Diggie Behavioral Problems... HELP

[Kara]

Last summer, we got a dog. A 2 month old Border Collie. She was sweet and lovable, and great with the kids. I didn't exactly want a dog, because the last time my ex decided she wanted a dog, we got a fur-covered hyperactive engine of destruction and wound up giving it to someone who was better equipped to deal with it. But I read up on Border Collies and it seemed like she would be a much better fit for us.

Then all the stuff happened that tore my family apart. The day I was set to return to my house, some lady called me and said my ex wanted to know if I wanted to keep the pets or have her find them homes. I, thinking at the time that this would be short term and we'd all be one big happy family again, said I'd take care of them.

The dog apparently didn't take it all well. I expected that, more or less. I did everything I could to try to help her adjust. After a few weeks, I think she realized the kids (who she absolutely LOVES) weren't coming back any time soon. But now it's been nearly 6 months and I've pretty much had all I can take of her. If I let her out of her crate for any length of time she will either destroy anything that isn't bolted down or mess all over the carpet at the first chance she can get (she used to go sit by the door whenever she needed to go). Or both. She doesn't care if I'm watching, she'll look me in the eye while she does it. The weather is too unreliable this time of year to keep her outside, and my yard isn't fenced. Sometimes she refuses to eat or drink for several days though, so I like to keep track of how often and how much she is eating/drinking.

I can't really afford to get any kind of obedience training for her right now, even with a roomie my ex left me in such a huge financial mess that I'm barely making ends meet. The thing that makes it so hard for me to not hate her is that it's like she knows exactly what she's doing and just doesn't care anymore. It's not my fault my ex ditched us, but it's like she's taking it out on me personally. She frustrates me so much sometimes it makes me break down crying. I know she's a good dog, I just don't know how much longer I can take her destructive behaviors.

And last night she got sick. She seems to be doing a little better now, but still not quite over it. Once she does get over this, I have to give her a bath. She hates water with a passion I have never seen before in any animal, and she's big enough now that I can no longer fight her to keep her in the tub. I even got a waterless shampoo to try, and she reacts the same way (shakes and cries and messes everywhere when I try to get her clean). So now I'm looking forward to dealing with that too in a bit.

I don't know what else to do. I take care of her, play with her, pet her, take her for walks, take her to my mom's house when I go there to let her play with their dogs, so maybe she just hates me. She is my ex's dog, after all, so it would make sense in a way. I'm thinking of giving up and seeing if I can find her a home. She seems to be telling me she doesn't want to be here, and I'm really starting to feel like I don't want her here either.

[Thuringwethyl]

I have no advice but I sympathize with your situation. Poor doggie and poor you.

[draggar]

You have a border collie. Border collies are extremely intelligent (I think they are considered one of the most intelligent breeds, if not THE most intelligent breed) they are also workaholics and energetic. They NEED something to do.

With that aside, if you can, take time at night to take her for long walks in the evenings. If you have a fenced in yard play fetch with her (use the double toy method to train her to do that). She needs something to do.

As for going to the bathroom in the house - how old is she? When you take her out of her crate instantly take her for a walk. When she goes to the bathroom (outside) praise her (good girl! good girl!). Play with her a little outside after she goes to the bathroom (tug with a rope bone, etc.). Then, take her inside.

Watch her. If you cannot watch her put her in her crate. Normally most dogs won't just go to the bathroom - they'll sniff around and you'll learn to read the signs. If she starts to pee yell NO NO NO NO NO and take her outside right away. Then when you come back in, crate her. If you can read the signs and you see her getting ready to pee, distract her (Let's go outside!! (be happy about that)). Hopefully you can stop it before it happens. (BTW - Nature's Miracle is great for cleaning up pee).

Make sure she has god toys. Your local grocery store should carry soup bones (I think they're beef legs?). Rinse them in hot water for a few minutes (to clean them) and then freeze them. You can use them as a toy / treat (yes, they can be messy) and you can recycle them when the meat is gone - you can fill them with peanut butter and refreeze them. If you have hunters near you look for deer antlers.

Dogs don't hate (especially border collies). If you're a good alpha they'll love you. Good food, good toys, good interaction, good playing, etc. You have a herding dog and they are very pack oriented, they love a family.

I'm assuming she does well with the other dogs at your mom's house?

Obedience training is a must with a border collie, though. Look into group classes. They're generally cheaper than one on one training and you're the one working your dog. Some may even do classes (like pickup games) at local parks, ask your local vet if they know of any trainers who do this.

Also, if she is sexually mature you should spay her. I think you're in the USA? Go to SpayUSA.org and you can find a vet who works with them and you can get her spayed for around $25.

Another recommendation is to find border collie communities. Local or online and learn from them. Border collies aren't an easy breed to live with (and that's coming from someone who lives with Belgian malinois and Czechoslovakian vlcaks!).