One from the mists of time...and grapes.
The grape lady thread reminded me of this, but not wanting to hijack that thread I thought I'd post this here.
Remember my uncle? The guy I called suckiest of customers? Sadly he passed away last year. Still this story is one that's given me fits of laughter (and my family) and bears sharing. It all takes place in wal-mart.
The uncle is sitting in the motorized scooter thingy, parked right by the fruit. I had been wandering the store and just came across him when I watch the following go down and end up laughing my tail off.
Uncle sits there, reaching his good hand out to grab a clump of grapes and eat. Not just one or two that he's buying, I mean a full on handfull. An associate is watching him during this. Uncle reaches out again, grabbing another clump of grapes and eats them. This happens once more before:
Produce Guy: Uh sir?
Uncle: (looks up guiltily) "What? What do you want!?"
Produce Guy: Sir, I uh...
Uncle: (sensing weakness) "What do you want? I'm not in anyone's way!"
Produce Guy: Well sir, it's just...You shouldn't be...
Uncle: I'm a paying customer!
Produce Guy (gaining a spine) Ok sir, but are you going to pay for THOSE too or just sit there and eat?
Uncle: (stutters) Wha wha what do you mean?
Produce Guy: I mean sir, I don't see a sign anywhere that reads all you can eat. You going to pay for those?
Uncle gets really nervous at this point and takes off. He doesn't get far though before the department manager comes up with the three bags of grapes he'd been eating from. Plopping them in the cart he turns to my Uncle who protests that he doesn't want them.
DM: You ate em. You're buying them.
The DM actually escorted my uncle up to the front to a register to make him pay for the grapes.
Later, I went back and appologized for his actions. (my uncle's) I gather, from the way the DM spoke, that my Uncle had become something of a "repeat" offender.
Learn wisdom by the follies of others.