Non-Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[aqutalion]

"First, we will eat and drink. Then we will go see the women. Yes?"
(For the full effect, read in a monotone generic-"European" accent)

[Bardmaiden]

Wooohoo! I've pulled!

[Docmayhem]

Answering machine message I left:

Hey, Troll, it's Ogre. I got the cannon fuse. Talk to you later.

[Jay 2K Winger]

J2K: "I find that most problems can be blamed on Tom."
Tom: "I wasn't even there!"
J2K: "...so?"

[dragon_wings]

Voicemail message: LEAVE A MESSAGE OR DIE!

[Mishi]

I had a Freudian slip on a writing piece...'cummunity' (media release for a conservative party member promoting family values).

[firecat88]

"It's all good except for the PHP."

Me to my sister: "Would you be so kind as to not flick sugar in my eye?"

Me: "Wow, it is tumbleweed central out there."
My sister: "Any trampolines?"
Me: "Nope. No trampolines."

Me: "I actually used 'complete and total sissy-chicken' in a sentence today! I feel so nerdishly happy."

Me: "'Grr'?"
My bestie: "'Grr' I say unto ye!"

My sister: "Damn the man!"
Me: "Is his name Spam?"
Sister: "His name is Spam!" (With 'damn', 'man', and 'Spam' all said with the same 'a' sound as in 'Ha!')

"How *dare* you!"

"Mine says, 'Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity'."

[Becks]

Your heels tend to either look like crusted over popped blisters or like they got fresh burns.

[Jay 2K Winger]

"How about you get a nice tall glass of PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE?"

[cashierbex]

"I don't like salty nuts"

"The gym is a place that you can be ugly while working out."