Technical support does NOT mean we are the fairy godmothers/fathers that can wave a wand and magically fix your problem in seconds and/or while you're not at home.
If you have a problem with your connection, viruses and the like, call when the problem is occurring, not 6 months later!
Field techs are trained to ONLY deal with the lines for installations and repairs and like you and me they do not work for free! If you want a tech for anything else, do yourself a favor and call the Geek Squad!
We don't simply turn on your internet with the flip of a switch like you think we do. It involves setting up cables, pins, DSLAMS in the central office so YOU can get signal from us to your modem!
If there's no ETA on a tech to come out or for an outage or escalated issue to be resolved, there's no ETA and not every department deals with customers so for the love of all things holy STOP BUGGING THE SHIT OUT OF ME FOR AN ETA AFTER I FUCKING TOLD YOU MORE THAN ONCE THERE IS NO ETA!!!
Warranty or not, you break it you pay for it. Simple. I don't give a shit that you've been with the company for so many years and all that jazz, either you pay to get a new modem, receiver, etc. or you don't get shit.
Demanding that I get a tech out to your house at the snap of your fingers ain't gonna happen. For one they go by whatever appointments are assigned to them and each appointment has a 4 hour time window. Number two, it's just pointless to try and chase the tech down across the street at your neighbors because you want him working on your problem. They don't work that way and they are not genies, they don't come when you want your wishes! You HAVE to be home so the tech can look at the wires and cabling, if you or some other adult aren't home when the tech came by, don't come crying. You were told to be there but you left like a dumb ass. Either shut up and reschedule or keep being an idiot and still have the problem ongoing!
Credits are given sparingly out of courtesy for inconvenience, NOT out of entitlement.
The people you call up for tech support are TRAINED to help you out and if you feel that the help you were given was inferior, please feel free to hang up the phone and not call. We have a queue of calls coming in that genuinely need our help that we could be servicing instead of wasting our breath on your incredibly asinine arguments and on how superior you are because you're (supposedly) some big shot techie guru.
A little small talk is nice but you're fucking up my handle time yakking my ear off! If you're that lonely, go out and meet people, go to groups, social events or something!
This is a 1-800 customer service number, NOT 1-900 YuSoHorny ya creep!!!
Supervisors don't troubleshoot so if you demand somebody higher up than me to troubleshoot your technical issue, bitch and moan to get your way, then you're shit out of luck! Oh and by the way the supervisors would tell you the same shit that I just told your dumbass!
You must be specific and to the point when you need help with your technical issues! Tech Support Reps =/= mind readers!
The company gives you services you pay for with the parts that are necessary for you to get service, not extra shit like audio/video cables and computer parts! This isn't Best Buy and no you're not getting them free!
There's reasons why the company doesn't support XYZ operating system, equipment and/or software; those reasons are due to the software and/or equipment being obsolete, non-proprietary versions of the product along with (in some cases) legal and liability reasons. Either call your tech guru friend or relative to help or just quit being a cheap fuck and cough up the dough!
If you're past due on your bill, damn near the cut off date and have yet to pay the bill, you don't get shit until you pay up.
If you can't get on the internet, get to your emails or get cable/satellite service for your TV we can help but if you get a virus or junior breaks your computer, that's your responsibility. NOT the company's.