Plaidman

[Kara]

I'd be happy to endorse this idea. I will not name anyone, but today alone, I was communicating with people via cs chat (and private conversations in cs chat), cs.com (and PM's here), Facebook messaging, Skype messenger, and text messaging on my cell # (I got a call from a number I didn't recognize and wondered if someone was calling me to talk. It turned out to be a wrong number, but I wasn't opposed to the idea). At one point, all of these at the same time. I spent my day off by going to a 12:30 matinee and then volunteering my time to anyone who needed someone to talk to, for a wide variety of reasons.

To anyone who thinks I was swamped, understand that I enjoyed this. It's... I don't know, maybe a coincidence, maybe fate, who knows why, but last week I realized that I like to help others. That helping people makes me happy. I meant every word I said when I offered all my contact info to anyone who needs it. Seriously, if anyone lived anywhere near me (only 1 member does, as far as I know) I would be willing to meet for a cup of coffee (or tea) to talk. I didn't feel "bothered" at all to do any of this. Due to the hours of my shift (2-10 Central Standard Time), I may not be the most accessible all the time, but I stay up late so I've got plenty of time to catch up and respond.

What I'm trying to say is, that today I pretty much was a hotline. So if anyone wanted to make something "official," I'm in.

And the keyword in this is "volunteer." I expect nothing in return for this. It's enough that I can at least try to be there for others the way Plaidman was, that I can honor his memory by doing what he did for me so many times over the years.

[JoitheArtist]

Quoth Marmalady

I've been reading all these offers of help, of a listening ear, and it strikes me that Plaidman's true legacy may be that the rest of us will always know we have someone caring for us... if that doesn't sound too hi-falutin'?... but I can't work out how to express it any better.

It;s ok, that was expressed fine. Though I wish he hadn't had to leave a legacy yet (dammit Plaid, why???), it's been truly amazing to see the community pull together this week.

[RootedPhoenix]

It has been amazing.

I wish it was for happier reasons.

[Spork4pedro]

I didn't know Plaidman other than his posts on here. From those I could tell how kind and welcoming he was. I mean, I barely knew him at all and the instantI saw on someone's sig RIP PLAIDMAN I searched for the truth and began crying! My heart truly goes out to him and his friends/family both at home and online. I hope that he is in peace now.

I've never had to type and cry before. I've never realised how hard it is!

[Librarian]

Quoth Jester

When you know what happened, as horrible as it may be, as much as the details may give you nightmares and waking visions you wish you could erase, you know what the source is, and you can go about exorcising that demon.

When you don't know, when there are a myriad of possibilities, it is just not possible to exorcise all those demons, as there are just too many of them to focus on individually.

/Agree
*part whited out for a TMI warning - don't read if you're squeemish about suicidemethods*
When i know someone committed suicide and i don't know the method I see a generic body hanging from the ceiling in my mind. Because that's how someone i knew well ended his life.
This somehow makes it easier for me, what you said makes perfect sense, i tend to very strictly limit the way i think on it.

[patiokitty]

When I read about Plaid's passing on Tuesday I fell apart. Every time I have come back to this thread I have fallen apart. Why? Because death in all its forms upsets me, even when it is somebody I only know through their postings on a message board.

And it upsets me because it could have easily been me. The only things that has kept me going from day to day for so long are my son and my friends. It reminds me that even when we feel like we have nobody that there is at least one person who we mean so much too. The outpouring of support here astounds me like nothing else...I knew this community of people was amazing but this completely proves it.

Plaid, I wish you could be here to see how much you are loved by everybody, even those who only knew you through here. Your memory will live on for all the good things you have brought about despite the pain you felt in your own life. Rest in peace, and may your next trip around the wheel bring you all the joy you so richly deserve...you are a beautiful soul.

[Magpie]

I dropped in specifically to see this thread, idrinkarum told me. I might not be around here anymore, but I'm saddened by the loss of Plaidman. There's not a lot I can say about him that hasn't been mentioned by other people.

I did want to add though - in addition to calling suicide prevention lines if you are feeling like it might be an option for you, they are apparently willing to help if you call because you don't know how to help a friend. After a friend committed suicide last year, one of the guys explained that he used to call the suicide help line and explain what this friend had been doing, and how he had responded, was there a better way next time? And they were quite helpful. It's not something that you can be expected to prevent, but if you're feeling helpless because of a friend, it's a resource for you too.

[draggar]

Quoth Rapscallion

If you're in the region and able to attend, I think they'd like the company. If you're not, please remember him in your own way.

Rapscallion

I know I sound like a broken record and a spammer but people can always make donation to the NFNetwork.org in his name ("Driver" Liles). I donated yesterday though their PayPal link, I emailed them asking them to put it in his name and memory.

[FormerCallingCardRep]

With having to deal with Neurofibromatosis (even though it is not me, but hubby) I understand some of what Plaidman was dealing with. Hubby and my hope is that with this happening and the other CSers reaching out to learn about and make donations in his memory, that more people can be accepting of those with NF and the money donated could finally find a cure.

The gene that causes NF was discovered 21 years ago. Medicines have been tried to control the fibroma growths. Treatments have been found to help to shrink the internal fibromas that they can not remove surgically. The researchers say that once a cure was NF is found a cure for cancer is not far behind.

HUBBY:

There is a couple of comments that I would like to make. For Plaidman I truly understand. Within a five month time period, I had 12 suicide attempts. I understand all the pain physically that has to be lived with, especially when a fibroma has its roots on a nerve. I can go into greater detail to anyone who want to have a conversation. Just ask. As for Plaidman, please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers. I will look forward to talk when asked

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I just want to say that no matter how depressed you get, no matter how much you think nobody cares, no matter how awful everything seems, there is never a case where you can just check out and not hurt a whole bunch of people in the process.

Couple years ago, a good friend of mine, (another Kinkoid, in fact) killed himself in a rather messy way and was found by his best friend. He'd left a note on the door "call the police and don't go inside."

Well, dumbass, your buddy went inside. Who the fuck wouldn't?

So yeah. I was at that memorial service and I saw what kind of state his best friend was in. In fact, nobody was in a much better condition, including me. (I think I must have mentioned that Kinko's let the entire store go to a memorial service and got other Kinkoid's from neighboring cities to cover the shift. This was why.)

My friend's name was Jaimey, and I loved him. And I'd like to kick him right in the nuts.

I know there are a lot of depressed people on here. I have been there. I have had that dark night of the soul. I have thought about the pistol in my nightstand in that dark night. There, I said. Who hasn't had that night. Let's just be honest here.

It gets better. God is my witness, it gets better. Your problems are temporary. Someone cares. Probably more someones than you think. Call someone and give them a chance to talk you down so they don't hate you and worse, hate themselves. Don't cheat yourself out of something beautiful that is most likely in your future.

I am happy and have a wonderful life. What I have now was worth every drop of blood and pain and sweat I had to spend to get here. I think back to that night and have to sit down until the shaking stops.