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06-27-2012, 09:52 AM
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Seriously?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kali-for-nai-nae
Posts: 186
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I got tired of sc's calling in asking if we were the people that sold tires and i would answer with 'yeah we used to now we just make them of of wheat' :P
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"This job would be great if it wasn't for the f***** customers." - Randell 'Clerks'
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06-27-2012, 12:12 PM
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Corporate Security
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 180
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I knew a Staff Sergeant once would always answer his cell phone with "Roscoe's chicken and waffles, we don't serve white meat, this is Leeroy whatcha want?" Didn't matter how many times I heard it I swear it never got old.
Last edited by Rainman; 06-27-2012 at 12:15 PM.
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06-27-2012, 02:55 PM
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Pedestrian of the Apocalypse
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 3,558
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"Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em."
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PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.
There are only four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
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06-27-2012, 04:14 PM
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Chairman of the Board
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,255
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They do have cameras, but they rotate so you can watch different areas and then you have to start recording if you see something. So, whoever was on that day didn't pay attention to them.
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"My pet badger needs a lover. Can I introduce you two?" - Quote by ackmeow
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06-27-2012, 08:40 PM
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Assistant Manager
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 475
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My grandparents ran a photo business out of their house; one day my grandpa answered the phone "Smith's* Mule barn, which jackass do you want?" and it was a boy calling for my mom, pissed her off, so when the phone rang again mom answered it "Lucille's Massage Parlor - we never rub you the wrong way" this time it was a customer.
luckily the customer had teenage daughters too, and was very understanding; Grandpa was not amused at first.... he got over it, and came to realize that he actually kinda deserved it
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I am well versed in the "gentle" art of verbal self-defense 
Once is an accident; Twice is coincidence; Thrice is a pattern.
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06-27-2012, 09:28 PM
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Assistant Manager
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Holodeck 3
Posts: 274
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My dad would occasionally answer the house phone with "<Last name>'s Nut House, this is the head nut speaking!" I always thought it was hilarious. Thankfully, though, he never did it when a boy called for me.
I used to answer my dorm phone in college with "Paco's Tacos!" until I got a call about a job I'd applied for. I didn't get another call from them after that. Whoops!
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"Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil." - Irv
"This is all strange, uncharted territory and your hamster only has three legs." - Gravekeeper
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06-27-2012, 09:54 PM
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Bagger
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 356
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the local version is answering with "Battersea Dogs Home".
I don't know why, as it doesn't actually work, nor is funny.
I've been getting a bunch of wrong numbers for the 'new' phone work gave me.
Getting "I want Fred*, Fred*, FRED!*" gets them hung up on.
Getting "Why are you answering this phone??" gets "Cos it's my phone", and hung up on.
Asking "I'd like to speak to Fred*" and Responding to "This ain't Fred's* phone and I've no idea who he is" with "Sorry, please ignore this message, unless you are free on Thursday and are good at golf" gets a lol.
:-)
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06-28-2012, 07:27 AM
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Puncher ... of Tickets!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: 13A, Moonbase Beaver.
Posts: 886
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My Dad's variation was "Mad house, chief idiot speaking!" I've been known to use it as well, and so far it hasn't backfired...
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That definitely calls for a query about the relationship between arboreal regions and ursine defecation habits. - Wolfie
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06-28-2012, 08:27 AM
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Chairman of the Board
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Winterhold College
Posts: 2,977
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"Bob's Blowjobs this is Niel "
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To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...
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07-04-2012, 08:04 PM
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Just some guy
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 11,658
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Quote:
Quoth scruff
the local version is answering with "Battersea Dogs Home".
I don't know why, as it doesn't actually work, nor is funny.
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Depends how you do it.
"Battersea Dog's Home. You hound 'em, we impound 'em."
I used that quite often at home. A mate has demanded to know if I've got caller ID to see who it is and I've always truthfully told her that I don't. Simply put, if people know me then they know I'm doing some stupid shit. If they don't then they're likely selling stuff. I've sent quite a few sales types packing with that. Works for me.
Rapscallion
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