Vague & Vain
Me: Blah blah opening spiel this better not be real work because I'm tired.
Fishy: I'd like you to go through my computer.
Me: All right, are you having trouble with anything in particular?
Fishy: Not really, but I just want to have it done.
Me: Okay, what exactly would you like us to do with it?
Fishy: Go through the computer, like, um, always. Like I had done before.
Me: I'm not sure exactly what you mean. Did you want us to make sure there's no virus infection, or tune up performance?
Fishy: I think it's a tuneup, whatever you do, it takes about an hour.
Me: Okay, yeah, that would be the diagnostic then, where we just check for any sort of issues with the computer in general.
Fishy: Do you also do the internet?
Me: I'm sorry?
Fishy: Do you also do the internet? [spoken as if I'm hard of hearing and slow of mind]
Me: How do you mean by that?
Fishy: Well, I'm on AOL right now.
[long silence as I think she's about to get to the point]
Me: How do you mean 'Do you also do the internet?', what exactly do you mean by that?
Fishy: Do you do the AOL? When I sign on to AOL, do you clean that too?
Me: Uh, there's not really anything to clean in AOL unless you're having any specific problems with it.
Fishy: Oh, okay. No, not that I know of.
Me: I am connected now, and I can get started on that, but it is the one that takes an hour or so as you said, so if you like I can let you go while I work on that and give you call if anything goes wrong.
Fishy: No, I'll just watch.
Me: All right, sounds good, then you'd like to stay on the line?
Me: Okay, I'll just put you on mute, but go ahead and speak up if you have any questions, okay?
Fishy: Thank you.
The rest of the call consists of the customer asking a single question (Do I need my external drive connected?), her talking to her cat occassionally, and great stretches of silence. It lasts 35 minutes. We have to let custs stay on the line if they want to. Bye bye, AHT.
There was nothing at all wrong with the computer except for a couple of unnecessary startup items.
Now that I think of it, I guess there are temp internet files and such, but since our service clears those during pretty much any routinized service I didn't think of it as a separate thing to address at the time.