I immediately started thinking of replies to that question.

"No, I'm not gay."

"Yes, he's my third cousin."

[Chromatix]

"Yes, he's my third cousin."

"...and it's pronounced HYE-sus. Get it right."

[MadMike]

Everyone, let's please keep the religion-bashing off of here. Focus on the suckiness of the customers, not the religion.

[wolfie]

We have these new things that fit on top of a soda can and it has a screw lid so essentially it turns your soda can into a soda bottle. So you can screw on a lid and it won't spill. Genius.

Of course, to remove them you pretty much have to crush the can (i.e. it has to be empty). Wonder what the SCs will do after they put one of them on a can without first opening the can.

[MoonCat]

OK, for the customer suckiness part....why do some people think it's ok to ask personal questions of total strangers? Doesn't have to be religion, could be one of those other hot-button issues, and we all know what they are. I would have told the customer "I don't discuss my personal life with strangers. Have a nice day."