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Old 11-19-2010, 12:30 AM
Food Lady's Avatar
Food Lady Food Lady is offline
I need a life
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The Express Lane
Posts: 5,632

I get this when I ask if they have coupons, But they always answer as to why they don't. One woman brought her sister into it, but I have no idea what she was saying, 'cause I'd almost tuned her out.

Old 11-19-2010, 02:28 AM
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Peppergirl Peppergirl is offline
Is not a mind reader
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hell, AKA - the call center
Posts: 3,108

Wrong: "Hi! This is Marjorie Smith from Douchebag corporation and I just got an email from my boss, asking me if I can go to Kansas City on Tuesday to finish the project for Douchebag's anonymous. I had to check with my co-worker to see if she could sit in on my local meetings this week, and she had to check with her babysitter. She finally just called me back and said yes, she found someone to watch her kids. That means she can now cover my evening meetings here in town, so now I need to book a flight reservation."

Right: "Hi. This is Marjorie Smith from Douchebag corporation. I need to book a reservation."

STFU about everything else. Seriously. I don't freakin' care!
"So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

Last edited by Peppergirl; 11-19-2010 at 02:31 AM.

Old 11-19-2010, 02:31 AM
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blas blas is offline
Haz Bad Attitude!
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Da gutter
Posts: 9,356

Right around the time I transferred departments at work, a new temp was hired who is a "life story" type of person, and he drives almost everyone a little nuts.

He can't simply ask for a hand lifting something or help with what to do next.....everything is a long drawn out story or explanation.
You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

Old 11-19-2010, 03:11 AM
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Andara Bledin Andara Bledin is offline
Girl Thursday
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 10,135

I have co-irkers who try to give me their life's story any time they need me to help them do something.

WRONG: Hi, I just sat down at my computer and tried to use it but it's not doing what it's supposed to be doing so could you come over and do this, that, and the other so that when I try to do routine function it works.

RIGHT: Hi, can you make it so that my machine will let me do routine function again?

Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

Old 11-19-2010, 03:12 AM
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Mr Hero Mr Hero is offline
Chairman of the Board
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Winterhold College
Posts: 3,916

Quoth morwynskya View Post
I, too, labor as seller of books. Frequently I think of Grandpa Simpson and his "tied an onion to my belt" story when I get one of those unnecessarily long-winded monologues.
Which was the style at the time.
To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

Old 11-19-2010, 03:51 AM
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Jester Jester is offline
High Priest to Grog-Boozith
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: 24 33' 19" N / 81 46' 58" W. This is Paradise.
Posts: 6,178

JESTER: "Thank you for calling The Bar, this is Jester speaking, how may I help you?"
CALLER: "Yes, is New Boss Man in?"
JESTER: "I'll see if he's available, may I ask who's calling?"

"This is Joe Dumbass with Zombie Tours, and I'd like to talk to him about doing a Zombie party at The Bar, as we think it would be a great location to do it at, and we'd like to do some cross-promotion with it, maybe make it an annual event, and I'd like to run some ideas by him, such as full Zombie make-up, a contests, raffles, and maybe even a Zombie cookoff.."

RIGHT: "This is Joe Dumbass with Zombie Tours."

Since I am but the Occasional Secretary for my boss (as in when I answer the phone), I don't need to know all about what you are planning. I am tending the bar, something I can't do if you are yakking my ear off. And frankly, telling me all that shit won't help anyways, as all I'm going to say to my boss when I get your motor mouth on hold is, "Hey boss, some guy named Joe Dumbass from Zombie Tours wants to talk to you. Are you available?" If he asks me for elaboration and you have given me all that, I'll probably just tell him that you sound like a schmuck.

Bonus points to people who do this shit to me when the bar is BUSY.

Double bonus points to people who do this shit to me when the bar is buys, and they are just salesmen trying to sell us something we don't need or want, like a new way to process credit cards, yada yada.

Look, I'm a talkative verbose motherfucker, and if *I* think you talk to much, that should be a hint to shut the fuck up.

Sadly, this type of call, of one variation or another, is just about a daily event. I'll give some slack to customers calling to ask about an issue they had or for some information, but if you are a professional tour planner, event planner, salesman, or band manager, or are calling about some other business, you should know that you don't need to give all that information to the fucking gatekeeper.

"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
Still A Customer."

Last edited by Jester; 11-19-2010 at 03:53 AM.

Old 11-19-2010, 05:09 PM
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MoonCat MoonCat is offline
I'm not bitter. I'm informed.
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Eastern US.
Posts: 7,609

I had a guy like that a few months ago placing ads to sell some items. I could not shut him up.

Example: (paraphrased due to mindless drivel filter) - And I have an air conditioner, too, it's way too big for my apartment, it's XX inches high and XX inches wide and it doesn't fit in my window all that well, and I really don't need it because if I open the door and open the window in the bedroom and the window in the dining room, I get a great breeze, you know a cross-breeze? So I really don't think I need this air conditioner so it's XX brand and ..." (endless repetition for ten minutes)

He did the same thing re: a dining room set, which he then talked himself out of selling. Literally would not stop talking, even though I interrupted him several times to try to end the call. He's probably still talking.
When you start at zero, everything's progress.

Old 11-19-2010, 06:06 PM
morwynskya morwynskya is offline
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 28

Quoth chainedbarista View Post
a spine chilling thriller he/she just couldn't put down. READ IT NOW.

Even more challenging in Latin. Seriously. "Walter Canus Inflatus."

Old 11-20-2010, 12:44 PM
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mharbourgirl mharbourgirl is offline
Area Manager
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 1,038

I have a co-worker like this. She is a lovely woman, brilliant and highly sought-after in her field, and she absolutely CANNOT stop talking. There are times I've had to just walk away nodding and smiling because even a simple 'I found that report you were looking for' can turn into a 20-minute monologue that explains why she wanted the report in about 60 rephrasings of the same thing.

Ok, look, I know I have the nervous habit of trying to explain why I did/said something in too much detail (it's one of the many quirks of my non-typical neurology, I'm fixated on the reasons for pretty much everything), but even *I* can figure out how to end a conversation without repeating myself a million times, and I can even pick up on other peoples' body language to know when I NEED to stop talking. My co-worker is blissfully oblivious to such signals. But she's too nice for anyone to say anything about it.
What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper
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