One of my favorite bookstore tales...
I've noticed that a lot of people today get truth and fiction mixed up...and then there are the conspiracy theorists. I'm very good friends with one super conspiracy theorist, and even he laughed at this.
This took place back when Dan Brown's DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons were incredibly popular. Now, for those of you who haven't seen the books, they're red. Like, not quite Mickey D's red or fire-engine red, but still a nice deep candy-apple red. When they first came out, literally three rows of a four-foot bookshelf section were fully dedicated to these novels. I had this conversation happen at least two times a shift for fully five months...
Me: "Hi there, can I help you?"
SC: "Yeah, I'm looking for Dan Brown's DaVinci Code."
Hey, this starts off like a good customer...you know exactly what you're looking for, I'm up front, and we can see the book from the register. Now, technically, we were supposed to walk everyone to their book, but for something that's on the first row, I didn't always insist on it (I was the manager) since you can get busy at the cashier's stand quickly.
Me: "Okay, well, if you look at the first row" <points>, it's that red book about halfway down the aisle.
SC: "Okay, thanks."
SC proceeds to walk over to the row, look at the book, pick it up, shake his/her head, and then come back to me. Oh, boy.
Me: "Is something wrong?"
SC: "Yeah, that's not what I want. It's in the fiction section."
"Yes, that's where it is - you did want Dan Brown's DaVinci Code, right?"
SC: "Uh-huh, but that's not the one I want. I want the non-fiction one."
Me: "Are you talking about Holy Blood, Holy Grail? He got a lot of source material from that, and it's in Religion. I can take you there."
SC: <normally they'd start to get irritated at this point.> "NO, I want the TRUE DaVinci Code by Dan Brown!"
Me: "With the red cover? The one that just came out? By Dan Brown?"
I would leave the customer service area, walk them to fiction, and pick up the book. "This is the only DaVinci Code by Dan Brown that we have, sir/ma'am. It is fiction. Not true." I would normally point out the back of the book, where the publisher has printed "Fiction" on the cover.
SC: "No, that's not right. It doesn't belong in fiction. What are you, stupid? Don't you know that they just want you to believe it's fiction?? It's a cover-up!"
Me: "Well, I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Have a good day."
They would normally storm off, "threatening" to never return. The only thing I have to say is: