So I was in the store today, getting some stuff together, and I was standing in the baking aisle looking at the different flours. Some lady wanders up beside me and makes small talk.
SC Lady: Wow, there are so many different kinds.
Me: Oh, yeah. I was amazed in culinary school at all the different sorts we had to learn.
...it was like I'd just told her I could spin straw into gold.
SC Lady: OH! You went to culinary school!
Me: (still thinking we're making small talk) Oh, yeah, I graduated last year, it was really a fun class to be in.
SC Lady: That's great! I've been needing to find a chef to hire for a party I'm throwing next month! You've got the job!
Me: Um, well, thank you but I can't-
SC Lady: See, I'm wanting to do a sort of Japanese steakhouse thing, where the chef does the food right there at the table, it's for my book club, we have little get togethers every month and I really wanted to impress them, so you can do whatever food you want, but I want it done right on the table.
Me: Well, ma'am, I'm not really able to-
SC Lady: I'd really like to do courses and everything too, I can get someone else to do the plates and be like the busboy, so all you'll have to do is the cooking.
Me: It sounds fun, but I can't take the-
SC Lady: And you know what'll be really fun! *something something something French cuisine something something book about France*
Me: Okay, but ma'am I don't think I'd be able to do this, you should-
SC Lady: *something something Gladys will be so jealous something old bats something something motor mouth*
Me: Ma'am, I'm not taking the job-
SC Lady: *LOUDER AND FASTER GIDDY EXCITEMENT*
Me: *whimpering in abject fear by this point* Ma'am, I don't think you're hearing me...
SC Lady: Okay, so get in touch with me, here's my number *hands me a business card* and I'll get you all the details! I can't wait to start planning!
Me: *doing best Fluttershy impression* Um, ma'am I really can't-
SC Lady: You can call me any time between 5 and 8 in the evening! Just let me know what to buy for the menu.
Me: I...I don't know how to make you understand...
SC Lady: Well, I need to run, just give me a call! *zooms off*
Me: *standing in aisle, holding business card, terrified*
So...uh...what do I do now?