1. The facts are against you, ma'am AKA more 169 asshattery....
To be honest, this woman was pleasant.... until I told her what she didn't want to hear. Her wireless laptop was giving a 169 IP. She had 4 other wireless devices and they all worked FINE on the same modem with the same WPA key, so it wasn't a modem issue. I did the standard troubleshooting and things didn't change.
Me: Unfortunately, your computer is giving a 169 IP, that means it's either corrupted software or a bad wireless card. *Gives her the options that make the most sense: either call the manufacturer or bring it somewhere.*
SC: I'm not doing that. There's no way it's a computer issue when it worked just fine up until two days ago.
Me: Ma'am, computers, like anything man made and mass produced, are things can work one day and not the next. It's not a modem issue as your four other devices work just fine.
SC: TELL ME WHY YOU THINK IT'S MY COMPUTER! (Yes, she started to yell).
Me: It works fine on all your other PCs. Your computer is telling you, basically, that an internal issue on the computer's side
is preventing it from pulling an IP address from the modem and is placing a bogus IP there as a placeholder.
SC: I'm still not buying your explanation!
Me: We're not computer techs here, but prior experience with things like this tell me that the problem is 100% your side on the computer. And because of that, troubleshooting this issue would require me to go way
beyond our scope of support.
SC: Still not buying it!
Me: *At this point I had enough.* Ma'am, as was stated before it's either faulty hardware, or it's Windows. With Windows stuff happens....
Knowing my luck, this is the type of SC that will give me a bad survey.
2. Doesn't get what "out of warranty" means.
Customer was found to have a bad modem. Because it was out of warranty, unless he had inside wiring protection he would have to pay full price on the modem.... and he didn't. BTW, his modem was 5 years old.
Me: I'll give you two options to replace the modem. You can either buy one outright for $80, or you can add our DSL protection for 10 dollars a month that you can cancel once it goes past 3 months.
SC: Why should I pay for a modem or sign up for a protection plan? This is poor service!
Me: Sir these modems are made by a 3rd party company who gives a 1 year warranty on the modem. During the warranty we are happy to replace it free of charge but once the warranty runs out there would be a fee unless you sign up for the DSL protection.
SC: My friend who lives in [major city] and has [other ISP] had a modem replaced that was 4 years old, FOR FREE!
Me: As far as I know, the only way that would happen is if your friend was leasing a modem. All ISPs have the same policy, if you own a modem outright like you do it's free for the first year then you have to pay for it.
SC: Well I still think it's poor service for you to charge me for something that I need to use your service and tell me I have to commit to a protection plan to bring the price down.
Me: Let me make an analogy here. You buy a car, and the car comes with a warranty. However after the warranty runs out the car needs to be fixed. The dealer would tell you there's a fee to fix it. Just like us, is that poor service because just the dealer is following warranty policy?
SC: Well then for that analogy, you just buy a new car! *Apparently, he just likes throwing money away too.*
Me: What if all the car needed was a new shift lever?
SC: Don't be a smartass.
Me: Sorry if I appeared to come off that way, but for this modem replacement you can buy a new one for $80 or sign up for DSL protection, cancel it after 3 months and basically get the modem for $30. I'm just trying to save you some money here.
SC: Fine I'll sign up for the DSL protection!
Me: Please hold while I transfer you to our sales team who can sign you up for the protection and order you the modem....
Sadly, I get a few customers who think that just they pay a monthly fee, means we are obligated to give modems away for free.